Any tips of living with chastity?

You are not obliged to do long-term chastity and you shouldn't feel that you are not doing it properly if you don't. Chastity is an individual thing, so just do it how you want to.

You don't say whether you have a key holder or if you are self-locking, but how you do chastity is entirely up to you or your key holder.

I don't do long-term myself as my key holder doesn't want that. The important thing to me is that she has control.

Also, don't forget that this is the internet, so many of those claiming to be locked permanently are doing nothing of the sort. Apologies to those that are and no offence intended.

 

you're putting too much pressure on yourself. If you can't do long-term then don't. It's not for you. Do what you feel comfortable with and you enjoy. If it's no more than 48 hours that's no problem.

Have fun!

 

You need to slow down.

You are trying to do too much.

First, start with locking for 4 hours a day for an entire week.

Then move to 5 hours and so on and so on. You get the idea. Start small and slowly increase.

Chastity is not easy.
You need to train for it.

You also need to change up your routine.

For me I had a set masterbation routine, right before bedtime.

I had to shake things up for myself.

After dinner I work out and expend any energy I still have let. I exhaust myself so that I am really tired.

I also changed my bed time (half hour earlier) and do my stretches and my daily Meditation before bed. By the time I am ready to sleep, I am too pooped to masterbate, I just want to sleep.

The key is in the routine.

Inorder to change your behavior, you first need to change up your routine.

Good Luck.

Go slow.

You Got This.

Iso.

 

Like others have said ; you need to slow down. We have been playing with chastity for about 6 years, and I still can't go more than 30 to 40 days without needing a release . The average is 14 days still and it took time to get there.

 

I agree with the above - go slow or as the kiddies say* "you do you". Despite that some of the threads here seem to indicate otherwise, there are no hard and fast rules on how to do chastity - lifestyle or not.

There are some people out there (not so much on this site it seems) who use chastity as a sex toy for a day or a weekend. That's perfectly legit and I'm assuming (for them) enjoyable. Others can go longer. I'm assuming there are people out there who've tried it and just can't.

You could do 48-hour stints and enjoy the extra-special rush that comes from the orgasm afterwards. You could do as @Isopropylforyou suggests and try building up over time.

Bottom line - do what works for you and enjoy it. There's no measuring stick you need to hold yourself up by so long as you and your partner (if any) are happy! Good luck!



* PS anyone know if the kiddies still say "you do you"?

 

i have wonder as well why lots of men have to have what they say a release. and i think it must be how much testrone they have got. so if you have got lots then that musst make you want release more. and make lots of mess.

 

* PS anyone know if the kiddies still say "you do you"?[/QUOTE]

Yes the Kiddies still say that.
Iso.

 

It sounds like you are self-locking. If that is the case, then I totally get it. I don't think I could self-lock. It doesn't even compute in my head.

Locking for my wife, on the other hand, just makes perfect sense (to me). She's the reason for locking. She's the reason for going without. Somehow it makes it all worthwhile. It makes me happy. It makes me content.

So you gotta figure out what works for you. Don't force yourself into someone else's shoes ... find what makes you tick.

 

Thank you!

 

Some of it is also mind over matter.

I am somewhere between self locked and locked by my wife. Its pretty much my thing, and she participates to a point, but doesn't hold the keys. She will sometimes entertain chastity with a tease session, or saying no to a release or PIV, othertimes if she isn't in the mood for any sex, she seems far more comfortable now just getting on with the day rather than a "duty" BJ/HJ.

For me, I am driven by the urge to achieve something, so my willingness and drive to overcome the urge for a release is mostly overridden by that.

Going from no denial / frequent releases to locked up can be quite a learning curve, although I find it easier to sleep horny in a cage than without.

Do whats right for you, there is no one set way

 

I bet your in your twenties or early thirties, i was the same way during that phase of life, after 36 hours I was starting to go nuts, because of the nuts. You will notice that most people on here are further down the road of life and the pressure to explode is settling down a bit. Yet oddly I wish my wife had locked my cock on our honeymoon

 

Like many others have said take your time and enjoy the ride. It does take time some longer than others each person is different so be yourself not somebody else.

 

Distraction so often fails for me because it's resisting a feeling that instead must be accepted. And the feeling of frustration always returns, sometimes stronger, so resistance has to grow. This process of escalating resistance, repeated ad nauseum, is not sustainable. Instead of fighting it, embrace it. Accept that this is how things are right now.

I have been practicing mindfulness meditation for a long while and only recently applied it to understand and accept my sexual frustration. Thus far it's been been a valuable tool for increasing my awareness and embracing feelings of frustration, which obviously can be intense with chastity, and it may do the same for you.

Embracing arousal, as with any feeling, doesn't mean indulging it. Embracing it is accepting it for what it is: a disruptive yet transient state of mind. Awareness observes it come into being, color the thoughts and grip the body. The heart accelerates, the breathing changes, and a near physical urge to react dominates the mind. Awareness notices all this without condoning or condemning, repressing or expressing. It recognizes that just as sexual frustration arises, so will it pass away.

The feeling is fueled by identifying with it ("I am horny") without consciously choosing to do so. Awareness catches the sexual impulse at its inception, to notice the first hint of arousal coloring our feelings and perceptions. But such precision requires a focused mind, which is not a fixed, ideal state to be achieved, but a skill to be continuously developed with regular meditation. Through meditation, I find I have too often looked outward when feelings of want arise, to some one or some thing that might resolve those or be the cause of those feelings, instead of looking inward to be present in my experience and accept it. I think this is necessary for that feeling to pass.

I highly recommend mindfulness meditation as a helpful tool, and not just for the ascetic purpose of accepting feelings of frustration, but for a deeper understanding of the whole self. Give it a shot if you haven't.