Advice needed

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by Winged_Aviator, Jan 12, 2020.

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  1. Winged_Aviator
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    Hello all,

    My wife and I have been into kinky sex from the beginning of our relationship 8 years ago. Bondage, encasement, latex and chastity play. And chastity play, is as far as it has ever gotten. any time I ask to be released, she allows it. I've found a cage that is inescapable, and comfortable enough to wear long term, and open enough to maintain good hygiene without the need to remove it. About 2 weeks ago I gave her the keys, and didn't feel the need to ask to be unlocked. 5 days later she unlocked me to have sex, which I have no complaints towards.

    What I'm asking advice for, is how may I get to a point where she doesn't allow release on my terms, but only her own? Ideally, I would like to be locked anytime she is not using it.

    We've had talks, written up contracts etc to make it more serious, but it never holds. I'm currently locked. Should I just continue like last time and wait for her to release me, then lock back up and wait again? Would this eventually lead to her being more strict about my release?

    I'm into the kind of bondage, that when I want out, I want to be denied, even if it's not perceived that way by either side. I want to be forced into what I originally wanted, after I may have changed my mind. Essentially, I want what I wished for, and to realize what that actually means.
     
  2. HisFreakySide
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    HisFreakySide Long term member

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    You could try not asking for a release unless you really mean it. I imagine that has to be really confusing for her, especially if she's not into begging or denial. Have another talk, establish that you're serious about this, and let her know how much enforced chastity would mean to you.
     
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  3. Winged_Aviator
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    Now that I'm in a device that's not causing a ton of discomfort/ pain at night, I don't have an excuse to ask to be let out. I'll have a talk with her again and say my part. I just don't want her to feel like I'm asking too much of her.
     
  4. MissyB
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    MissyB Long term member

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    Sounds like you should lock up after she is done with you and stay that way until she wants you again.
     
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  5. Winged_Aviator
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    Of course. I would just like to get to a point where I don't have a say in the matter. We will discuss this, this evening.
     
  6. madams-sissysub
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    agree with this, and also agree you sho d just talk to her and tell her exactly what to you want.
     
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  7. Winged_Aviator
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    So we had the discussion and she said if I'm sure this is what I want that we could give it a test run for a couple months, and if we're both willing to continue after that, then I will be locked 24/7/365 except when she wants me. I guess I'll be on my best behavior :)
     
  8. Elephantdonkey
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    Elephantdonkey Active member

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    Try some games of chance! Maybe dice games or flipping a quarter works for us! Course she makes the rules in the odds are always stacked against me! It's kind of fun in that way neither of you have to take responsibility for you staying locked! Who knows maybe you'll get lucky! And you get to be called a loser at the same time which is fun!
     
  9. Tom Allen
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    Tom Allen Member

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  10. Winged_Aviator
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  11. Jessica Alexander
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    Jessica Alexander Trans woman not a mistress or Dom

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    Put a $100 bill on the fridge and tell her the first one that asks for the key loses the money and can be spent however the winner chooses. Add $20 each week to the pot to keep things going.
     
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  12. Tom Allen
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    Tom Allen Member

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    Wow, that's a pretty cool idea.

    Reminds me of a Seinfeld episode, only better.
     
  13. Leolocked
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    Leolocked Active member

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    Cool idea but it also mean that this is not FLR as she may feel she wants sex but looses the money for having what she is entitled to both you and your money however she wants to use it.
     
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  14. Jessica Alexander
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    Jessica Alexander Trans woman not a mistress or Dom

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    They are just starting out with chastity and getting her comfortable with denying him. FLRs only work when the woman is comfortable enough to take charge and does so. It’s a process that evolves To a FLR and even then a FLR is not guaranteed unless she really has a dominant side to her.
     
  15. rubbermark
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    rubbermark Active member

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    Talking to her about it is definitely the best way to go for long term sustainability of your relationship.

    if you both want ideas how to start this journey then the suggestions of a game of chance are really good intros to defining longer periods of lockup outside of your control. As an example a couple of years ago I was given the chance to flip a coin, best of three. Heads I got to cum, tails I had to stay locked for three more weeks. I lost the flip and I’ve been locked up with no orgasm ever since! Goes to show how a gateway can lead to much bigger things.
     
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