What constitutes a good submissive?

I can only speak for me, but I am not a 24/7 slave.

When in normal settings I am me, I am a little cocky, tease her when she says something funny, and in general am my normal self. She likes who I am, I make her laugh and to be honest she doesn't want a 24/7 yes ma'am subbie at her feet. We are friends and lovers and just because I give myself to her doesn't mean I can't be myself.

That being said, she keeps track. Smart ass remarks, being cheeky, cockiness around her...all get remembered and will be reminded of them at the spanking bench when she feels I've warranted enough punishment for a session.

It's all very playful yet serious. She'll wink at me and say ohh ok that's a few. It's all how far she would like to take it. If your kh wants zero back talk and really wants to cure you of it, it would not be a fun session and you would learn to control your outbursts. We are not that into changing my personality into a mindless follower so my punishments are more reminders of who is in charge.

That's just us though, others on here looks like they walk on eggshells, bowing, with nary a word to say except yes ma'am.

 

I am always submissive even though Elle isn't always domineering. We talked about it tonight. She is uncomfortable ordering me about, she was brought up to say please and thank you. We have agreed that she says 'J, go and get me a drink please' and I hear her make a demand, just a very polite one.

 

Patience is what makes this work, rush ahead and you will fail, you need to hit the road walking, not running IMHO

 

The truly submissive creature is a rare thing and most submissives are only in that zone a certain amount of time. The same can be said for the dominant. If you are submissive most of the time then your fate is sealed.

 

Hi, sounds like a fun and play relationship, keep having fun.

 

What a great thread and completely 'get' where everyone is coming from. Like most that have posted on here I am submissive to my wife pretty much all the time now. Not overtly, as in bowed before her feet with no eye contact but in the fact that I am constantly trying to make sure here needs are met before mine. Just like LockedWithLove I now do things I was previously too lazy to bother with previously and try to never argue if she says to do something.

My wife is not extreme in her domination - in fact, it is so subtle if you blinked you could miss it! Her domination and control is increasing, in ever more subtle ways and seeing her face when she feels the control and power makes the whole journey worthwhile.

As Ti has said, it's a marathon not a sprint. I have made the mistake of trying to move things along too quick in the past and have learnt harsh lessons it really is all about her and she will move along at the pace she feels comfortable with.

Like LockedWithLove I would love my wife to discipline me when I get out of line but, at the end of the day, she'll only do that if she feels comfortable in that role.

Meanwhile, I will simply enjoy being in her thrall and trying to be a better husband and lover than in the past.

 

My wife's girlfriend sexually dominated me. In real life I am an alpha male so I use submissive as a stress reliever and also helps out with my depression problems. I have had a few women dominate me starting at the age of 19 when I was cuckolded, humiliated and dominated by my then girlfriend. Not much more humiliating than having your girlfriend ask you three best friends to gang bang her while you are sitting there watching a football game with them.

After that I had a few others for short periods of time and then my wife had her girlfriend move in with us so they could be together more often. I was told that I am a good sub because of two things. My limits are nothing that requires medical attention. I can also orgasm from pain at times.
I would not make a good 24/7 sub because I was the dominant one our relationship and would not give that up for anyone. However, sexually I am a great sub since you can do just about anything to me. I also like sexual humiliation and all of the fetishes out there that I have found, even the yucky ones. I have had two girls tell me that they wanted to try something but never found a sub willing to let them do it. Lucky me.