Ethics vs lifestyle Debate

I think it is useful to share experiences and ideas. There is no concrete expertise in this subject so locked up users ideas can sometimes be helpful. And lets be honest, if you are here on this site, the subject matter is not being forced on you and you are not being involved in this lifestyle involuntarily.

 

It's quite important to me that no third party should be unwittingly exposed to something they know nothing about and probably don't want to. It's not their business so leave them out of it.

 

A personal kink should remain just that, personal. The general public didn't consent to be part of it. I guess accidents could happen in a locker room for example. Purposely wearing your cage to a place you know there will be metal detectors etc is looking for a cheap thrill at others expense however.

 

"accidentally", lol.

Put away our favourite toy for a while and we'll become horny beyond comprehension. Before long our sex-hormone marinated brains turn to mush and our boundaries dissolve.

I've read and seen enough here to confidently say that many of those accidents, at the pool/beach/doctors/massage are not accidents but are instead just a horny man trying to get his kicks any way he can within the limits of being caged. Some of them are just exhibitionists/flashers, too.

 

Except the one that you could easily have done; Not wear a sex toy in a place where it could be seen by unwitting participants in your kink, lol.

If there is a chance then WTF are you risking it?

Imagine if someone saw it, took a photo, reported you to the venue, they called the police...

 

In my mind it comes down to this. If you're going to argue it's a lifestyle you'll quietly go about your day in a cage as a personal affair. No urge or need to share that fact. Which seems to be the minority of people here. A kink on other hand it must be shared or risked being "caught" even though you full well planned it. All to get a certain feeling. That would be the majority here. So don't argue it's a lifestyle while treating it like kink.

 

You are right, of course, but what of the ramifications?

A chat with the cops might be enough to convince you not to involve others in your kink.

Maybe being arrested and a note in the local media "Man arrested while wearing an adult sex toy in changing rooms". Released without charge, but the damage is done.

Are children allowed in the changing room? Maybe "Man arrested flashing sex toy to kids" is a better headline.

The consequences of your actions are not "on them", they are your karma. What those consequences manifest as is beyond your control. You can yell "it's their fault for looking" all you like, but only one person wore a sex toy in a place they new they could be seen.

This stuff isn't difficult.

 

It's best not to conflate. Totally different scenarios.

In the changing room you know you are going to be naked in front of people who are likely to disapprove of you wearing a sex toy. Worst case, a boy sees, tells father, father punches you, police are called, you are arrested and have to answer in court.

Medical staff see people highly likely experiencing the worse day of their lives, often with limbs hanging off, and who will be stripped naked by the medical staff while the patient is unconcious. Worst case; They giggle about it at the pub when discussing patients sex toys in the ER.

 

Of course, but that does not address the issue that you claim to do everything to reduce exposure while still wearing it while being naked in a place where you know it is inappropriate.

It's not about how you see others, it's about how others see you.

If I saw you I'd tell you how I feel and would inform you that if you continue I'll alert the venue. There wouldn't be a second warning.

 

Playing devils advocate, and not really my personal opinion, but would it be different if someone say your penis and you had an extreme amount of piercings on it?

Is it the chastity cage that’s an issue or is it just putting yourself in a position to be seen?

 

I would actually find this funny.

“Yes, officer I was just reaching down to dry my toes when got a real pain in my neck. I had to tilt my head from side to side to ease the pressure… that’s when I noticed his usually giant penis was no longer swinging between his legs. Every other time it’s a marvel. Today I realised he’s a pervert.
That’s honeslty what happened!”

 

Probably not okay...


Why not a ball stretcher?

How about a piggy tail butt plug?

"It's my lifestyle to be a piggy for my owner, oink oink"

 

You've totally changed my mind.

I'd just loudly say "Fucking pervert nonce is wearing a sex toy" and see what the other guys in the room think of you, before posting about it on the venue's social media page with a description of you and maybe your license plate number too.

Fuck it, I'm all out of tolerance and politeness.

 

I wouldn’t say the minority here have no urge to share… I think you see more of the outlet of wishing they could share manifested here in the mansion because it’s anonymous (for most) and it’s somewhat of a safe place.

That aside I’m in the camp where I won’t intentionally reveal that I have a cage on, and yes it’s part of mine and my wife’s lifestyle - meaning it’s there every day. Does anyone outside our marriage know about it, no, or at least not to my knowledge. So yes I believe it should remain “secret” so to speak…I mean none of us run around telling the world what positions we enjoy having sex in, or what sex toys we use (well most us that is).

On the flip side, I agree the “unwitting” exposure is key for me. If I’m in a private changing room or bathroom stall and someone walks in on me and were to see it, that’s not on me. Also, I travel a ton and always wear it through security… Metal detectors don’t pick mine up, but certainly body scanners do, and I never get stopped - so by going through the scanner if asked, did I just reveal my “kink” unwittingly? In my mind no. Just like I wouldn’t remove my jewelry, rings or my PA if I wasn’t caged… never had an issue etc. If I were to be pulled aside for a search, again that’s on them in my opinion if the cage is revealed.

Most is just common sense… like a doctors visit where you may have to drop your pants, wouldn’t wear it there and frankly shouldn’t as it could get in the way of an exam.

 

Totally the opposite.

It's bad for everyone and is easily avoided.

But you go ahead, continue to justify your behaviour while blaming others, hopefully you won't get called out as a fucking pervert nonce and you'll get to continue your exciting changing room dare.