Coping Mechanisms

Discussion in 'Novices and newbies' started by VeryEnd, Jan 23, 2021.

  1. VeryEnd
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    VeryEnd Active member

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    I’m three weeks into lock up. My KH is long distance and I have made a gentleman’s commitment that I will not cum. I’ve honoured this as it will be a complete betrayal of trust, even though she will never know my brain can compute the idea of cheating. Being caged was at my request but on her terms. I’m not to cum

    so far so good, but this morning I’m going up the wall. The urge is unbelievable and it feels like I’m junkie having withdrawal symptoms and needing my next fix. I’ve resisted, but don’t know how

    Do you folk experience this? How do you overcome these feelings? What are your coping mechanisms?

    I’m determined to see this through to where ever it goes and I do not want to let Miss down. This for me is very important

    Any advice is welcome, Thank you
     
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  2. missmissy
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    missmissy Active member

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    First and foremost, put your KH first in your mind. Just because its long distance doesn't mean the trust and care is gone. When I think of cheating on agreement, I just think about how disappointed my wife will be if I fail her. That reinforces everything.

    Works for me. YMMV
     
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  3. MissyB
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    MissyB Long term member

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    I find that doing things that might please her helps me keep the commitment too. Does she have any rules or requirements for you, beyond being caged and not cumming? Is you relationship one, where if together, she expects you to do chores for her, or complete other tasks? If so, do them at your place, as if she were there. Perfect your skills so when together you can serve her better. You can also try shifting your sexual desire to other body areas, so you can deflect the need to cum. It is hard, but with her in mind, it is possible. Good luck and enjoy.
     
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  4. King Hippo
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    King Hippo Long term member

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    Get a hobby or start working on something to improve yourself with your time. It can be for personal gain too...

    -Learn to cook better
    -Workout/Gym
    -Start Reading

    My point is do something that will make you a better person and take it serious. This list is not limited to what I mentioned either, get busy!
     
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  5. jemima
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    jemima maid for my Mistress

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    you prob like lots and lots of men that keep think about there willy a lot and if you try and think about other thingys then it wont be so bad for you.
     
  6. sissy_connie
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    sissy_connie Long term member

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    One of the purposes of a chastity cage is to train you that you should focus your attention on HER ..not your pleasure. With the right cage ..your feelings should pass or quiet down.
     
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  7. VeryEnd
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    VeryEnd Active member

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    Good info. I have plenty of hobbies and distractions and for three weeks it hasn’t been an issue. Just woke up this morning and it was just intense. I’ve never felt anything like that. I have daily tasks to complete. They are incredibly varied and often extremely challenging.

    Our friendship is based on trust, as this was my decision to be caged I just can’t break that trust. It won’t sit right in my head. It was me that wanted to experience not having control and keeping to my commitment.

    Blimey what an experience, but I sit here with a big grin on my face that I have complied with the instruction from Miss

    one copping mechanism she has given today is that I’m to wear an elastic band on my dominant wrist. Flick the elastic band if I have an urge to do something I’m not allowed

    Earlier today it was incredibly tough but I wouldn’t change anything.
     
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  8. VeryEnd
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    VeryEnd Active member

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    My arrangement
     
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  9. Lazlo Toth
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    Lazlo Toth C/D on the TomAllen-Rectrix scale: 9/9

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    That is precious! I love it. Stay cum free!
     
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  10. StubHub
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    StubHub Long term member

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    Congratulations. Keep up the good job
     
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  11. missmissy
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    missmissy Active member

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    very nice, unique reminder.
     
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  12. asastype
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    asastype Service sub to Mistress AMA

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    I have a dog tag like that hanging on my cage, as well. It makes for a nice reminder of my status.

    Mine is rubber--i found the metal one clanged too much and was noticeable at times. Will you get a new one with the date when you're locked up the next time?

    asa
     
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  13. VeryEnd
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    VeryEnd Active member

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    Lol, this has only just started, I think this will go on for a while.

    next time isn’t even a twinkle in anyone’s eye yet

    Miss wants one for my PA ring, which you can see in the pic
     
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