Czech Living in US - hypospadia & varicocele

Hi Everyone,
Glad I found this site as great resource.
I was a late bloomer and very afraid of women. Perhaps due to my penis size and hypospadia surgeries. My wife was my first girlfriend, she is dom in bedroom. We have been together for 18 years since college and we are now experimenting with chastity. My wife really loves the idea, which I introduced, but because of my varicocele pain in testicle I cannot wear ball trapped device more than couple days due to pain. Looking at full belt or other solutions. Not sure if I wanna be 24/7, but wish I could spend at least 2-3 weeks in chastity, just enough to produce desperate feelings for my wife.

So far my wife has requested that I don't touch myself in a pleasing way, and don't watch porn and that I direct all my sexual energy to her. She uses me for PIV and other satisfaction and I am edging myself most of the time. So far it has resulted in greater bonding and sex, and has brought some spark in our life. I am looking forward to submit more to her. Because of the chastity, her control goes beyond bedroom and I like it, yet I am resistant to be in full FLR.

Chastity play came about also after my affair, and way to rekindle our sex life and show my wife my devotion for her.

My mind is full of kinky fantasies, so I get turned on with BDSM, polyamory, sissy play, cross-dressing, cuckold etc. As I am showing my wife willingness to respect her boundaries and pace and give her more love, she is opening up more to my fantasies... which has been delightful, and I am excited to see how we evolve from here.

Looking forward to be part of this site,
Freaky Rabbit