Where we are 8 years later

It’s been a while since I’ve blogged our experience in this lifestyle and I found I’ve always enjoyed writing about it. In fact, writing about our extracurricular activities has made me a better writer in general. I found that I was very passionate when I would write about our relationship and our sex. We’ve been together for 18 years this year and it has been quite the adventure with ups and downs. One thing that has been true for us has been our constant deep burning love for one another and that has gotten us through everything. We have two children both under 10 but far apart in age, they have been the most fun but also our biggest challenge we’ve gone through together as I’m sure most if not all parents would agree. Sometimes our chastity lifestyle has to be put on the back burner as other priorities come up in life but no matter what, our FLR and D/s dynamic is always there, rooted into both of our minds. She loves the extra control she’s been handed and I love being wrapped around her little finger. 8 years we’ve been living and learning what we like and love about our chastity lifestyle and I love how it never gets old. Many times there isn’t much if any time for us to play but the burning desire to push the envelope and see what she might try next is constant fuel for our fire.

Our last couple of months had been pretty rough, everyone in our house was constantly sick with something and then we all came down with Covid. Finally everyone started to get better and now everyone is healthy and I hope it stays that way for a while. A baby can certainly kill your sex life which he had done for most of last year but then add Covid into the mix and it had been almost two months since my wife and I had even touched each other. That was harder for me than it was for her because she’s constantly being prodded, grabbed and sucked on by a baby all day long and by the time we have our alone quiet time at night she often doesn’t want to be touched. I really didn’t understand that until more recently but I do get it now and I respect her wishes. I certainly feel as though I have become more obedient to my wife. I don’t want to say it’s just a chastity thing, I think I’ve grown emotionally quite a bit and this is really more to do with wanting to be a good man and the best husband I can be for her and our family.

Our sex has been pretty effing hot lately, it’s always been damn good and erotic but the last few times we’ve played my wife really brought out her domme and last night was no exception. It had been several months since I was locked in a chastity cage. With the baby and just the craziness our lives have been this last year I was in and out of my cage. That was my bad and it boiled down to laziness as far as the long times in between me being locked back up. Also I had gained weight so my Behind Barz belt didn’t fit comfortably and instead of getting my butt in shape I took the easy road and just ate more bad stuff. The nice thing about our FLR is that it had really already been long established and I was already so used to being my wife’s servant that that really never changed. It was good to have that mentality with the new baby because I really wanted to help my wife as much as I could. Anyway, I got irritated with myself and finally got myself into the right spot to get myself back into shape. I bought a cheap ball trap chastity cage from eBay while I drop the weight to get back into my belt. I found a stainless steel style that I’d had in the past that my wife and I both like the looks of. It really is like a piece of jewelry to me and I like looking at myself in the mirror seeing it. Only thing my wife and I don’t that like about the ball trap cages is that they’re ineffective as far as being able to pull out which is why we decided to get a full belt style. The ball trap cage is more symbolic of the lifestyle versus “true chastity” and it helps keep me in the right mindset. Even though I know I can pull out the psychology of having the cage on really makes me just want to cooperate and be obedient to my wife. I asked my wife about getting pierced so I could wear a more concealable ball trap PA cage but she really doesn’t want me to and honestly that’s fine because I'm not to many pounds away from being able to fit comfortably in my belt again anyway.

So I’ve been wearing this new ball trap cage for about a week now and we have been loving it. I love handing her the keys and I love when she reminds me she has the keys. She’d been driving me crazy all week because she really wasn’t letting me touch her at all, even rubbing her back or her hair like we usually do. I think part of it was because of the needing her private space because of the baby and the other was because she loves to fuck with my head and make me desperate for her. Which, by the way, works every single time. She watches me go through these stages of frustration and truly makes me think I’m going to get nothing. Then at the last minute she’ll take my hands and place my finger tips over her erect nipples. Which is what happened last night. It had been several days since she even let rub her back, I asked if she wanted me to but she declined each night earlier in the week. It was hard because being close like that with her and gently stroking her back or her hair is a sexual tension release for me which I’ve come to love. I Think she realized this too and now will use it against me. It really used to kinda make me a little upset but I’ve more recently found I’m liking that kind of denial from here. That kind of denial gives me longing feelings for her which I used to not like, it made me feel kind of forgotten about. But now I’m finding it very erotic and it just makes me more excited and anticipating when she’ll let me out and what will she want to do. This is something I wish I could’ve learned to appreciate earlier on in our lifestyle, I think I’d be much further ahead in appreciating the erotic and emotional atmosphere my wife can create.

