I'm very eager and willing to have my lover snap the lock shut for the very first time, but I remain uninitiated in the chastity experience because I serve a reluctant mistress. Who has it worse--those of you writhing in exquisite discomfort or I who may not come to realize what my imagination dreams? I have showed her the device in place, but I don't think she understood why I would want to do this to myself and she was also concerned it would harm me physically in some way. I did have to tinker around with several cheap devices to satisfy my own concerns and I do have my own thoughts about allowing myself to receive periods of freedom without orgasm so that I will receive proper blood flow and retain a kind of muscle memory. I'm only interested in ceding control to my lover, not altering my shape or function in any way. And though I'm not living it right now, I intend to continue to plead for my desires. Until then, I would like to share vicariously a bit if you will indulge me. My first contribution is this tether I have designed. I have read comments about the ease of pulling out at times. Not with this simple tether pictured here. It would be easier to defeat the lock or device than this cable in place. It's simple and relatively cheap to make, very comfortable though I did have to make it more snug so it would not slide back over my hips. I like the fact that it creates a reverse cupping pressure that creates stimulation (if that's tolerable long-term) and it doesn't allow your member to get a "running start" away from your body which decreases chances of release through the device. The length of the device from point of contact is all you get. I can also use the widest base piece allowing max circulation because there is no fear of pulling back. Enjoy.
It sounds to me like one of the reasons your reluctant mistress is reluctant is through confusion. It doesn't sound like you know yourself what you want. You cannot say here, lock me up, control my orgasms, keep me in chastity, but I get to choose when and how often I cum. The first step is to take it slow and explain to her your reasons for wanting this. The second is to decide what do you actually want. One other point, that tether looks like a lot of trouble. I run, swim, ride a bike. I cannot imagine that I would be able to do any of that, let alone sit down or sleep, with it on.
She has to accept what is offered. That hasn't happened yet. I know what will happen if it's left up to me. That tether is as good as you'll get for comfort, vinyl covered steel cable. It will flex with your body and doesn't irritate the skin. It's maybe a fraction of an inch too snug because I salvaged existing cable after the first attempt proved too loose. But if you get the size just right, I predict you'll be able to do any activity for an indefinite period of time. Siting and sleeping no problem.
Good luck with your journey. I'll just say this........chastity is not real or permanent without a piercing. I had 2 neosteel belts years ago which fit well but with plenty of soap and wriggling I could just about pull out and you couldnt wear them permanently due to hygiene. I can't see how your design is any different? Unless you can catagoricaly, and honestly look your mistress in her eyes and say 'I can't cum without you' then I don't see how it can work properly. Your fantasies maybe, but then your driving the whole thing and she has no control at all. It's then just your game.
Very surprised you wriggled out of a belt, but I've never tried one. Anything with a lock can probably be defeated including this cable. It's merely a solution to the all-too-easy pull out of some devices. You have to commit to cutting it apart because you won't be backing out with this.
The cable def doesn't look like a good long term wearable solution in my humble opinion. More to the point is trying to allow her to see what's in it for her, not just accepting "take what yo offer her". Be patient, and look around here. There's tons of information on easing her into it for her benefit, not just your fantasy. Good luck
Hi I would go with the view that take what is on offer is rather brutal topping from the bottom which probably won't get you very far. However only time will tell ,good luck . Xx Wendy
@Wendygirl that was my reading of the situation, which is why I haven't commented again until now. The OP and I are on totally different pages when it comes to what male chastity is and the roles we and our key holders play. I don't want to come across as abrasive but to me, the 'she has to accept what is offered' has to be one of the worst cases of topping from the bottom I have seen. Recent discussions about whether topping from the bottom was a helpful description or even a thing could have done with this as an example to show what is meant by the phrase. Of course you have to discuss soft and hard limits, maybe even discuss fantasies and desires. But the main thing I have understood about chastity is ceding access and control to someone else.
This guy isnt topping from the bottom, as they haven't even started yet. He's still figuring out what he wants and how to communicate that to his partner - something he clearly hasn't managed successfully yet, nor has she agreed to take him on as a chaste male. So the positions dont even exist yet. Top and Bottom are meaningless in this context - currently. There is this early primal phase we all go through where we struggle to even understand what there is to understand, and then how to introduce that to our partners - and that is where this guy seems to be right now. @Chivalrous - while chastity can mean as many different things as there are people practising it, it generally does entail giving up control of ones genitals or at least orgasms to another person. If you are ready for that, then think about why you wish to do it and how would you explain that wish to your partner. How can you make it seem like a gift that she will appreciate? I ask the above as that is what you have to work out. Have a good think about this, and practice the conversation you need to have with her about it. Often a Sunday morning works well, where you make her breakfast in bed, and you have a good heart to heart talk about it. A word about the aesthetics of your set-up - it looks very technical-black, all that metal rope and black cage. It looks very masculine 'boy's fantasy' and like something no woman would ever dream up. There is no way on earth that my own partner would find such a thing attractive. You might want to have a think about what aesthetic your own partner would find most acceptable out of the range of chastity devices currently available (and I dont mean what you've already bought, I mean available to buy in the world now) - as if you ain't pleasing her, it ain't even happening.
Thank you for the clarification @SubVerity - excellently put. It makes me think even more about the entire 'topping from the bottom' debate, as you point out for that to be happening you actually need someone at the top and someone to be the bottom. I have to agree with you about the look of the device as well and say that my Wife is in control of the device I wear and the aesthetics of it. At the moment she has accepted my Holy Trainer as a 'long term' temporary device. She doesn't like it but it serves a purpose for now. She is in charge of choosing its replacement.
i don't think that right really. i wud not ever ever try and get out of my cage cos its Mistress that's put it on me and if something hurts or something else i wud ask Her first if i can have it off for a bit.
It is only my personal opinion that chastity only works properly when there is very little chance you could take off the device or escape for a quicky. Each to their own. Maybe there's a number of guys out there that introduce chastity to their partners and keep it a secret that they can escape. You have better control than I do, that's for sure!