I was locked for the first time by my wife two weeks ago and the first week I stayed fully locked. She has never shown any signs of being into kink but I suggested chastity could work for our marriage and a couple of days later she brought it up again and told me to buy a cage. During the first week I, actually surprising myself a little, found myself becoming naturally more attentive to her and doing what she asked around the house instantly and even taking the initiative to do things that would make her happy. At one point I was kneeling naked in front of her giving her a foot massage while she sat fully clothed in the couch. I offered to give her oral sex (almost begged in one case) many times. She even almost let slip her deepest kinky desires which she confessed to having. I didn't pester her for anything or whine or ask for any sexual desires or kinks to be fulfilled. I let her know that she should do what she wants and shouldnt feel pressured into doing anything and doesnt even have to acknowledge my chastity. She said she didnt feel pressured and was totally good with everything Then we had a minor argument (I should have not been so stupid as to argue back. Lesson learned) and she said that chastity was a stupid idea and she wanted more sex not less, how is locking it up going to help. So we unlocked and I put it away and we said no more about it. Although later that night I could tell she was regretting it a little After a week of not mentioning it as we were laying in bed I said, maybe we should lock it up again? She emphatically said YES almost before I could get to the end of the sentence. So she locked me before she went out for the day. I imagine many relationships that begin using chastity go through these things and I'm hoping that she wont unlock me so easily this time around. I've got a feeling that these are the lessons that lead to the proper establishment of the new power dynamic and her understanding of what she wants and enjoys about my being locked. So how long will we make it this time? Longer if I don't argue back is a good guess. Place your bets
I remember when we first started, and had our first argument. She practically threw the key at me. We’ve had plenty of disagreements since, but now, the key stays right on her necklace. She now has no intention of ending any of this, let alone give me free range to have “fun” when she’s pissed. We argue, I stay locked, the two activities are not linked, besides the reality that I probably won’t be getting out in awhile depending on what the fight was about.
Well that's reassuring that it's not just us then. I imagine I will soon truly learn how to be humble. There's fantasy emasculation that is arousing, but now i'm faced with the possibilty of feeling truly emasculated by her, and that is not as easy to take, but I may be faced with it sometime soon
That is exactly as my madam does! Although she doesn’t unlock me, if I do anything to annoy her, she will just stop being Dom in every way. And won’t start until I have made up for it!
One of my first questions here was about what to do when you’re not into it. Argument, being sick, her being sick, hectic busy life etc. Wondered if it was ok to get the key back when things are troubled or it’s a hassle. Found out that if you want this as a lifestyle, it means surrendering to it, and you can’t just pause it because it’s uncomfortable or you feel it isn’t needed. Her being your kh doesn’t change when it isn’t sexy fun, either she’s in charge of it or she isn’t. At least that’s how we saw it if we were going to do this all the time as a way of life.
Absolutely. She is actually almost starting from the other side in that respect. I don't think she has any problem keeping me locked regardless of wether it's sexy fun for me or not. She is very much enjoying knowing that I can't masturbate to porn or cheat (I never have or would but I think she still likes knowing it's not an option) and definitely saw a change in how attentive I was to her non sexual needs when locked. If anything, the biggest change would be when she starts to embrace it also as something that adds to our sex life. But I would never try to push that onto her and am ready for the possibility that I remain chaste as she enjoys all the other advantages. It's also highly likely that she will genuinely emasculate me in totally unsexy ways in the future
I’m new here, and to this lifestyle (?). Finally was able to talk to my wife about going/trying FLR. Got two days of almost complete silence/disinterest. Then she told me had been thinking about it. (I got real excited). I bought her some books, gave her some websites to look at, and said she should research it for herself, not go by my take on it. 2 weeks goes by, she’s got questions about my expectations, and well, we’re trying to get a chastity cage that will work for me. Apparently my testicles are somewhat larger than normal (woulda much preferred to have normal testicles and a larger dick LOL). Doctor that performed my vasectomy said that my parts are a little abnormal. So now that I’ve disclosed too much information, I’m thinking I’m going to be following this thread and others like it, as I suspect it is in my near future.
Good luck and welcome! It sounds like you are off to a good start. Just let her go at her own pace and do what she wants. I'm sure you can find a cage out there that works for you.
Sounds pretty straightforward: listen to what she's telling you, and just do what she wants--more sex and attention for her, and more chastity and less thinking/worrying about you. Enjoy!
You both need this, and it's quite apparent she's onboard. There are things in your marriage she wants to correct -- lack of help and lack of both emotional and sexual attentiveness -- and she already sees that chastity can help. There are many husbands here who learned they would improve their marriage by not masturbating and by putting her needs first. Submit, be attentive, encourage her. And welcome.
Thankyou! I think you are definitely right about her being onboard. I've always had secret kinks that I wouldn't like to bring up as it feels a bit unfair to lay them on her, and chastity was never the biggest, although it was something that excited me to think about often. But, it wasn't desperation to try my kink that finally made me suggest it. I could see that, holy crap, this thing could truly actually benefit a marriage in a big way, and I love her and wanted her to get that excitement back of having a man who is lovingly and sexually persuing her, and I want this to empower her in so many ways. Last night after she came home from work I made her dinner and we watched a movie. I touched her, stroked her hair, gave her a kiss or two. She never acknowledged the cage in any way. We went to sleep without a word. I had some annoying nocturnal activity and I tried not to wake her. This morning after a shower I made some sexual advances and she laughed and said 'Oh he wants out does he?' then playfully wagged her finger. Then she asked why we didn't have anythng in for breakfast and told me to go get her some yogurt I asked 'what kind' Then she spanked me lightly a few times. I asked for more, she spanked me a bit heavier and said 'Get your perversions out of here!' and sent me on my way to the store
Now I've been verbally chastised for not washing the couch cushions and mopping up. She says I missed my chance at mopping because there's dust now and I'll have to sweep before I mop. That is if ever hope to get out of that 'little suit' as she called it. I would have said something and argued back before, but today I just agreed to it. It was a little difficult and I felt a genuine emasculation and not an erotic one. But this is what I asked for and I imagine this is just the tip of the iceberg. Amazing that she has taken to it so quickly. I feel an incredible, building and desperate need in my cage