Last night after several nights of not letting me touch her other than a hug or peck on the cheek, she moved closer to my side of the bed to have me stroke her back. This made me really happy as I had just been dying to lightly run my fingertips over her soft smooth back and through her beautiful auburn red hair. It was getting pretty late and I wasn’t expecting anything as I ran my fingertips over her during an episode of a show we’ve been watching. As the episode came to a close she put her hands behind her motioning me to put my hands in hers. She brought my hands around to her erect nipples and she moved my hands in a circular motion to stimulate her and make her nipples harder. I could feel her nipples get harder as my cock got harder in its cage. Several more minutes of rubbing, squeezing her nipples and kissing her neck. I was now as hard as my cage would let me be, wanting nothing more than to burst from its steel prison and be touched by my domme. She took my right hand and moved it slowly between her legs, I felt how wet she was and now I’m throbbing in my cage. I ran my fingers over her pussy again and again before parting her wet pussy lips, running my finger from bottom to top and then resting it on her clit. I started rubbing her clit in a circular motion, she let out a small moan and then told me she wouldn’t unlock me until I made her cum. I started rubbing faster but still gently as she placed her hand over my cage and started stroking the steel. Her pace quickened grasping the whole cage, I was so excited but afraid I might cum in my cage, which was exactly what she wanted. She brought me very close to cuming in my cage, I’m sure if she had kept at it for another minute I certainly would’ve. I was not in the best position so I moved and she repositioned herself so I could be in front of her.

I lifted her legs and pulled her black panties off, I took a second to appreciate how beautiful her pussy looked. I’m not sure why it struck me in that moment but i just stared at it for a second appreciating how perfect it was. Then the overwhelming desire to lick her set in, i realized it had been a couple of months since she allowed me to go down on her. I placed my lips and tongue against her warm wet mound and was in heaven, she tasted and smelled soooo good, my primal instincts were going crazy. My cock still locked in its steel prison throbbing hard and desperately. I pleasured her with my mouth for several moments before an idea struck me. I really wanted to fuck her with my little cage, I could achieve the right angle so I could get about an inch of it in her pussy. I lifted her legs and held my cage in place while firmly pushing into her. I know she liked the extra girth coming in just enough to open her up and so much delicious frustration for me. Her warmth and juices filled my cage as I made little 1/2 inch strokes. I placed my thumb on top of her clit and my domme wife really started to moan and thrust her hips. A few moments later she came fairly hard ejaculating a little onto and into my cage. That blew my mind seeing and feeling that little gush, I loved it so much.

I had made her cum and now it was my turn. She told me where she had hidden her keys and in a fury I rushed over to find them and unlock myself. I got my cage off, I had little indents on the head of my cock from straining against the end of my cage. I put my cage down and got back in bed with her. She split her legs for me and I bent down to give her pussy one last kiss and lick before I fucked it. Her body shook from my kiss as she was still so sensitive after her orgasm. She wrapped her legs around my body pulling into her, I held my cock and pressed into her waiting velvety soft wetness and laid on top of her. I enjoyed a long moment of just being inside her as I embraced her. I started going in and out and for a moment I thought I’d be able to last a little while, hoping for just 5 minutes. The head of my cock was still kind of numb from pressing into the cage so I thought just maybe. But seconds later I knew that wasn’t going to be the case, my feeling came back and I was so turned on by the entire evening that I think I only lasted about 30 seconds. Although I had gotten a vasectomy a few months back she was still afraid of me cuming in her so she told me to pull out and cum on her. She’s such a dirty little cum bunny, I know she’s paranoid but I also know she likes when I shoot a big load of cum on her tummy and tits. After being locked for a week I was loaded with cum and I shot spurt after spurt onto her. Her face lit up as she saw how much cum there was, so fucking hot, I love that she loves to get cummed on. I love my dirty tall hot domme ❤️

Afterwards we both laid next to each other, there was some cum I was laying in on my side of the bed but I didn’t care because I felt so good. The whole evening was so amazing as she brought me over a range of emotions until we both exploded. Sometimes when I least expect it she can really blow my mind, I love that girl!

 

Haha, she’s not real big on me “cleaning up” unless I’m using a towel. She’s let me do it a couple of times but it’s more for me than for her I suspect. And yes I was right back in my cage after she let me cum. I think I was only unlocked for about 5 minutes total lol.

