Chastity and why we do it

It was a mutual decision in our case. To boost the kinky part of our relationship.
However to be completely honest in was brought up on our very first chat - I said that I'm into chastity, and shes said she's happy as she won't have to force it on me

 

IT was something I had run across a few times and also thought it would be interesting to try. Then, on a whim I bought a CB-3000 and surprised my wife with it as an anniversary gift. It was an impromptu idea that I have no real good reason why I did it, but it has definitely been worth it. After a bit of play with it we mutually came to agree that we both enjoy it, she for the attention she gets, and me for the way it seems to heighten our sex life and make it more enjoyable even without the big O for me. The increased activity level more than makes up for the lack of completion on my side.

 

That's a big question. There are so many different motivations. I can only speak for myself.

I guess that most of us start with it becoming some part of a fantasy. The idea of someone controlling our sex. I think at this stage most of us are really thinking of it in terms as how much we want someone else to give us a fantastic T&D experience. It takes longer, and sometimes reality, before we can get past the purely selfish aspects of wanting chastity.

When I was owned, my primary motivation for chastity was to show my submission. As a sort of ultimate act of giving up control. Although a major part of the D/s relationship, chastity wasn't the central element, it was part of the natural rhythms of our lives. I wasn't in chastity because that was my desire (though that is how we first got together), I was in it because it was her desire to use it to control and train me.

Having recently got back in to a CB I now also realise I have separate chastity motivations that can exist outside such a D/s relationship. For it's own sake I can enjoy the restrictions, the frustrations and there's also some part of me that desires emasculation.

Everybody's mileage will vary. It can be useful at times to analyse why you like and do something, but sometimes it's easier to just accept that you do it because you like it.

 

because , we need it ! reg. GWENY

 

It was my fantasy to have control taken away from me, my wife went along with it. After several years we are at the stage were she enjoys the control for her own needs. I now enjoy being locked 24/7 in a metal cage, which is as secure as Practical.

 

I'm very tired for my chronic masturbation and it was my fantasy about 10 years. Now contract signed and my wife KH enjoy this situation.

 

i think in our case, my partner has often looked into different kinks, we were discussing cross dressing and sissification, and then he just said as a throw away comment, chastity, and apparently saw a fire light in my eyes. I think his masturbation was something that had been bugging him for a while, and probably more at a subconscious level was a way of him dealing with that. The chastity subject also brought up a whole discussion and load of confessions from both sides and now we both know a lot more about each other than we did previously.

 

I am 100% with you charger about the restraint thing having such an intimate part encased in steel (preferably) all the time is such an enormous turn on and the fact no-one else knows its there makes it even better

 

First off, there is really no such thing as being 'forced' into chastity. Forcing someone against their will is illegal and not the basis of any kind of relationship. We may want to feel like we are forced but in actuality, we get what we want. Let's get that clear first. No one is going to live a chastity lifestyle unless they want to. No device is 100% escape proof or will always prevent ejaculation.

I think that you will find that there are many kinds of chastity play. The ones who do it 24/7 are rare even though it may seem no so because we are focused on it in forums. I believe that most are like me and wear a device on and off as needed. After many years of BDSM play, in our old age we drifted into T&D play since we are limited by our age and medical conditions which make BDSM not practical anymore. We adapted. We use chastity with and without a device as a means to discourage masturbation which was interfering with our T&D sessions. Teasing and denial does not work well when you are masturbating every day and sometimes more when you are bored and stressed.

I only wear my device when I am home and my wife is not. That is about 15 hours a week. There is no reason to wear it at other times as there is no risk of me masturbating. Unlike me, you may find that for many it is about being under the control of their partner. I can certainly understand that due to my long history of BDSM. I am a sexual submissive but alpha male in real life who understands how good it feels to just surrender control to a woman. In my case, I love orgasms. No matter how good it feels to be aroused and denied, an orgasm always feels much better. We have learned that denying me orgasms more than a week does not make my orgasms feel any better. In fact, they feel worse as I get disinterested in sex when I wait that long. Strangely enough, the best orgasms I have are the day after I have just had one. Go figure but we are all different.

So for me, I got into chastity play as an element of our T&D play. I am not into chastity for chastity sake as I love my orgasms too much to limit them for too long. Perhaps I am not really into a chastity lifestyle, although it is part of our life to only orgasm when my wife wishes it. Does not really matter to me as we do what we like and not as others think we should do and that is how it should be for everyone.

 

We have been practicing orgasm denial and later chastity for seven years so mindset and other changes have happened as a long slow process.

My wife enjoys oral and I love giving it to her while caged so she can concentrate totally on her own orgasms. I love feeling her coming. I love lying between her legs knowing I can't penetrate her and we're simply embracing. I seem to have more energy for exercising and certainly do a lot of the cooking and cleaning!

Then there is the frustration (masochist?) aspect. I can lay in bed and feel her touching herself knowing I can't touch myself. The feeling of my penis trying to get hard at 4am is a constant source of both pleasure and desperation, sometimes I want to rip the device off, other times I enjoy the pulsing feeling. Fortunately, I've managed to train myself to go back to sleep! I enjoy her spooning me, running her hand down my chest to just above the device, then leaving it there as she falls asleep.

Chastity adds a little buzz that otherwise would be missing.

 

No one does it if it not of their own choice. Let's forget that fantasy. If I was put into anything without my consent, I would call the police or leave my partner. For us, it is just to assure my wife that I do not masturbate in-between T&D sessions. I never go longer than 10 days without an orgasm and most times more frequently than that. Doing it any longer does not provide any benefit to either of us. I treat my wife the same, with or without chastity. For us the teasing is the fetish, not the chastity. The chastity is there to heighten the teasing. Others have their own reason and that reason may even be to feel like they are forced into it.