Dilemma

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by Fons, Jul 28, 2023.

  1. Fons
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    Fons Member

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    #1 Fons, Jul 28, 2023
    Last edited: Jul 28, 2023
    Hello all,

    I am Fons, i love my wife, i am learning about flr and how to be a "good-boy".

    A lot of this learning in the last 6 months was from listening to the 'KF' podcast from Mrs Alisa. If you want details about that let me know.

    So i learned that for me it is important to focus on happyness of my wife and less on the pleasure's my dick is shouting for. This is because i long my relation to be fullfilling and that can only be met if i focus on growing our love in stead of self pleasuring. Due to this i recognise our love at home has grown a lot.

    So this makes being over here on CM a dilemma. I like reading about the experiences of others. But sometimes i recognise i am reading things over here for my own pleasure resulting in distracting myself from my journey and goal to focus on my relation.

    So I stopped several times reading over here... but on quiet moments i could not resist starting reading again. This is a dilemma for me.

    Fons

    PS: In terms of chastity: I am 4 months in 'honour based' chastity now. I initiated this myself and told my wife openly. I only had one O since and this was while we were together (very, very pleasurable but also a very big drop afterwards). I feel this is the right path for me but sometimes it is hard to stay on track.
     
  2. laohuboy
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    laohuboy Active member

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    Welcome.

    This is a very friendly space and I'm sure you'll get a lot from being here - whenever you are here :)

    Just a random thought:

    I see this site as part of the tease of chastity.

    Maybe you could ask your KH for "permission" to look at this site when you want to?

    She could check your thinking/reasoning is "acceptable" and deny you if she feels like it?
     
  3. JaySaysYes
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    JaySaysYes I identify as someone that is always right

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    Do you think you need to give up all pleasure?
     
  4. Fons
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    Fons Member

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    #4 Fons, Jul 28, 2023
    Last edited: Jul 28, 2023
    Thanks for your reply laohuboy,

    I don't have a KH. I have a loving wife. The honour based chastity is my own initiative. Up until now i did mention things i gave up to her but i did not ask her to be KH (yet). I did not ask her to be KH (yet) because i want to avoid dumping another male "want" on her plate. I concentrated on being serving, understanding and loving for now. I learned this approach through the podcast i mentioned. I recognise the profit from this approach because now if she does touch me or gives me directions it is her want and has nothing to do with me having "stickey fingers" (expression for trying to get what you want through dick driven behaviour). So I did not discuss CM or being KH with her yet. As a result her touch is so much more meaningfull; a kiss feels like i am a teenager again. And following up her directions sometimes gives butterflies in the belly.
    This is also consistent with the learn from Mrs Alisa the FLR starts OUTSIDE of the bedroom.

    Fons
     
  5. Fons
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    Fons Member

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    #5 Fons, Jul 28, 2023
    Last edited: Jul 28, 2023
    Hi Jay ... thanks for your reply.

    No i do not think i have to give up all pleasure. Pleasure can be experienced in a lot of areas. With the kids, during work, voluntary work, listening music etc. These are all fine.
    But i do need to give up all "dick originated", "dick releated", or "dick driven" pleasure's. Just because the mindspace and/or energy they use/ take up or block growing into our relation together. In the 30 yrs of marriage i did not realise this but now i found out my love senses perfectly if my mind has been seeking sex related pleasure elswhere on the web or whatever. She may not be able to pinpoint it exactly but she feels. And the standard natural reflex of a woman if she senses such things is to hold off intimacy. And intimacy is of course wat i want to grow a lot.

    Fons
     
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  6. littleguy3
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    littleguy3 Adoring husband

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    You are on the right track and are very introspective in a good way! Keep on in the direction you're heading!
     
  7. MissyB
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    MissyB Long term member

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    Welcome to our community. Enjoy.
     
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  8. jemima
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    jemima maid for my Mistress

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    hello @Fons and welcome to here and i hope you like it here as well.

    please if you only come on here for a bit and stop and read some thingys and then leave and do work for your Mistress all day then i dont think She will be angry with you.
     
  9. Fons
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    Fons Member

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    Thank you all for a warm welcome!
    Fons
     
  10. laohuboy
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    laohuboy Active member

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    Thanks for the reply Fons. Sounds like you have a great attitude to being a supportive and loving husband. I hope you and your wife are able to get something from being part of the community here.
     
  11. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Long term member

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    Hello and welcome. Don't overthink things. Enjoy it. Good luck
     
  12. madams-sissysub
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    Hi there and welcome to the mansion!
     
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