 

A few weeks back I surprised myself as well my domme with something I confessed to her. We had a rare moment to ourselves in the evening and weren't tired from adulting. I just ordered a new cage to wear while I drop the weight to fit back into my Behind Barz belt and knowing a new cage was on the way got us both excited and put a little fire under our D/s relationship. I had been feeling very subby and was missing being locked up for my mistress and I know she was missing it too. If you had read my previous post I mentioned that my wife and I still enjoy the lifestyle even if I’m unlocked, we don’t stop just because the cage is off, we’ve definitely established a dynamic between us that’s certainly a FLR even if it’s not hardcore. The more we go down this rabbit hole the more I/we feel in our happy place.

I have an attraction to cuckolding, learning about cuckolding 8 years ago is actually what brought me to chastity. At the time I liked the cuckolding porn I had watched but really didn’t know much about the lifestyle and was focussed more on chastity. I became in love with the idea of chastity the more I researched about it and the positive implications it could have on our relationship. Cuckolding just kind of sat around in the back of my mind never really at the forefront but it was always there and fun to think about. Every once in a while the cuckold bug really bites me and I can’t stop thinking about it for whatever reason. It has really been on my mind in the last few months again so I joined a cuckolding forum and started chatting with others members. It’s nice to be able to talk to others who have experience and are willing to talk about their lives. Seems like a lot of people living this lifestyle are fairly proud of it so there were plenty of people willing and wanting to share.

I made some friend at (cuckoldmarriageimfo.com) and there were a lot of good people to talk too. A lot of bullshitters and wannabes there too but that’s pretty much any forum. It was just nice to talk to others about such a taboo subject in complete comfort and knowing many of them had experience in all the different roles. Ultimately I think I joined the forum because I wanted to meet some cucks and see what their drive was for wanting to be cuckolded. I wanted to know if I had any or many similarities to the cucks I met and I wanted to know if this lifestyle might be right for me/us. Shortly I became friends with a bull and we chatted quite a lot. He had only a few years experience but he was a wealth of knowledge helping me understand some of the ins and outs. He made it sound really hot and appealing, running through scenarios with me and my wife, he kept trying to convince me to talk to my wife about this and then have him talk to her. He really got in my head and at that time I half heartedly thought about talking to my wife. Instead I got wigged out and I deleted my account trying to put it all out of my mind as I felt I’d gone to far even just talking about it.

A month went by and it was still on my mind. I’d also been unlocked for quite some time and I was masturbating occasionally and every time I did, it was always the same fantasy. A black guy at least 6’6” with an 8 inch fat cock, fucking my wife in all different position, in every on of her holes with cum in and on her everywhere. Me watching the whole thing take place, sitting in the corner of the room naked, in my belt with a collar and leash. Straining in my cage, cum continually dripping from my cock. Then when he’s done, me being guided over on the leash to make out with her and then lick her pussy clean. Those thoughts dominated my mind for a good couple of months. I was kind of mad at myself for wanting that so badly and I wanted to figure out why I wanted it so bad, it was really eating at me.

I ended up joining that same forum again and started chatting with new people. This time I ended up meeting a hotwife and turns out her and her husband live pretty close to us. I told her a bit about our lives (I.e. chastity, FLR ) and she was chomping at the bit to meet my wife, she really wanted to talk to her. Also telling me that I should just move forward and confess my true desires to my wife. When she said “my true desires” I had to think for a minute. I’m really not sure what my desires are with this. There’s still a lot of gray area there.

Fast forward a couple of days from my conversation with the hotwife and my wife and I are alone and in bed for the evening. We were watching TV when my wife pauses the tv, turns towards me and kisses me while grabbing between my legs and my cock sprung to life. She ran her fingers everywhere avoiding touching my cock which of course made me hard as hell. Then she lightly started teasing the tip and I was throbbing with anticipation, I wanted her to suck on my cock so bad. While she was gently stroking me she tells me she knows I’ve been bad, I tell her the truth that I have been bad. Now she’s intrigued and wants to know how many times then she pauses and asks me what porn I’ve been watching and what I’ve been thinking about when I do it. I froze and didn’t know what to say, I couldn’t believe she just asked me that because of what had been on my mind so much lately, like the only thing on my mind. She pressed me further wanting to know, touching everywhere all around my cock teasing me. I finally got up the balls to tell her the truth, the moment seemed right and I figured pillow talk was the best time to divulge my fantasy, it was time.

