Thought I would ask for a little help For a long time I have struggled quite a bit with this keeping him ( @BlueEyes ) on indefinitely denial. What would the side effect be? Would I miss out on something. Well, this time I have kept him in denial for 6-7 weeks now, and I begin to feel confident that I might will be able to pull this one off. No unpleasant side effect so far. Just fantastic service in and out of bed. He seems sooooo satisfied, and yet so turned on. I have ordered him to buy a new device that I have started to put on him, from time to time, So I can tease him more when I feel like it. The tube that he wears most of the time does not allow teasing that much. However I prefer him in the tube most of the time. Not that I am afraid that he would start to cheat and stimulate himself. I really do not think that he dares - and I even doubt that he has the desire. He knows that it is mine. But the new devive is not escape proof, so it can only be used for play. I missed out on penetration at first, but now I order him to penetrate almost every time he handles me, and I enjoy tremendously the power I feel when I order him not to cum, and yet demands penetration for quit a while. When I push him off, and demand him to finish me of with his tongue, I really feel the benefits of this lifestyle, and I do not feel sorry for him. It surprised me at first. Deep down I know that this is also his wish - but of course I can see his sweet frustration. Yet, he seems satisfied just to be close, to do me and to do me chores and stuff. He trembles when I "go", a lot in fact With my juices all over his face, he is just one big smile, and thanks me again and again. I wonder if I'm just lucky that he handles the denial so well? I also wonder if the total lack of guilt is common once you really get into this role of being in charge. I do not want to turn into a bitch with no compassion;-). After all , he was the one who started this to overcome his too heavy play with him self. But I must admit, that he is pushing my limits, onto more and more control, tease and denial, and less compassion. Or am I doing that myself- hi-hi? I am quite satisfied where we are right now, and I would like to hear from others , how they have experienced long term effects. Is it a constant slide towards more and more, or do you manage to keep it at a certain level, and be satisfied with that? Some seems to have the opinion that it will be unhealthy not to allow him to cum for extended time, but others seems to disagree, saying that his body adapts and consume his "production". I do not feel like "milking" either. Maybe I am being too selfish, when I want to keep him on his toes all the time. hi.hi
Soooo much could be said in response to this post! I look forward to reading it all too! Seems like you are both enjoying it mutually.... no topping from the bottom so-to-speak!!! If that's so, you are indeed a very lucky couple and that's great!!! The milking thing is somewhat up for debate... If you don't want to do it make him do it himself in front of you..... Or how about some electro stimulation whilst still in his cage..... I can imagine one squirming and leaking without the orgasmic feeling..... hmmmmm. Oh wait! There I go again!!!! With the absolute kindest regards. J.
Thanks for the great story. I don't think it has to be more and more. But probably, most couples start slowly as they are a little frightened, and then go deeper and deeper into their fantasy. We don't really go any further my wife and I. She has moment where she is just your regular girly girl. She enjoys a classic BF, with somewhat regular sex. Then suddenly she becomes more masculine and dominant, and doesn't want to be fucked anymore. That's when she calls me and lock me up. And I remain locked 24/7 until the dynamic reverts back, sometimes after a few weeks, sometimes after a couple of months. But no real evolution. The only thing that has changed his her sexual expression while she has me locked. She wasn't really understanding or expressing her masculine sexuality in those periods at first. She would just tease me a bit to keep me alive and also play with me as we were a bit SM at the time. Then she started asking me to touch her, go down on her... Then more and more each time. She had a GF recently so she bought a harness, a "Share" and a "Feeldoe". It wasn't long before she came in my room one night, wearing her "Share", and commanded me to turn around. Just a few minutes later, I was squeaking like a girl I was really surprised as it is something I thought she would never do. She mentioned before that she was scared she might lose attraction and respect for a man if she did him. But she came really hard, and we both loved each other even more for it.
Dear DRE, You may find that premature ejaculation becomes a side effect. This is quite a common occurrence for those keeping their men denied for long periods. If you enjoy Penetrative sex with him then this is where you can "miss out" so you may want to consider that possibility. You might find that your ordering him "not to come" begins not work at all. Having said that, the condition is reversible. You'll find that after having penetrative sex with him on a regular basis he will return to normal. At least that's been my experience. Lol, a "total lack of guilt" is actually not so common, you are lucky not to suffer from any guilt. So many keyholders do and it can be the downfall of what could be a perfect situation for both. Oh and don't worry about any "Health effects" associated with his denial. His body will deal with any excess production of fluids which don't get expelled. You go ahead and keep him on his toes. It's perfectly safe.
Hi-hi - it can hardly be premature if it is hardly ever to be @BlueEyes has great self control, and so far hasn't disappointed me. I don't really know how he handles it, but he seems to be able to separate from his sex - in his mind of course;-). @Mascara^Snake we shall see if he looses some of that ability along the way. I would however be missing penetration - under my command if he ever is to loose that self control. He is in no way small down there, so it seems to be a waste not to take use of it. And after i ordered him never to take off the base ring he is certainly not to be overlook down there when he is erect. I find teasing an feeling all hard cock the best. But I would like to think that he hardly ever comes and only if I have given permission. About the "no guilt" - i think it could be partly because he has mande it very clear yo me in so many ways that this is what he likes,....... until he regrets in the heat of the action ;-) - but I still say no. When he calms down he always thanks me for having denied him again
Ms Amanda, I haven't notice it made me a premature ejaculator past the 2 first intercourse. It gets back to normal quickly. Now if you keep me locked and release me just once a month for penetrative sex, then it wont last more than two minutes at best In that sense, I guess we can say that it would make me a premature ejaculator.
