Trying to Keep him happy.

Doesn't really sound like he should have anything to complain about, you let him do quite a bit. Sounds like he should be trying to do more for you.

 

Obviously I don't know either of you but from what you are describing it sounds like he is being selfish. He shouldn't be telling you what to be doing to him, it should be your decision and should come as a surprise to him, that doesn't mean he's not allowed to offer a suggestion but that's all it should be is just a suggestion, brining it up again should have consequences from you. It sounds to me like he only enjoys chastity if it's on his terms which can't be that fun for you. its hard to say what to do, if he really wants to be your sub then he needs to respect your dominance and quit topping from the bottom. Sounds like you need to draw the line and create rules for him and a contract for him to sign and abide by. Clearly state in the contract that there is to be no complaints or telling you what he wants and that it's solely your decision. If he truly enjoys chastity than that kind of agreement shouldn't be a problem for him to agree too. The big part on your end is sticking true to your word meaning that if he complains then either toss him the key and tell him to do whatever he wants because you're done or create punishments that he'll really regret. Don't let him cum for 6 or more weeks and you remind him everyday of that 6 plus weeks whether it be verbal or physical that you are the one in charge. You essentially have to break him of his behavior of telling you what he wants.

 

You need to understand that men are bottomless pits when it comes to anything sexual. He will always want more than you can give. And that insatiable appetite that men have makes them feel entitled. If you don't want him making everything about him, you need to really make an effort to make things about you. Start asserting what you like about having him caged and putting your foot down.

Want to top from the bottom? How about no, and you can stay locked for 90 days to think it over. Oh, and your "friend" is not coming back till you learn not to boss me around (or maybe never again at all).

Sounds like he needs to learn that he's just a man, not a king.

 

One more side note that's worth mentioning from my experience is that the longer I'm locked the more passion and intimacy I need. My mistress goes to school full time and has an incredible workload, I work full time and am literally my mistress's housewife (I do the cooking, grocery shopping, cleaning, laundry etc...)and we have a 3 1/2 year old on top of that. Since she started school this semester we have hardly seen each other. We agreed that longer lockups for me would be better as it would keep me more submissive and willing to do a lot more than say I normally would. So far over a month and a half in it's worked well and our home had never been cleaner and I'm a great cook too. I crave intimacy and passion and there has been a serious lack of that for a while. That makes it hard for me to be submissive to her because at times I feel like a self locker and then I ask myself why do I continue this when it feels like my wife doesn't want attention from me. The truth is, that she does need attention from me but with her crazy amount of school work and no time for anything else sex drops down pretty far on her list of priorities. Even though my chastity is about my devotion to her I need her to let me know that she's thinking about our lifestyle and that i need passion and intimacy in our relationship. It's very hard to balance these things right now in our lives and oftentimes our needs are on two different levels. So there's a lot of different things to consider when it comes down to "am I doing enough or is he doing enough for our relationship". Sorry, I'll step off my soap box now

 

Hello @Mistress Ann when I read your post I was to say the least shocked. This is my Opinion on what I have just read.

You are NOT the DOM he is. He is controlling you to get everything He want and you are only getting some of what you want. If your husband seriously wants you to be his Dom and take control of him than you need to talk to him about what Both of you want from this arrangement. If he still wants you to be I control of him than it may be difficult at first but you need to Take control.

I can relate to the statement that men are bottomless pits of sex because I'm one of them. Our relationship changed to my wife being in control when I Unconditionally submitted to her. This is where the problem usually comes in. A lot of men Say they want their Wives to control them and they Say the want to submit to them but are still only thinking about what They can get out of the arrangement. It is a fine line of how your Dom/sub relationship works for you and that's something that you and only can workout.

Being submissive to me is. Doing anything and everything for and to my wife to make her happier and her life easier. Treating her like the Queen that she is unconditionally. When I first started doing this she went for months without so much as touching me. Most men would have quite and tossed in the cage but I continued untill she was comfortable to take control. So as you can see our relationship is different to yours but in someways similiar. You need to ask yourself " What do I want out of This ? ". Also spend some time exploring the mansion, you will find a lot of good advice that can help you but remember no one knows all the details about your relationship but you.

All the best to you

 

I agree with Mash.

I was going to say that he needs punishing each time he asks for something sexual - but that's a little one dimensional and our lives are complex. I do think you might gain some benefit from working punishment into your arrangement - but mainly? Mainly I'm with what Mash said.

 

A classic case of "topping from the bottom". Your husband is totally selfish and is DOMINATING his fetish fantiasies to be Dominated but ISN"T being submissive in any meaning of the word. YOU must enjoy it EQUALLY if not MORE and not this him him him want want want BS.

Just a REAL submissive's opinion and not a selfish pricks.

 

Absolutely!
It's not about how you're to keep him happy. The aim is now how he's to keep you happy. And you need a good hard grip on his balls to put him in just that mindset.

 

I would say that for a relationship to work both parts need to be happy, but him telling her all the time how to do what really is the wrong way.
For any kind of relationship - let alone some FLR style one....