I’ve been monitoring the various threads on CM about cage security and pullout capability over the last two years closely. This has kept me thinking quite a bit trying to figure out the importance. Several veterans have said no cage is fully secure; really? Should I get a PA? Why can’t I just buy a cheap cage with the knowledge that I won’t try to cheat? First… what does it mean to “pullout”? Some seem to think this means: completely remove the cage without unlocking the device. But I’ve always understood it to mean: pulling the penis out of the tube so you can masturbate. The question then remains: can you get your penis back in the tube without your KH knowing? When I started this chastity journey more than two years ago, I never thought about pulling out. But I found ways to have orgasms with the cage on, though it was often very difficult. But once I reached the point that I realized I could pull out, play with myself, and get back in, “the game was up”. That was about the time that I was getting serious about using chastity to deny myself so I could restore intimacy into my marriage. I researched the security options and decided to invest in a Vice Mini two years ago. My research suggested that was the last option short of a piercing. (I hadn’t heard of a tetherspout at that time) I still didn’t fully understand the importance of that decision. In fact, I’ve been processing it more and more as I learn about the brain, neurology, hormones, etc. I tested the inescapability of the Vice Mini during the first month of my purchase once I had the sizing options dialed in. My failed attempt to pullout resulted in a bloody abrasion on my “little guy” and I vowed not to attempt that again. My mind continued to consider possible workarounds to this problem but none of them solved for the problem of getting back into the device undetected by my KH. And it wasn’t long after I bought the Vice that my wife accepted my keys and has taken 100% control of them. So why does all of this matter? The left side of my brain (logic, reasoning, analytics) understands that 1) I could figure out ways to defeat my chastity device, and 2) chastity and orgasm denial are essential to the fantastic intimacy I’ve only come to experience since I was locked up 24x7, and 3) I have an addiction to orgasms and therefore masturbation that put my intimacy and relationship with my wife at risk. The right side of my brain where feelings and emotions are felt can drive me to seek relief when negative emotions, fatigue and depression set in. This kicks my middle brain / amygdala into full gear and if I start to stimulate myself in any way, the left side of my brain gets shut down from all of the electrical impulses that are saying, “Pleasure yourself”. This is the crucial point that chastity is important. If I wasn’t caged, had quick, easy access to a vibrator, or could easily pull out and wank, it would be “game over”. As I’ve found out, I’m very vulnerable at that point and will “go for it” 9 times out of 10. I’ve come to find that my inability to easily “get off” has saved me multiple times even while leaving me frustrated. In order to defeat my Vice Mini, I have to engage the left side of my brain to find a solution. When that happens, I start to think about all the reasons I shouldn’t do that. That drops all the “wind out of my sails”. This is where chastity “saves my bacon”. My wife doesn’t want to hear any of this. She wants my devotion, my love for her to win the day every time. But this is exactly why she holds the key and keeps it securely locked away from my access. It’s a conversation we’re destined to have many times. I can only make my case by actively wearing my cage continuously, by being attentive at all times, and by demonstrating sacrificial love at all other times. She’ll never understand the male brain on dopamine!
I've learned that I prefer being denied because of the feelings of constant hornyness 24/7 are better than ten seconds of orgasmic bliss followed by 7-10 days of sub drop meh. I have a key and can unlock without needing my wife's permission. I do everytime I need to pee in this inverted cage. But I won't induce an orgasm. I am working on honour. I've no doubt I won't cum without her instruction to do so. But I crave a much better chastity solution that I really can't escape from, but can manage urination and hygiene without unlocking. I don't want access to a key. This appeals to my submissive desires much more than our current situation. My wife isn't a reluctant keyholder by the way. She trusts me to not cheat and wants me to be hygienic and comfortable. She orders me into the cage and tells me when you take it off aside from pee and shower situations. Long term, I hope she'll decide to get her penis pierced and fit me with a custom cage that will allow weeks between unlocks, be near inescapable, yet allow for hygiene and less messy peeing. That's for her to choose though. She knows what my desire is, we've had the conversation. She's in charge. I really hope she does take away my freedom. Having it enforced is so much hotter for me than my self compliance.
Well written, after several years of going back and forth. I am getting a PA done next week. You have perfectly written why I do it.