100 days approaching

Hi Rob. Maybe it's best to let her decide. Because you made a choice in giving her they keys. You should just focus on it this way. If an orgasm gives her pleasure, then she's getting pleasure. If she decides not to give you an orgasm then she's getting pleasure.
It's about your keyholders pleasure and enjoying that pleasure and seeking your own pleasure from Her pleasure.

 

I've had the same sort of feelings. Once you reach a large amount of days without an orgasm, having one is, mentally, an awful let down. However, as you rightly say, it is up to your KH. I have found that this is the tough part because you really are giving up control...especially if you don't want to do it.

My KH prefers ruined orgasms. I find a ruined one serves two purposes. She can order me to have one but, at the same time, deny me any real pleasure.

Still, after all is said and done, she makes the rules when she owns the cock.

 

Yes let her decide.

 

It's ultimately her decision. You gave her the keys to control you so she has every right to do with you as she pleases. But, then again, it's also somewhat of a two way street.

My wife has always loved me performing oral sex on her more than vaginal penetration so chastity was the perfect solution for us. She literally could go the rest of her life without me inside her and wouldn't miss it a bit. It didn't take her long to realize that I enjoy her teasing and denial far more than orgasming. She loved how my personality became more alive when denied and my adoration grew for her. In the begining, on the occasion she allowed me to orgasm, she noticed my let down and how I reverted back to my old ways until the arousal built again. Things slowly progressed to only rare extremely ruined orgasms for me. No spurting or pulsing, just oozing a tiny bit of semen. We both made the decision about a year ago that I will be denied any kind of orgasm, ruined or not, for good. It has been amazing. I still get teased and denied like crazy though. We and I myself, are/am having the best sex of our lives now without my orgasm. My loving wife understands how my not orgasming is the ultimate sexual pleasure she can give me and in return, she is getting her ultimate sexual and non-sexual everyday life desire.

So, maybe you should have an open discussion with her. Remember 2 way street? Let her know how you feel and how you feel about her and honestly let her know why you feel the need not to orgasm and how in no way does not coming for her make you desire her less when in fact it makes you desire her more. Just remember it isn't just about the orgasm and it isn't just about how long you go without one. It's about how your relationship grows because of it.

 

My

Rob
She is correct in that she decides not you.
In my relationship my keyholder/wife knows that this is all about her. My needs are secondary and I will do as she says no matter what.
Like you I want to make love to my wife but since we signed our contract 1/25/2015 it has happened only once and she came not me. I am completely OK with that. If she would have told me to cum I would have because I would have known that she wanted it.
She is in charge.

 

After certain duration you are so used to be locked, that you don't wish a release
Because it suddenly changes all your routine and the dynamics of chastity!
Unlocking again, playing, having ruined orgasm, locking again - and then spending a lot of time remembering that event!
It's frustrating!

 

Totally agree @Sunny except I don't comprehend everything in your next to last sentence.

I read "Unlocking again, playing, having ????, (What were those 2 words?), locking again - and then spending a lot of time remembering that event!"

And yes it is frustrating, but in the most tantalizing aching way.

 

I'm so in line with @chastingfun on this one. Ultimately her decision - but also a two way street....
In my utter horniness I tend to jump to the "auto pilot answer", that she are to get whatever she wants from me. Anything!!!! - and there will be no hesitation!

But when I think of it, - I still think that this lifestyle from time to time needs a helping hand - to unfold into its full potential. We need to communicate the changes within ourselves - over time - to one another - to reach the full potential of this lifestyle. She has no chance to fully understand what a long term denial does to You, - she needs to bee told and educated, to be able to fine tune the relationship to her pleasing...
By naming her "the master" does not mean that she has taken all the classes on this lifestyle.

She is likely to discover some hidden treasures, once she is getting inspired from your input and behavior... Even females has old habits, and perceptions... that could do with some renovations from time to time;-)

I think it is a great way of celebrating her, to enlighten her about the inner-dynamics of longterm denial. That is not topping, that is love and kindness.. Ultimately she decides, - but enlighten the options, for her to enjoy!

And may I add: Guys please let her know that she can have ALL the joys - and more from your( sorry hers) throbbing cock - still. All You have to do is to develop enough self-control to endure the attention without failing. Do that for her!- that is indeed a gesture of gigantic proportions, and nails her leadership, your surrender- and your embrace of the perfect ejaculation denial!

Time to hit the sack. Tonight there was no penetration required. She just wanted her "sleeping pill". A rather wet one I would have to say. So I had to bring her a towel afterwards. She wanted to go to sleep right afterwards, so I had to live without the wonderful clean-up act tonight...

Ohh. Yeahhh, she decides for sure Never doubt it!

 

You could always, if asked what you'd like for your birthday, ask for another month.. or whatever.... of denial.

Or even tell her how much you have enjoyed this trial period of chastity and how you would like to stop the trial and really go for it because and then tell her all the ways being kept locked and denied makes you feel about her, appreciate all she does for you and how it makes you want to do things for her and that will please her. Tell her how much closer to her it makes you feel.

Stress that you hate that flat feeling you get after an orgasm, (or even ejaculation it thats all you get) and you know how inattentaive you get and that it makes you feel very guilty etc and point out all the negative things you can think of about having a release and how long it takes you to feel right again.

You have to try to get across to her how much it is about her and your feelings for her and that although you enjoy being locked and denied you need it to be all about her and her needs and her wants and her pleasure.... and you need to mean it because once she gets into it you will not be getting release anywhere near as often.

Adele and I used to live some miles apart and did not see each other more than 3 or 4 times a month, we comunicated by phone every night and several mutually horny texts during the day and evening. When we first started with chastity she let the denial period steadily build up to a month then it just stayed there. Following one weekend when she had let me orgasm as few times I had gone home and I rang her that night as usual. The next dayi sent one text and rang her that night the same the next day. She asled me what was wrong and why I was not texting so much I told her I was sorry and had not realised and was just feeling a bit flat after the excitement of the weekend. I continued in much the same way till we met up again 2 weeks later by which time all was back to normal. Adele had been doing some reading and explained to me about the changes in hormones etc that had kappened when she had let me come that hadleft me feeling inattentive unserpocive and 'FLAT' As a consequnce she was going to make sure that it did not get chance to happen again for some time or anywhere near as frequently. She asked me how long I thought I could go without coming and I said probably 8 weeks. she pushed me a bit and finally I said well ok maybe 10 and she asked in a voice I could never resist if I would try for 12 weeks. Of course I agreed. Ok she said 3 months then. I said thats another week but ok. Right she said I've read that for your first proper lock up you should be completely denied for double whatever you think you can do. So 6 months it is. I only said but and she said and thats another month for arguing.

That was the start of my first proper lock up and the frst time she had really taken control. I had manipulated her into it and be careful what you wish for is sound advice. When I had been in for 2 months I thanked her for keeping me locked and denied so long and I both admitted and apologised for my slight deceit and told her all the reasons why I wanted to be locked for longer. She told me she had already realised that I had manipulated her a little into keeping me locked longer but as she was enjoying it so much she had forgiven me and now she felt that she had to admit something to me but as I had admitted it and apologised as well she was only going to keep me in for 9 months instead of the 12 she had secretly planned...she did add some more time on and take some off for good behaviour I did end up doing nearly 8 months. She made me one promise that she did keep and that was that I would never know again when I was getting out never mind getting a release.

So whilst I would never advocate not being truthful with your partner at all times that small deceit did work out for us both.