I told her “I think about you”, and she started to make like a “yeah right” face. Then I continued, I think about you and me being your cuckold, her eyebrow raised a little. Me watching you get fucked by a big black cock, cummed in and on, then when your bull is done with you, he brings me over to lick you clean. By this point we were mutually touching each other and as soon as I told her those last two sentences her pussy got so wet I thought she peed. Then she told me how hot that was and was breathing heavy. I was so relieved she liked it because I thought she would be offended and all she said back was that the pussy doesn’t lie, referring to her incredible wetness. She stopped touching me altogether and let me focus on her, I was whispering dirty things in her ear about how good her bull was fucking her while I was watching and that I couldn’t wait to eat her pussy and lick it clean when he was done. How he was fucking her doggy style while I was underneath her licking her pussy. She came so fucking hard so fast, then told me to get a condom and let me fuck her until I came…. Which was within a minute.

We caught our breath and started talking about my fantasy a little more. I was so relieved I had gotten it off my chest… but now what. She asked why I hadn’t told her sooner because she thought it was such a hot fantasy too and didn’t understand why I thought she would be mad if I told her about it. I said it seemed like such a taboo thing and I just didn’t know what she’d think of me if I told her that’s what gets me off the hardest. I told her I was happy I finally said something and that she now knows my deepest fantasies. It felt so amazing to be that open with her and confess those thoughts, I know I can tell my wife anything after telling her that.

The next couple of days were fun because we were teasing each other about the fantasy. It definitely made our already hot fire burn even hotter but I also feel like I opened a can of worms more so than I meant. Although it was just a fantasy that I’d confessed to my wife there was some realism in it for me because of how much I’d been thinking about it lately as well as actually talking to others who live it. Was I thinking about it so much more because I wanted that life for us or was it something else, something deeper that my mind kept fucking with me? Also my wife was super turned on by this, is this what she wants?! My wife asked me some questions about my fantasy, asking if it was always a black guy or if there were ever any other women involved. I wrote her a pretty raunchy ffm fantasy where she was the domme and was dominating myself and another sub woman. She liked that story a lot, I think I’ll include it in this thread it’s a pretty good read.

Now cuckolding was in the forefront of my mind after actually talking to her about it and I really wanted to discuss it further with my wife. Not discussing as a real possibility but more as a hypothetical, why do I like this especially considering the limitations it could put on me. I really wanted to know what she thought about it too. I got ahead of myself and stupidly pressed this in a more serious tone than I was truly intending and my wife thought I was seriously asking if it was something she wanted to do. I wasn’t meaning to pose this as a “do you want this” but I think I got so wrapped up wanting to know her real feelings that I came across to serious. I didn’t really realize how far I’d gone with the conversation, I even asked her if she wanted to speak with that hotwife who lived so close to us. She didn’t say anything when I mentioned that and I’m really not sure if she thought I was crazy or if she maybe did want to speak with this other woman.

I said I was sorry I was talking about it so much and told her I was trying to figure out why I thought I wanted this and I was trying to break down the psychology behind it for me. After thinking on it for a moment she got a look on her face that wasn’t good. She said maybe I wanted to sleep with other women and this was a way to make it okay and now my wife seemed offended. My jaw dropped a little when she said that as that was far from the truth. You should’ve seen me back pedal out of that! Reason her mind went there was because she’s the only woman I’ve ever been with, she took my virginity 3 weeks after we started dating and that was 18 years ago. She thought I wanted to experience someone new. I assured her that wasn’t the reason (ever) and I tried to explain that cucks stay locked up unless their wives or the bull says otherwise. The conversation then shifted to could I even handle this emotionally? In the end she says she doesn’t think I could handle it, she turned it around on me for perspective and said that if she ever saw a girl kissing me, even if we were all doing stuff together that she would want to beat that girl up. Then asked how I’d really feel watching another man kiss her and yes at the end of the day I don’t want to see that. It’s the emotional intimacy that’s a dealbreaker for me, I don’t want another man to have feelings for her that way and I don’t want her to have those feelings for another man other than myself.

In my fantasy after the big black bull fucks her and then leads me over to eat her out, he pretty much disappears and doesn’t exist anymore. He’s nameless and faceless and his only purpose is to serve that particular part in my sexual fantasy and then he’s gone. In reality before we’ve even gotten to any of the sex this hypothetical guy is out wining and dining my wife and having intimate moments with her, that kind of hurts to think about. While the kink and crazy sex and submission of the cuck in the lifestyle is really hot to fantasize about, I couldn’t handle it emotionally and I know I would be jealous. it’s not the idea of her having sex with a well endowed man that bothers me. What bothers me is the bull wanting to grow an emotional connection between him and my wife. The emotional connection that I have with my wife is so special to me that I can’t bare the thought of sharing her in that way.

