I have been thinking about writing a 'journey' type blog on here for a few days. But I haven't been sure about whether I should or not as I really don't know if this will go anywhere and whether there will be actually anything interesting to add. But anyway, I decided why the hell not, so here goes. A bit about me/us My wife and I have had a great sex life, with a few threesomes thrown in. But since kids she hasn't been too much into sex at all. Her 'horny hormones' seemed to disappear when she got pregnant first time around. So for the last 5 years the reality has been alot of fantasising/masturbating on my part with sex occasionally along the way [which has always been great when it eventually happens]. With sex being a rare occurrence, I came to the belief that I needed to masturbate regularly so that when we did have sex I didn't go off too soon [and that is still a thought]. Some (but by no means all lol) my masturbating has been in bed with my wife beside me. Sometimes she has lent a hand (literally) or a mouth. And sometimes she has just watched. A recent fantasy of mine has been us getting back into a threesome situation, but rather than me being an active participant, like in our past sex life, the fantasy started out with me being naked and sitting on a chair tied up so I couldn't touch myself. The fantasy soon turned into me being in a cage while watching. I guess this is a manifestation of the need for some kinkier fantasies to get off when masturbating. Thinking about chastity/denial Anyway, the being caged fantasy led me to google male chastity and I found Chastity Mansion lol. In my original introduction on the site I mentioned that I had been thinking that I should be locked in a cage while my wife and lover are having sex [but given my comments above, that is unlikely to happen any time soon lol]. So my original thoughts about being caged were more on the kink side. Reading some of the threads on Chastity Mansion has got me interested in the benefits of orgasm denial. A realisation that there might be such a thing as too much masturbation!! Shock, horror!! Who would have thought? Not me! As sex with my wife has been seldom and random over the last 5 years there have been a few times recently when I have masturbated too close to when we actually had sex. And on those occasions I couldn't have an orgasm during intercourse with my wife. Talk about counter-productive! But at that stage I hadn't heard about orgasm denial. Looking back now, if I had known about orgasm denial those occasions might have been a good time to bring up the issue of needing a way to stop me masturbating whenever I felt like it. My wife has just gone into hospital for an operation and there will be a reasonable recovery period. So now isn't a great time to discuss these things with her. When I do eventually talk to her about it I suspect I will get a 'What's wrong with masturbating when you feel horny?' and 'I don't mind if you masturbate'. I might also get 'For fucks sake, just look after the kids will you'. To have a stab at answering the 'what's wrong with masturbating? question, my answer would be along the lines of me fantasising more and more about having threesomes again when masturbating. And I know that she isn't ready for that, and that she might never be ready for that, which is fine. But me continuing to fantasise about it while masturbating is not helpful. So it is probably better to put those thoughts away, and not masturbating might help to actually put those thoughts away. I'm not sure whether she will have any interest in stimulation and denial and things like edging, or ruining orgasms. And I'm not sure about her interest in me being caged (even is just for a stimulation/denial session) or being a key holder. At this stage I'm not quite sure what she gets out of it. And I don't want anything to be a burden on her eg thinking that she has to schedule a ruined orgasm or something for me. Once we start talking about it, I think an agreement to 'just keep your hand off it until we have a play date' might be a good place to start and see whether anything evolves with other aspects.. Starting out At the moment, I am trying denial without any devices and without my wife knowing. The only thing I have to keep me 'honest' is a ticker on Chastity Mansion with the number of days since my last orgasm. And using it to keep track of my 'personal best' - so I will update my PB in the header of the ticker as required [eg if my previous PB was 13 days and my ticker now says 15 days the header might say something like 'New personal best! Old PB was 13 days]. So far it has been 12 days and I haven't felt the urge to masturbate. A few possible reasons for the 'lack of urge' include the fact that my thoughts have been with my wife in hospital [she is fine, initial recovery from operation is good] and I have been looking after kids 24/7. So my mind has been elsewhere. Also, I haven't actually been interested in looking at porn since I decided to try to go without masturbating [which was prior to my wife going into hospital]. Not sure if that will change when I start to get horny again, but this is probably the longest I have gone with out getting horny for as long as I can remember (not that I have ever counted before). I am thinking that if I'm not masturbating and my wife isn't involved with ruining orgasms or giving me relief some wet dreams might be involved - I haven't had a wet dream in a long time lol. I'm not sure that I can trust myself to doing a ruined orgasm. I did a couple of ruined orgasms a few days after my previous orgasm, but I don't think it would be safe to try now lol. But anyway, here goes with a little bit of my record. Diary so far 29 March 2016: Last orgasm 1 April 2016: Joined Chastity Mansion. 1 April 2016: Self administered ruined orgasm (after I found out what it was lol) 2 April 2016: Self administered ruined orgasm Nothing else to report 'event' wise. Even after a few wines the other night I wasn't feeling the need to masturbate.
Day 15: Just a quick note on a dream I had last night. I dreamt that I woke up hard as hell and needing to pee. But in the dream a voice was telling me not to wank. Then I actually woke up hard as hell and needing to pee! I would normally have taken the opportunity to masturbate. But I took notice of the voice in the dream and kept my hands off it.