Is It an FLR, Femdom or D/s Relationship?

I thought that d/s was just more general thanl femdom and flr.

 

I am definitely in a full time FLR, but I'm not sure that it is always D/s. I am definitely the sub, and Elle is sometimes Dominant, and what she says always goes, but I wouldn't go as far as saying our relationship is D/s. Sometimes our play is and it is awesome. I think I am always submissive though, because I want to be, and because I have learnt that Elle is an excellent leader. I like the way my submissiveness supports her and makes her happy.

We recently filled in the questionnaire in Mistress Ivey Green's "How to set up an FLR" and it identified our relationship as a mix of democratic and shipboard style. This basically means that all of the big decisions are Elle's but she does listen to me and, if I have a good idea, she will go with that. We definitely aren't in a cooperative where all decisions are equal and neither are we in a Dictatorship. Elle wants me to think for myself, the idea of micromanaging me is not one that she would want. And my ideas are as likely to be brilliant as they are awful, so the idea of letting me have an equal partnership is also not one she would allow.

It is an interesting question, to try and define what the difference is between an FLR and D/s. I am not sure I am experienced enough to manage it, but I would love to have a discussion about it in real life.

 

well i'm a maid so i put in FLR. i hope that's right.

 

I put down vanilla but what I think we are is broad-spectrum kinky

 

After today definitely 1,2 & 3

 

I am definitely in a FLR. Sure there are femdom parts includes, but yes .... its a FLR.

In my opinion there is not only existing "the difference" between your poll choices, but a lot of nuances of femdom, vanilla stuff, BDSM......
To me a FLR is characterised by consisting mainly everydays things, non sexual worshiping of the Mistress and secondary the sexual content.
Femdom and D/S are much more into sexual things. But sure there is no hard border.

 

I would say sexually we know and practice a D/s role, we dabble in bdsm, that features heavily in fem/dom. Outside the bedroom we are aspiring for a FLR, but with restrictions that are not classic with the term.

Restrictions: Although giving, will not give up my financial freedom. I am a father first and his needs come first always. When we buy a home together I want 1. control and design of kitchen. 2. control and design of garage/bar

Have agreed to discipline for behavior modification, not playful but real punishment, and how far she wants to take it is up to her. She also knows, I am who I am, submissive sexually I am naturally not submissive in other areas and will never be a groveling mess...well not all the time anyway lol.

 

It's hard to say which exactly would describe the relationship my mistress and I have right now. It's really a little bit of all of them. When I originally asked my mistress to put me in chastity, I asked for a combination of chastity, FLR and female domination without really knowing what I was asking for. We've been playing and having fun just figuring out exactly what we're doing. I know my mistress like joys all the aspects of our play and the level of control she has gained.

 

This one is tricky. As life gets in the way and then I get too stressed as does Mistress and at which point it all goes wrong and then vanilla life becomes the normal.
Hugs
Lucy
PS locked again after a long time out!

 

I think the difference between the two can vary among each couples definition of the terms. In our case, the Mrs. has always been very dominant in all aspects of our marriage and married life. Since she has, for a very long time lacked marital "intimacy" and since I have tried to adjust to it, submitting to any behavior that may give me that feeling of intimacy I so much desire, I'd have to conclude that our relationship is definitely Domme/sub. In FLR's I believe that the element of intimacy is not only prevalent, but perhaps even moreso than in vanilla marriages (or relationships). Thus, I would conclude in my mind that an FLR has an element, perhaps even a strong element of intimacy while a D/s relationship lacks tenderness and intimacy.

 

Couldn't be further from the truth here after nearly 28 years of marriage, but like you say no two relationships are alike.

 

I am not sure what box to tick. I don't even like the idea of being defined.

 

Perhaps all the polls need a final box saying; "all or none of the above".
Rita

 

None of the above for me. What we do is very likely similar to some, but even then it'll have it's own twists and quirks.

Certainly I'm submissive sexually to Wonderful, and in many other areas also, but we have a relationship of equals on the whole.
There are many things that I do for her, but likewise there are many things she does for me - as each of us have our own skill-sets, and we tend to play to them on the whole, unless one of us is pigged off with "Always doing the Xyz" in which case we either have a row or discuss it like adults. Or maybe like big children.
That sounds pretty vanilla really, but there's no way you would describe us as vanilla if you knew us both (or knew what we got up to in the sack).

Jules - if you'd like more categories adding to the poll I'm happy to assist.

 

It's some what confusing whilst I am naturally submissive in our sexual relationship I would say FLR. As D/s or Femdom relationships we [my wife and I] tend to believe relates more to the BDSM scene.

 

Well that cleared that up then.

 

I have always defined my relationship with my husband as complete FLR. Meaning that I am in control of everything: financial, sexual and otherwise. I make the decisions and he abides by them. I make sure things run smoothly by managing his tasks and routines. He wears a chastity belt because it reinforces my control and provides a simple method of reward and punishment, meaning that it ensures that he is motivated and disciplined.
So I define FLR as a way of life, whereas I think of femdom and D/S as terms that are more related to sex. I am a female and dominant and he is submissive, but the sexual component of our relationship is only one component, not the principal one. Obviously my being the boss and him being locked means that sex I initiate sex, and that his needs are not met in the traditional male fashion, but I think of femdom and D/S as being focused on kinkiness and on "scenes", which really is not what our sex life is like. Of course the fact is that I sometimes peg him and that most sexual activity consists of him being on his knees pleasuring. But I characterize our relationship as FLR, meaning that my control is comprehensive and absolute, not focused on the sexual aspect.
Do others agree with this definition? this was a great question because I think sometimes the three terms are used interchangeably, even I am not sure exactly what is meant by each.

 

Our relationship is FLR. It is both practical and erotic and I think once a strong foundation has been set both of those virtues will flourish seemingly of their own accord and often at the same time and it seems to transform into a FLR almost under its own power. Although it's a 3-way relationship neither of her two boys are strictly speaking cuckolds, or at least not in the way I've come to understand the word. It's not a 3-way sexual relationship, the three of us have never slept together let alone made love. She is a woman who enjoys having two boyfriends in her life and somehow we've all become quite comfortable with that idea. The relationships are kept quite separate, partly due to different work commitments that all three of us have, although we all enjoy going out to dinner and/or a movie once in a while. She does have the option of having a third lover any time she chooses, either long term or short, although she hasn't yet done so. I suppose her two boys have the option of remaining completely faithful to her or opting out of the relationship. So far we've elected to stay.

We're all advocates for a higher level of female leadership in all areas of life, not just domestic - particularly in business and world politics - so the term FLR has a much wider meaning than me simply deferring to her preferences, not interrupting her, being guided by her feminine wisdom, etc., all of which I do joyfully. It means the world would probably be a far better place if there were more capable women making important decisions that impact our lives in positive and meaningful ways. We were very disappointed that Hillary lost the election as it would have set a very valuable precedent. That would have placed FLRs on the world stage.

I also just like the term Female-Led Relationship, it sounds strong and purposeful. Like it's going somewhere.

 

I think that would be handy - as I said we are really just broad spectrum kinky which really isn't vanilla. Maybe the small turn-out is that many people don't see themselves in any of the current categories.