In the end I apologized to my wife for me getting so carried away and taking the conversation into a serious tone instead of just a playful one. She seemed relieved when she realized I wasn’t really being serious about this. Yet I could also tell she was really interested in the idea, even if it was just fantasy. Neither of us would really want to put that much strain on our relationship for the sake of sex, as my wife pointed out, our sex is already rockin and has been pretty hot for a while. I think this is one of those lifestyles where you have to really go in knowing it’s what you and your partner want, if you don’t go in knowing that than you’re a fool because there’s no going back. There’s a deeper psychology in this for me as to why I thought I wanted it, I’ll go into in another post or perhaps the cuckolding forum and maybe I can get some other opinions. As far as moving forward, we both think cuckolding in its many variation is a way hot fantasy. I look forward to the fantasy being part of our bedroom play from time to time but am happy it’s just my wife and I.

 

I really love what chastity has brought to our relationship, I have never felt closer or more in love with my wife. I wish I would not have been so dense when we first started this, it took me a little while to understand that chastity was about the journey and not the destination. I got ahead of myself and focused more on making the lifestyle about sex and kink versus trusting my wife to lead us down her path of her choosing. She was very patient with me and eventually I matured and realized I was focusing on me and not her/us. Once I’d figured that out and started listening instead of talking, I felt a general calmness settle over me and I’d finally let go of the illusion of the control I thought I had over our sex lives.

I can’t say that I was able to divert my mind from sex as with this lifestyle it’s kind of all we think about and part of the point. But by being able to shift my focus from the kink I was wanting us to try I was able to focus on the intense feelings I have for my wife that chastity really brought out of me. I loved how it gave me that new relationship feeling with her and it still does, I love those butterflies in my stomach. I love that I want to try harder for her, always want to impress her, always want to spoil her. She’s my princess, she deserves to be treated like royalty and pampered. I love that these are all now feelings ingrained in my mind. The low level eroticism of feeling and being so in love with her is so intoxicating.

While in part chastity makes you crave what you can’t have, it should equally make you appreciate what you do have. Things aren’t always as intimate as I’d like them to be but I also know that while there’s “downs” there’s always “ups” as well. The “ups” always make up for the “downs” and in some ways allow me to appreciate feeling more mature when things aren’t going how I’d like. When I reflect on times over the last 8 years that haven’t necessarily been my favorite parts of chastity I look at how far my wife and I have come in terms of our relationship and our intense love for each other. We have come a long ways in communicating with each other, we are now more open with each other than ever before. We have a established FLR that has flourished over the last 8 years, we both love the power dynamic and my wife is always pushing and testing me with her dominance. My wife has grown exponentially as a Domme and has truly admitted to loving her role in our relationship. She admits it took her a while to feel comfortable but now she fully embraces it. I have also embraced my role as her submissive and I am more content than ever to love, serve and pamper her. Our relationship roles are always evolving, learning and trying new things.

I look back and am shocked when I see how far we’ve come in so many areas of our lives and relationship after starting with baby steps. I’m really proud of us. Hence the phrase it’s about the journey not the destination. Once I opened my eyes to the bigger picture of what chastity has offered our relationship in all aspects, I began to appreciate every little thing we’ve done along the way, good and bad. I love my Domme wife and everything she has brought into my life and exploring ourselves in this way.

How many of you were dense like me and when did you realize it was about the journey?

 

I really didn’t know what to expect from my wife when starting this. I definitely tried to guide things to much in the beginning and she quickly got me to back off from that. I think my wife made it a point to deny me any of the ideas I gave her lol. Or she’d put her own spin on them and to date she has never given into me on anything. My wife clearly had a better idea of what we were doing than I did. It was always me that would set the cage aside for a little while until I was ready to resume. One thing I can say though is that even if the cage is set aside, there are certain light D/s aspects to our relationship that never change and feel like part of who each of us are. Whether I’m locked or not I am her submissive and that is clear to both of us. I don’t know if my wife really did any research of her own about submissive men when we started but she has me wrapped around her finger. We’ve taken little breaks from the cage but she’s never allowed me to quit our lifestyle.

 

After two weeks of total chastity (she wouldn’t let me pleasure her either) my domme wife had me unlock and get into the shower with her. She took my cock in her hand and told me she just wanted to touch it. She picked up the body wash and put a dollop in her hand and rubbed it all over my cock. She started massaging it and I laid my head on her shoulder. I was hard in moments and she turned me around to face the shower wall. With my cock in her hand she wrapped her other arm around my chest and put a leg between both of mine splitting them. She stroked me a few times and I exploded, it was huge. She rubbed me until all my cum was out and then gave me a love pat on my ass. I really think it was the quickest she’s ever made me cum.