I'm sorry Ms. I thought I understood it took a little while for him to be back to normal. I guess my Frenchness got in the way of my understanding
It can take a little while yes. It depends on the on the individual also length of time he's been denied.
Well, I think the penetration sessions last no longer than 5 minutes, but that is also very satisfying. To go longer I have to stop for a while and continue minutes later again. But once he is in agony I push him down. Only once did he go - all by himself - no touching - after I had him started to go down on me. He just popped, just like that but was sooooo sorry;-) He has not done that ever since. He seems to have regained control over that as well, and seems to get all of his satisfaction from participating in my pleasure. So far I have not have the need to think about what consequences it should have if he cums again without permission. Any clever suggestions? ( please do not suggest heavy punishment - I'm not into that!, rather some more sophisticated stuff, thank You! )
Spontaneous "popping" that can happen during a long lock up when he is pleasuring you and yes even without touching him there. I've found that it can also happen sometimes when you're withdrawing the cage after unlocking him. You might find this happening now that you're using a cage with an insert. I think it's actually quite sexy and I don't need to punish or berate him for it. He does that himself. By the way, I emailed you a trick you can use to make penetrative sex last as long as you like .. ;-)
It's very true this! @DREWife - I have been denied with no orgasm for 5-6 weeks and was doing very well, even penetrative sex without numbing cream worked and then last night while @Mistress Deborah was teasing me and playing with me and talking to me, and with no contact my body came - it was not an enjoyable orgasm just like it decided to leak. This leaves me very fustrated - but Mistress dealt with it by putting me straight back in 3 nappies, locking mitts and a dummy gaffer tapped in my mouth, sort of put me in my place (and quite rightly). And then was given another orgasm this morning, but I have never been an orgasm lover - and like blueeyes my self control is usual pretty good! Regards Lucy x
I don't want to punish him either, but some sophisticated way of keeping him hard for my pleasure longer would be fine... Thanks for the tip, will look more into it when I'm home from office
@DREWife not so much punishment. Mistress Deborah did this to me Saturday night and I had such a hard on in my nappy I nearly exploded so all Mistress was doing was being consistent. She knows that after coming I get grumpy and may be not the best sub. So she was ensuring that I still know my place! Regards Lucy x
We have moved to the point where my only orgasms are accidental/involuntary ones, similar to those described by others. These occur about every 6-8 weeks, and are never due to my wife touching my penis as she never does (partly because she knows what might happen and partly as a domme thing). Apart from that there is no schedule for release. My wife is demanding of oral worship but not interested in penetration, so that area is not a problem. Last weekend after a 1/2 hour of tongue action I came up for air and was told not to stop! The final orgasms were described as ``very good, especially as I don't have to worry about you.'' So not much guilt there! She also quite enjoys my spontaneous dripping and commented about the large wet patch on the bed recently. When I came out the shower a little while ago my penis starting dripping like a leaking tap! That's the most significant physical effect on me. I think we both enjoy the psychological side too, and wouldn't find it easy to go back.
I have fairly good restraint as well. We practice denial (caged or uncaged, as I don't seek orgasm without her) for weeks sometimes (which is long for us). As time goes on, I get more and more sensitive...we do use numbing cream/condoms towards the middle of our monthly "sessions" and it has worked very well for us. She ultimately cannot cum unless she is riding a cock, and so to satisfy her I will "numb up" and pound away until she gushes. Sex for us in this way during the denial period is about 2 times a day, 3 to 4 days a week so we are frequently "at it" (I work from home, so there is ample opportunity to drop my pants for her on a dime). My wife worries about many of the same things (it not being good to not cum frequently, or causing spontaneous orgasms) but thus far (over a year now) no issues. If we don't use numbing cream, I have to be on top, as I can be in control of the rhythm better that way (especially in week 3+)...if I cum (which I'll admit I have, rare as it is) without permission the punishment is the orgasm in and of itself. I love "riding the edge" and the post orgasm let down, along with starting the stimulation peak all over again, is enough to make me very down/unhappy. The best thing is she doesn't have to really do a thing...I fight my orgasm every step of the way because I love the way it feels to be hard, balls hanging and full, and ready to please her without notice.
You all seem to have such a good connection in your relationships when pursuing this lifestyle. I get the feeling my gf is doing it for me, to fulfill my fantasy, not hers. I get the feeling she will never get to this level of "true commitment"... Maybe this is just because we are going through turbulent times... Love this thread, I wish I could contribute...
Mrs. Lion is my KH because she knows I want it. Over the last months she has taken more ownership of my chastity, but like in BDSM, most of what the top (KH) does is work. The pleasure comes from other things. Don't discount the value to both of you to have your partner do all this because she knows you want it. What a great gift! I am eternally grateful to Mrs. Lion for adopting this to make me happy.
My wife was hesitant at first and half on the fence half off. We've been together for twenty years so we had a fairly strong foundation...and there were still concerns and issues at the outset. It took time...but she became more enthusiastic as she accepted the fact that I didn't want her to "let" me orgasm, and that it was in fact even hotter not to especially when I could bring her to orgasm instead. We reviewed a lot of material/read a lot including tantric sex and orgasm guides/etc...and ultimately she "settled in" to owning my orgasms and it being ok for her to get a positive out of it. She now sees that I am devoted to her pleasure like never before and she gets a lot of fantasies fulfilled that I didn't even know she had, and I am completely happy in my denied state. Reading between the lines...it takes a ton of communication, open and honest, and time to get both committed to something like this in my humble opinion. And it can get screwed up in a heartbeat....but...if you can maintain it, as many know here, the erotic high you both get out of it is unlike anything else. Tentative, delicate, harsh sometimes, but wow...it can be hot. Hang in there.