Ruined orgasm — help please to make it real.

My wife became very good at ruined orgasms. She would gradually build the edging up, carefully monitoring the signs of impending orgasm. Once she knew it was close, she’d stroke a few times then pause, watching my reaction. With practice and careful timing, she knew how to stop perfectly so that she would stop stroking and there would be the longest, most agonizing time in which I knew I was past the point of no return but there would be no more pleasurable stroking. Several seconds after her last stroke, the inevitable ejaculation would spurt out frustratingly with none of the usual good feelings.

As you mentioned, she would often do it while I was tied up so I would have no influence on what she was doing and no ability to prevent it. Additionally, because there was no full orgasm or refractory period, she could give me a moment of rest then go right back at it to extract one more or several more ruined orgasms. I’m not sure what the record was but I do remember suffering through somewhere around 5 or 6 ruined orgasms with a huge puddle of wasted cum on my stomach, begging her to stop because I was so drained and exhausted.

 

She found that the key is stopping at the earliest possible moment, keeping as much time between the final stroke and the inevitable and agonizing ejaculation. She would build up the pressure with lots of edging leading up to it, while always carefully monitoring my signs to prevent an unintended release. This method allows for the full horniness to remain with no refractory period. The strangest irony is, after the first ruined orgasm, she would begin again after a few moments. My body would eagerly embrace the edging, despite the futility of knowing it would only result in yet another frustrating ruin. By the second or third ruin, the lube she’d been using would largely be replaced by a frothy, slick mixture of my wasted cum. On a few occasions, she gave me permission to attempt to get a full orgasm, knowing that ability was completely removed from me and I’d be humiliated by trying to recover what was taken from me.

 

Here are a couple of blog posts I wrote about it some years ago now:

https://srbdsm.blogspot.com/

As true today as it's ever been!

 

There is no need to be concerned.

If you are basically healthy and take a shit every day or so, then each time you go for a dump your prostate gets a little massage from the passing poop.

Also, your body is quite capable of taking matters into it's own hands, if it needs it.

 

As far as prostate health: There is not solid proof that lack of orgasm causes poor prostate health. There are studies that look at men that have prostate cancer compared to men without and one of the statistical differences between the two groups is that those without cancer did report having more orgasms than those with cancer reported. This is an association not causative and doesn’t answer why then it is possible that a man with prostate cancer to have reported more orgasms than a man without prostate cancer. The list of risk factors doesn’t include infrequent orgasms.

As far as ruined orgasms: Essentially you need to stimulate up to the point of reaching orgasm but not ever reach the point of having an orgasm. This point is easily crossed and that’s why you see many recommendations about frequent stopping of stimulation and resuming once it is apparent it hasn’t been crossed. Disregard what you see in porn and realize what you’re hoping to achieve is the release of fluid while minimizing (or eliminating) the strong prostatic contractions that occur with ejaculation. The ejaculation is caused by the release of oxytocin and you want to minimize the amount of oxytocin that is released from stimulation. The best way to describe the “perfectly ruined orgasm” would be that the fluid releases by oozing out rather than spurting out. You will be helpful to your wife in this process in the beginning but she needs to be the ultimate expert in observation as she gets more experience. It would be better to sneak up on it and stop too early 100 times than rush past it once.

 

Extremely well said! Even the most observant KH could possibly misread the body signs and blow right past the signals that the point of no return has approached. This slow building will allow her to better monitor the progress and, worst case scenario, stop too early then resume. If anything, that allows the inevitable crash to be that much more tormenting.

 

Not much to add as others have summed up ruins perfectly.
I’m to the point now where I crave the ruined orgasm much more than a full. We’re on a routine of every three weeks for a ruin, and trying for two month intervals for a full orgasm. And unless it’s a very special occasion, any orgasm is granted by handjob now, I’ve noticed a big difference in sub drop between getting to cum by piv and handjob. I experience basically zero drop even after two orgasms in a day (birthday, anniversary) and ruins just leave me exhausted from all the edging and just as horny or even hornier the next day.

 

You should also give milking a try, it might take her a while to get it just right. Once she finds her groove, she can have you dripping everything out and you feel no release.

 

This is about where I am! I had a ruined orgasm (unintentional) earlier this week that left me incredibly horny the next day. It's only amped up more since then, with more teasing.

I have to tell her when I'm getting close and am not allowed to cum unless she says so. When I get close she stops, and a few times I've overshot what I thought I could stand and ended up with ruins. I do my best to not disobey, I want to maintain the horny energy as much as she wants me to.

If she decides to master this skill and realizes the power it has, I am in trouble. Especially if she ruins and stops. If she keeps going after the ruin I can at least get some stimulation to feel past the built up explosive energy from the aborted orgasm.