Consensual Non-consent

Here is something that someone on another thread recommended that discusses the topic. Candidly, I can't tell if it's meant to be taken as anything more than a masturbatory fantasy, but it purports to be something its author intends seriously.

 

it certainly worked as a masturbatory fantasy for me, didn't even last half a page before it got all too much.. the thought alone of a woman doing this is enough. Jealous

 

though our puck is owned with a non-consensual consent agreement she is not a slave and we could not be that harsh to our cherish property.

 

Nah.. too over bearing.. chastity has to be fun.. at least for the subbie.. isnt it sexier for him to be willingly dominated, humiliated and maybe some manipulative coersion… but at the same time the madame is strict and yet loving..

 

The human species is fascinating. We are able to shout open-mindedness, but we are unable to live without rules. What interests me is flexibility and the balance between rules and freedom. What we consider free today was forbidden and misleading in the past. Certain freedoms of the past have today become immeasurable horrors.

Is it possible to be a submissive person without necessarily living like this dominatrix does? For me this text is certainly a book of fantasy and masturbation.

I could never conceive of staying home to serve one person. I need to work, feel valued, feel like I'm changing the world a bit and I like to play through it. Can we consolide willness and be a docile servant in the same time? For me chastity is a serious game and a choice. By my own strength I could only cut the padlock and remove this chastity cage around my penis. By a voluntary act I agree to lose control and losing this responsibility enriches me and makes me grow.

I must admit that the idea of being a poor slave or serving a severe and perverse dominant excites me a lot sexually. But There is no way I will be able to live this way. Maybe a weekend to play. Maybe a little more.

Put it all away my life leaving everything behind to become a slave is something else. And as a speaker above said, it seems that this text of this dominant woman is serious.

My point is sometimes I feel discouraged in front of these cases that I qualify as extreme, or marginal (this is not a negative judgment) I feel as if being a servant for my wife is only possible through the abstract of ourselves from all my desires and ambitions. then, my wife certainly wants a full developed wise and ambitious male at home. Does it mean she can't be the queen? The boss?

We all know that there are many levels and degrees and ways of living and I like to know what other people are going through. However, sometimes I feel like I'm not up to discussing or talking because I haven't reached certain standards or certain rules. That's what happens once at a bdsm discussion munch.

Rules fluctuates through time, we are putting categories everywhere: what is a real flr? What is a real domme/sub dynamic? What is bdsm? Those words I tend to take it has term to put some definition to a specific way of life. But it seems by time that those words become boxes full of rules of compliance prior to use them.

Can we be free to approach a flr with more or less domination roles to the man? Where is the upper limits? Will the limits shift in five years so the today flr style will become obsolete?

 

Sorry all of my experience is with consensual agreements

 

I'm with you on this - I couldn't live as a completely dehumanized slave in perpetuity, but I'd love to be put in that role for periods of time. A month? I think a month would be nice...

And part of that is I know that chattel slave isn't who my wife would want either, on a permanent basis. But she's gradually finding more enjoyment in a combination of having a full-time helper and an occasionally slave. For my part, I enjoy the thrill of knowing at any moment it could go more extreme that I was expecting.

Again, I'm 100% on board with this. None of this is, shall we say, codified by law anyway. There aren't licensing bodies that will issue you a fine if you call yourself an FLR without a certificate from them. You don't need to be accredited by the National Association of Femdoms And Male Subs (NAFAMS).

For me, "flr" is the idea that my wife can - at any time - decree me a slave for the next few hours, days, or even weeks. The upper limit is returning to "normal" after a while, making slavery a spice and not the only dish on the menu. I don't think the limits will shift, other than the balance of slave-to-normal might shift.

 

Thanks for your comment.

 

Sorry @jshackleton2016 that I dont have ay books to recommend. But I do think that CNC does not have to be so bad. It can be as simple as a man who doesnt crave chastity, to voluntarily cede that choice to the woman he loves, after which there is no easy way out.

I know. That's me. And I am struggling with it now that I could cheat if I wished, but how does the ability to defeat the NC negate the C? And does that mean it is completely voluntary and concensual? I don't think so. I think CNC applies to any relationship where one party cedes control to the other, even to the extent they are then denied something they really would be happy with. And that could mean a lot of us...

 

My relationship with my wife went from an FLR to consensual non-consent when we got married. She didn’t use this language specifically but was building towards it the whole time our relationship was developing and very intentional about the rules she laid out for me. There were a couple of times that she warned me to be sure I knew what I was agreeing to - once when she said “you realize I’m not playing?”, and another time closer to the wedding when she said with a serious tone, “I hope you know that if you sign that agreement, I’ll hold you accountable for every word of it.”. Of course moments like that made me even less rational and more hungry to submit to her.

Our agreement took consent and negotiation completely off the table and made it clear that I would be disciplined for resisting or attempting to assert power.

I was extremely lucky that my wife was very loving and compassionate and so didn’t use the power to abuse me. Because of this, it was the best thing I’ve ever done, but with the wrong person is could have been terrible.

I’m happy to answer any questions about it.

 

I enjoyed reading about your relationship. Can I ask how long have you been married?

 

We were married for 6 years. My wife passed away.

 

I am sorry. How are you doing? When did she pass? Could you tell us more about this amazing woman?

 

I’m sorry for you loss

 

Yes, the line between reluctance and CNC seems a bit fuzzy sometimes. That said, I think the NC in CNC implies having consented to cross the line to the point where you couldn’t stop something even if you wanted to, or at least that the consequences would be too severe.