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Chastity/ abuse?

Discussion in 'The Pedestal' started by Benni, Sep 7, 2017.

  1. New to the chastity world as you all probably now know, my boyfriend is into locking himself up, and he kept it from me until I moved in I found a device maybe once every 6 months and realized it was a part of him - So.... now I've joined in!
    Sex has been great.
    He said he wears it because he likes to be "controlled" and it turns him on.
    Question is: could this have stemmed from some kind of sexual abuse ? He doesn't know when wearing a chastity belt started , and since it's not something we are born with as humans- I'm just curious as to where it began. Also- do you guys leave your chastity belt at home when you are around your family / children ?
    Thanks for taking the time to read!
     
    Mash2214, subboy1 and tomf_22033 like this.
  2. There certainly doesn't have to be a correlation between abuse and wearing a chastity device. As for taking off my cage...I have 2 reasons to take it off. One she wants it off, two a medical reason or appointment. That's it. I don't have any activities that I can not remain locked. I am not sure what family and children have to do with wearing the cage...I don't plan on having family or children seeing me naked.:D
     
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  3. My reason for asking about family is because I suppose i still see it as a sex toy and not as a part of him ha!
    Seems like it would just be a piece of clothing or undergarment then and not like he's bringing a toy around the family
     
  4. I depends on how deep the rabbit hole you go. In my relationship its not really a sex toy. It is like a wedding ring. Others are not so serious about it. They put it on before an evening of teasing, then take it off. With my kh it was kind of all or nothing. Either she always has control or why bother. I agreed and even got pierced as a sign of my commitment to her and to chastity.

    Considering it's part of you happens over time. It's now my natural state and feel a bit odd not wearing it.
     
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  5. richard
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    richard Just me
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    When with family he isn't naked so need to take it off then.

    I imagine a lot of us who are locked have experienced strong women in our lives when growing up maybe.
    Not likely to be anything to do with abuse.
     
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  6. Or a lack of one
     
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  7. richard
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    Or something totally unrelated. Who knows. But abuse is unlikely.
     
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  8. I think chastity devices exist on the spectrum between sex toy and body modification. The longer you wear one, the more like a body modification it becomes, the higher the threshold before wearing it becomes in bad taste.

    It would be weird to put on a device just before visiting friends. However, if you have been wearing one for a year, it would probably be OK to attend a funeral while wearing it.
     
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  9. I've found that my wife/KH looks on me wearing the device as part of everyday routine when she has me locked. Therefore any trips to the shops or friends and family being locked is the norm. The exceptions at the moment tend to be visits that are linked to medical conditions or long distances. This is to avoid embarrassment should anything untoward happen.
     
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  10. i've definitely never been abused. i doubt that has anything to do with it. For me it was about submitting. Handing over control of your pleasure to someone else. Chastity has become a part of my EVERYDAY life. i wear it when i eat, sleep, work, exercise, visit friends and family. Like @Nicoftime@Nicoftime said, my cage only comes off when She wants to play with her toy, or for medical reasons.
     
    Benni likes this.
  11. I also am locked all the time. When your with family it's not like everyone is running around with their pants down ( not my family anyway). You never have any idea what kind of underwear people are wearing or if there locked or not. I've been locked around my family and other large groups of people and No was has ever noticed. I've even gone swimming while locked , i didn't wear a speedo. People don't pay nearly as much attention to the bulge in your pants as you think they do. I use to have my cage removed for medical appointments or when Mistress wanted it removed but she just informed me that it's now Permanent so maybe the next time I go to the doctor I'll have to do it while locked. I'll have to cross that bridge when I come to it.
     
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  12. Yeah. I also visit swimming pools and I even use naked the shower infront of other people but they can see only my back. Nobody has realized that my penis is locked.
     
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  14. Mistress B
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    Mistress B Mistress B
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    @Benni@Benni Have you thought of asking your boyfriend these questions ????
     
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  15. I'm curious to see what everyone else is doing- I'm new at this and a little shy- my boyfriend isn't really the social type and lacks some communication skills- but I will definitely ask him and see what he says
     
  16. Hello and welcome to the Mansion, I love your picture and the top is very hot and sexy, I think someone is going to get a lot a tease and denial. He may be getting more than he wished for. As for wearing one, curiosity killed the cat, no abuse here, I just read about one and I had to try it and the rest is history.
     
  17. no abuse but the first time I saw a cage I knew I had to be in one .if you both enjoy it that's the main thing don't over think it just enjoy owning a cock .
     
    Benni likes this.
  18. I've been to a funeral and my Wife didn't let me go without my device on. I've been in a magistrates court as a witness and wasn't allowed to go unlocked. As far as she is concerned this is a lifestyle, not a sex toy, at least not unless she says it is.

    That doesn't mean you have to do it the way my Wife does it. Some guys get teased then the keyholder gets so horny they are unlocked and allowed to have an orgasm. Some go days, some weeks and some, like me, months. It isn't a competition though, it's just whatever you want it to be.

    The best thing you can do is take the keys off of him and start experimenting. If you want him unlocked, then unlock him. If you want him to beg, let him stay locked up a few days. See what turns you on and go with it.

    As far as I am aware there is no history of sexual abuse that led to my interest in genital modification or chastity.
     
  19. Most recently, I have pledged to wear my Chastity Belt 7 days a week, 24 hours a day, every day of the year, except when my Bride may need me, or for cleaning, and that is about it. I was abused at a very young age but certainly has nothing to do with my chastity. For me and my Bride it is emerging into a fairly well defined life style that I try not to take for granted, and my Bride is enjoying and becoming more confident with every day. I have 4 kids which I wear it around and of course I wear it to work and any possible place I go.
     

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