Bossy & fair - How does your good lady cope with the challenge?

all power is corrupting. It takes a truley special person to rule over others in a fair and just way. Though I will say the person or people being ruled over may not always understand the reasons or intentions and then disagree when in reality the ruler is simply doing whats best. Now in a chastity relationship its more of a dictatorship. I dont think fairness plays into this type of relationship . Its her way or the highway!

 

my Mistress is fair and sometimes when im not doing things i shud gets a bit angry and then im in some trouble. i never am in trouble tho if i does what im told. i just forgets sometime and it my fault i spose. Anyway it makes me better and i don't forgets as much as i once did.

 

A very good question blue eyes.
Personally I try to be fair and respectful at the same time as being austere and inflexible where it comes to structuring orgasms and releases.
I do find though that generally as a keyholder it is very easy to slip into being bossy.
Slipping into the bossy area is partly to do with the attitude of the sub. Some do like to creep and crawl and be bossed. Some stand tall and exhibit typical those Alpha male traits that keep my bossiness in check.

It's true that ultimate power corrupts.
And for that reason I've had to consciously work on being fair and respectful and (partly due to this website) I believe I have improved.
Oh and there's no way I would opt for a sub who wishes to crawl around snivelling and kissing my shoes and calling me Goddess. That brings out the worst in me. I suppose really I just prefer a more equal match.

 

A subbie who is constantly grovelling around your feet is enough to anger anyone. Grovelling has it's place when required but respect and politeness is far better. I try my best to be fair and although I know I have a short fuse, I try to control my anger. Counting to ten before a decision is made is one of the few things my mother told me that I have taken to heart.

 

My mother used to count to three very slowly if I was misbehaving badly. I never actually knew what was to happen if she went beyond three because I always sorted myself out.
However, I did overhear a mother berating her child in town while shopping some time ago.
"If you don't behave I'll count to three and then you'll turn into a blob of Jam".
So, now after all these years, the secret is out.

 

I guess there's two ways to look at it - sexual submission and vanilla submission. Both are pretty important

Sexually or for kinks, I get along well with ethical sadists. Generally these Ladies have been submissive at one point and know what that feels like, or have lots of dominance experience, so as a sub you can trust them to push you into situations you don't like - she will stop things at the right time.

With vanilla it gets more complicated, but the principles are similar - you'll need someone who can balance her desires with yours (movies, food, etc) and make it fun for both people.

I've also seen some be utter slaves and do whatever she says, whether they like it or not but for most part the slave actually likes it even though he doesn't on the surface. Otherwise it would just be abuse.

That being said, I don't hesitate to call out an action if I think it's seriously dangerous or a bad idea, and won't appreciate having my concerns brushed under or ordered to do it anyway.

 

My wife considers that men are victims of their desire to penetrate for orgasm and ejaculation that so colours their view of women (misogynistic attitudes etc) and their interactions and behaviour in society and the home. So the idea of reorienting male thinking via a caged penis has definite benefits with a redirection of lust towards satisfying the wife and an increased willingness to help out. A sexual kink yes, but not without considerable positives and she is very fair, balancing chores appropriately, and constant in her implemenation of the lifestyle. When recently I pointed out it was "Nine years since we started this male chastity lifestyle," she responded that for her "chastity" was not a description she liked with its historical patriarchal baggage (Crusaders etc) and a term linked to the obsession with penetrative sex and said "What we try to practice is simple: complete male orgasm denial."