Hi All. Still pretty new to this, we're about month into this journey. We're both in our 60's and started enforced chastity to help with intimacy in our marriage. I'm feeling quite surprised and more than a little shocked at how submissive I am feeling towards my wife. I didn't really think that would happen to this degree. I'm wondering if this happens often, this quickly? My wife has been away for about a week on vacation and we are going to have a talk when she gets home. I feel as if we need to somehow figure out how to deal with this. We didn't know much when we started, and I'm not sure anyone can predict what feelings will develop when entering something like chastity. I'm worried about how she will view her "macho" outdoorsy guy when I confess to her how submissive I'm feeling. Thanks!
Hey Lou, first off, welcome! I am new to CM myself, having just found it a week ago tomorrow. I started experimenting with chastity last summer, and then locked myself into a cage for 13 days in the middle of January, taking it off when I got ill with a respiratory infection. I relocked then on 2/11 and have no intention to unlock for the foreseeable future. I unlock for about 15 minutes every 7 to 10 days to clean my cage and trim my pubic hair. AND, just this week I asked my wife to be my KH. To be honest, she has yet to warm to the idea (she finds it very weird- her words) but I am giving her space because she did accept the key and keeps it in purse. I asked her yesterday for access to the key so I could clean, and even though she muttered something about a “sick game”, she nonetheless got the little velvet bag out of her purse, opened it, and handed me the chain with the key on it, so I am hoping she will slowly warm to it more and more. Now, I have always been somewhat submissive in our marriage in the sense that I don’t always make the decisions about this or that, and have never displayed any “alpha” behaviors. When I first proposed to her to be my KH, she stated right out she didn’t want to be ordering me around, but for me it’s more about the rush I get from knowing the penis attached to me is locked and kept by her. It’s a subtle distinction she has yet to grasp but I am willing to let her make that journey in her own time. I am already there and I am locked, and I have no desire to go into her purse to get the key, so hopefully since this is now the reality it will become more and more something she accepts. She hasn’t outright dismissed it so maybe it will just take time for it to become the norm. Eventually I want to give her a necklace with a symbolic key that I can convince her to wear publicly. We shall see.
I have no doubt that once my cuckoldress started allocating me covert female clothes and caging me daily that overtime this sign of semi mental feminisation led to my semi sexual demasculinisation too. I was already sitting to pee as a result of a PA piercing so wearing a cage didnt change that, simply wearing female underwear under tight female jeans over many years has, coupled with watching her being satisfied by better lovers than me brought on submissive sexual feelings. I am not naturally of a submissive nature so it took time for me to realise this yet when i did i embraced it knowing and accepting i was now a semi feminised cuck, i now knew my place sexually yet still presenting to those that know us as a dominant masculine man and head of this family.. Her jealousy and the simple fact that i like the female form partly resulted in the above daily allocations of female underwear, cage etc crossed almost immediately into my vanilla life. Once she knew i liked this her jealousy disappeared as she knew which women would want an affair with a man with pink toe nails, a permanent collar and wearing knickers and female tight jeans. Then add in caged too and she knew it couldnt happen. Though plenty of women have commented and felt my "firm" as over the years unaware they are fondling a pair of female knickers in the process. Overtime i have become used to enjoying watching her have sex and enjoyed this mentally rather than physically and wouldnt change that. My balls have shrunk, now weather this is long term cage wearing or the simple fact that they are redundant i dont know, maybe both. Either way i am happy and would have been happy to become her eunuch too, she declined this saying she married a masculine man........ It would be years later that she now with a BDSM dom was told to pee on me, she was shocked that i for the first time too took instructions from another man. Removing my t shirt and my tight female jeans and laying on the floor as instructed. This was strange laid wearing a cage, knickers, suspenders, collar and showing my pink toe nails to another male, humiliating but so kinky. She was reluctant to stand over me and piss on me, yet i knew i wanted to try this act of complete sexual submission to them both, i liked it more than she did, yet she did it.... twice. She later questioned my submission and said, i married an alpha dominant man and want you to remain one, quite how this fits into how she has dressed me for 30 years i have no idea. But she has declined to repeat this in his absence.
For me, at least, that's a perfectly normal development. When we stop masturbating and no longer have free erections we have to discuss with ourself what kind of man we are and acknowledge that our wives now have that power to give and take. And the increased intimacy and talking forces us to face our feelings and acknowledge that some of the macho has been a mask. You're doing great, hope this is still working for you both. It's steel therapy.