Cheating the cage.

Because men are stupid horny animals that can't think for 5 minutes about anything else. When their kh doesn't share this unhealthy sexual appetite and fails to give him the attention he desires, he has second thoughts and figures what the hell.

Never crossed the line myself, but I can remember a few times that if I could have I might have. If this wasn't difficult, their would be no need for the cage at all. Honor is all well and good, but physically not being able, helps conformity.

 

the first time I figured out I could pull out of my first chastity device I was devastated. It was no longer real to me, more of a fantasy game. I wanted the real deal, something I couldn't get out of or couldn't orgasm in. So naturally I've tested all of the devices I have purchased over the years. I also gave myself a PA so pull out was no longer an option. Sadly though I haven't found a device I can't orgasm in yet. Though I have never tried a full belt. Besides an orgasm in a device is not really anything special and usually painful. But for my own belief in the devices I felt better knowing. So I guess what I'm saying is that for me it wasn't so much about disrespect but more about making the situation real in my mind.

 

Something I always ask too. There are several different views on chastity. Some call being locked up as chastity, and have orgasms every few days as usual, but are locked up in-between. Others view chastity as orgasm denial beyond the time they feel that they need an orgasm rather than get an orgasm when they feel that they need/want to.

Others are more into the device and feeling that they cannot escape so they keep trying. They want a warden more than a Key Holder. That can be very tiring for someone to supervise them 24/7. Others self lock without a power exchange with anyone, or sex without orgasm. That is more celibacy in my view, but a valid fetish nonetheless.

There are those where chastity is not the main fetish. It is just one part of a larger fetish like BDSM, cuckolding, sissy play, D/s, etc..

Then there are those who view chastity as orgasms denial, with or without being locked up. To them chastity is a joint effort to maintain the male orgasm free for as long as possible. This requires that the male have enough self restraint to not masturbate or try to escape. Both the male in chastity and his Key Holder, work towards a common goal based on the male's word. This is the group I am in. Wearing a cage 24/7 is icing on the cake for me but locked or not, I still do not masturbate.

There are those who try to live chastity like the fantasy versions they read or see in porn. The submissive wife turns into a dominatrix overnight. The guy does all the housework, cooks and holds down a full time job while being treated as a slave 24/7. Most of that is pure BS and posted by guys who soon disappear from whatever forum they post to. Unless you have a psychological problem, no man wants to be a slave 24/7 and be beaten for every infraction. There is a fine line between a fetish and psychological problem. I know because I was into extreme S&M only to find out it was due to depression which once treated, ended my S&M fetish play which is why we do chastity now instead. I have never come across someone actually living 24/7 as a slave, even the guys I met at BDSM clubs.

Of course there are always exceptions. There are people who make it doing it the way most fail at. I lasted 30 years in a poly triad and never knew anyone who lasted that long, so there are always exceptions. I am just saying as a generalization, that most will fail doing it one way versus another. Does not really matter though as long as they have fun while it lasts. It was just about 40 years ago that my wife was labeled as a lesbian and her sham marriage to me would not last long because there was no such thing as bisexuals. We are married 45 years with no problems so things do not always turn out as most think they should.

The ones that I have found to last long at chastity are the ones who view chastity as a joint effort, and those that do it occasionally throughout the year. They may lock up a week before Valentine's Day and then put the device away until a week before their wedding anniversary. I have followed couples into chastity for very long periods of time. Some still blog but they do chastity in a reality based way, not trying to duplicate the way they saw in porn that gave them many orgasms by masturbating. Even then who knows, perhaps there are long practicing chastity couples where the male is punished and have their cages welded shut and treated like a piece of garbage put on earth to serve women who are more worthy than they are for some imagined reason. I have seen all sorts of things in my life so nothing is absolute. There is only what is most common and what tends to last longer. All play is valid play. Just want to make the point that if you want the odds on your side to make your play last longer, there are some ways that have better odds of succeeding in the long run. Not saying who is right or wrong or that there even is a wrong. Just what seems to work better than others.

I have no external statistics so can only go by what I have observed in almost 5 years of chastity and belonging to every chastity forum I ever belonged to, chats with guys and Mistresses and 47 years of BDSM play where orgasm denial was a small part of it.

Self lockers seldom last long after the initial excitement wears off. They go as fast as they come in all forums. Those who have online Mistresses seldom last long because they want the Mistress to do chastity their way, which is basically putting them in charge, not the Mistress. Those who are into Houdini chastity trying to escape, will last as long as their money to buy new cages to escape from, lasts. The only ones, who make up a tiny percentage of chastity players that do not put their devices away to collect dust as soon as the others, are those who view chastity as something to do together with a KH sharing a common goal, whether or not part of a larger fetish. Unless you have some kind of self restraint, your odds do not look good.

Guys can pretend that they cannot get out or masturbate all they want, but without the resolve to remain chaste, it is a lot of work for the KH or in case of self lockers, not long before the realize that it is very difficult to be both warden and prisoner as you alluded to in your post. You are spot on. However, even the most submissive of men are being subjected to things because they want to. No one is ever forced into any fetish against their will legally so in the end, who has control, the sub who allows it or the domme who does what the sub allows????

 

Well I messed around with chastity for at least a year before asking my wife. She agreed. It was pretty fun for a while until she wouldn't do things my way lol. I realize now that was a mistake and am working on reconciling that. But due to health issues this year it has been put on hold. But when we start again I don't have any intentions of taking her rights away as the key holder and will follow her wishes. I do struggle with this as I am not a submissive person but I do enjoy orgasm denial.

 

It's funny but I would say at least 50% of the people locked up have a somewhat dominant or alpha personality outside of the bedroom.

Some of the kinks shared here are also tools that the keyholders themselves use to take it out of the bedroom and into daily life. Not because they particularly enjoy or are turned on by them, but because it alters behavior and changes attitude.

My kh herself instigated several things that doesn't turn her on but keeps me subbie, like Domestic service.

 

After having my wife read some stuff on chastity she said she didn't want this to affect our relationship outside the bedroom. She said she enjoys me being the man of the house and wanted to keep it that way. But hey thats what you get with a vanilla/traditional wife. She doesn't have a kinky bone in her body lol. But I'm not really an alpha or dominant. I consider myself just a regular joe.

 

The whole chastity thing is full of ambiguities. We lock - then watch porn. We lock - then try to escape. We find ways of cumming in our cages.

We lock up when our brain is clear and fresh. As soon as the padlock clicks then the hormones start to churn and we become obsessed. As the days go by the hormones build and will power evaporates. We become devious and find ways to circumvent security.

We are born to fail.

 

Vinny is right on with this observation. For me the organs control is constant but the use of a chastity device is occasional. My wife wants me to refrain from masturbation completely. Do I fail at this? - yes, once in a while - I am a man after all. I fantasize about wearing the cage all the time but it's just not practical for me as I travel frequently and I'm busy with so many obligations. So we utilize the device occasionally and it adds kink and spice that we both enjoy. For me there is a powerful effect of the symbolism. Proudly wearing it as a symbol of devotion and submission. That's fun to play with between a couple and adds loads of intimacy.