And my job here is done.

I think your right Guy, to be on the otherside of the fence or the street teaches you both what is needed in a Sub Dom relationship.
Julie and myself were switching for a while and I saw how happy she was with her role as a Dom. Something about her changed when she changed to Dom mode. She lit up, more confident, assertive and sexy.
Like she said in a previous post we talked everything through, we know eachother very well anyway. Im sure we know eachothers limits. It just seamed the right move to do. I mean, none of us are getting any younger and hanging her by her ankles from the ceiling was taking it's toll.
Julie and me had a chat about how far I wanted to take it and I said as far as it makes you happy.
Im sure you maybe right on some FLR reationships Russ, but in our case it could not be more from the truth. I love Julie just as much today as I did when we were courting back in the 70s. What with her very long pink hair and heavy make up she certainly stood out in a crowd, and I think thats what attracted me to her. Excitingly different and confident to be so. And I feel the same way as Julie hoping there are lots more years in us to come.

 

Oh wow! That's tiny!

 

Wow that sounds like You and him are so very close and sounds like a great relationship You 2 are lucky!! Thanks for sharing

 

Hello,

Thank you for the long feedback and it's an impressive relationship over a long time, wow.
This wasn't clear after just reading the initial post.
The more I read, the more I think that I am pretty vanilla and light years away from where you are, maybe I should have started earlier ;-)
It sounds like it is beneficial to have tried out sub/dom roles before starting a FLR...
... one thing I take from every topic here is: communication seems to be key.

One question: what would happen if he has used the "safe word"? In my understanding FLR is something which I like to have 24/7 as opposite to a sub/Dom play/date.
Therefore I am a bit concerned about the dynamics which can come to play if you start this journey ... For both sides: she might recognize that she is not into this and the other side I might be unable to serve as requested.
... maybe the best approach is really to make very small steps to adapt and go this road together.
Which you all good luck and some more happy years.

Piet

 

We have one life! Enjoy it. And my goodness you certainly are having fun! It makes such a difference to be blessed with a wonderful person to share it with. And your enjoyment is causing nobody else any harm! Long may it continue!

 

@Mistress Julie
Thank you for starting such an amazing thread, and congrats to you and John on the new cage and the many years of experience together. There is a wealth of information in your words, and I think we are all grateful for that!

I have the exact same question. Obviously there is no 'one size fits all' but... I am very curious how you might answer this one? I get communication is key, and consent, but it just seems to go in opposition to the dynamic. Is the answer that there is no one answer? It is all case by case?

I guess for me anyway I find myself anticipating a level of challenge, that just never happens really. My Wife is dominant, but not excessively so, so if there is a problem we take a break.

Anyway! Thanks again!

 

... I should add that by "it"

I meant the safe word. Which, to a degree seems necessary, but also seems to limit the relationship to a bit of a fantasy in terms of actual control. If things get tough, isn't that when you grow the most? Or is that just IRL? where actual control is beyond our means?

thanks again!

 

i just saw this thread. i wished i had joined in earlier! i am in amFLR, my Queen was formerly my submissive, and about 8 years ago we realized it was not right. Being a submissive is who i am. Likewise, She is my dominant. Without communication we would have been lost. This is as important now as it was then. Regardless of a fetish or vanilla relationship, i believe that communication, acceptance of the others needs, and play keep relationships active. If i am punished, if i am rewarded, the love is identical so long as the communication keeps it relevant and shared. Divorce occurs when the paths diverge. Parallel paths can take you anywhere you mutually desire to visit. In my humble opinion of course!

 

Anyway, I am curious to know if the device has arrived yet, and is in use?

 

Communication is the answer I am looking for, which was there already... Sorry to crowd the thread

 

Thanks for updating thread. I'd not seen it before, as it was previous to my arrival here. I am always impressed at how you control your sub, with strength and love. Also if he has been wearing a flat cage for so long, must have been effective in further minimizing his 'weenie'.