A Brat’s Locktober

As promised in another post I made in the pain and punishment forum, I’m going to start a journal here. I’ll give updates on whether I fail or succeed at the conditions I’ve set, and if I’ve earned any punishments. I’ll also be just be journaling about how my experience is going.

With it now being Day 5 of Locktober, I’ve finally started to figure out how I want to play this little game. This whole week, I’ve had very little trouble wearing my cage, which is great considering it’s my first cage ever. Night time erections aren’t a problem so far, if I lotion I don’t get any sore spots, and the cage overall is comfortable for a first cage with only minor issues. Only problem is I wasn’t getting quite what I wanted from the experience. My cage was doing a great at job at denying stimulation, but for me, it was a little too good at its job. I’m single, I don’t have a partner or KH to please. Chastity for me right now isn’t about denying all stimulation, but about giving me just enough stimulation to leave me frustrated and desperate. For the first three days of Locktober, I wasn’t able to accomplish this.

Day 4 comes around, and that night while I was horny and experimenting with ways around my problem, I managed to really get myself going through some grinding and humping motions. It was amazing. I could provide myself just enough pleasure to start ramping my way up, but then the pressure of the cage and the few options I had to continue stimulating myself, made it difficult to remain hard. I would get about half way before I would have to try a different movement. This went on for about ten minutes, before I decided to set myself a time limit. I gave myself another twenty minutes, so thirty in total, and if I couldn’t cum by the end, I would decide on some consequences. Hence my recent post in the pain and punishment forum that I mentioned. I failed of course, and was thoroughly frustrated. But I allowed myself to calm down and work on sleeping, instead of going for my keys. The whole time, I could only imagine how pathetic I must have looked. I don’t know if I’ll feel the same way when I try again, or if I’ll get bored and unmotivated, but I think I’ve hit a bit of a breakthrough for myself, and I’m excited to continue.

I don’t have a schedule for times or days when I’m required to edge yet, nor do I have my punishments decided. But I’ll figure those out soon, and when I do I’ll get right on teaching myself a lesson for not cumming on day 4. If anyone has ideas, feel free to let me know here or on my other post!

 

Alright, I’ve been real busy, but I’ve finally got a system I’m testing out now. Over the last couple of days I’ve racked up a couple punishments that I need to carry out on myself, and unfortunately for me, I’ve devised a plethora of options and a rolling system to keep things fresh. Over time I’ll be revising it, and it’s quite rough, but I managed to suffer through two out of three of my owed punishments, and damn was I a mess.

I found myself involuntarily whimpering, and although I’m doing it to myself, I couldn’t deny how helpless I felt. I can only imagine what it would be like if someone was doing it to me. Later I once again went about my self assigned task of trying to cum with my cage on, and as usual, I failed. Every failure to cum results in one my punishments, the goal being to further motivate me to want an orgasm, even if only to avoid a consequence. It’ll be interesting to see how I will feel at the end of the month. Will I be a desperate mess, or will I be totally fine, wondering why I put myself through all that?