I've had a denial fetish going back 30 years or so, as far as I can tell. I remember seeing 80's porn, where they guy gets all the foreplay, humps away entirely for his own pleasure and then cums, leaving the woman to only enjoy what she could before he came. I remember thinking I wish that was me, but with the roles reversed and the woman in charge. Once I'd had sex a few times, I realized that I preferred giving orgasms, and would often have my wife give me a number, and I'd have that # of thrusts before she'd have me pull out and stop. I usually failed to orgasm, and loved it. Eventually we stopped having me cum at all during sex, and I was good with that, and still prefer it. I got really into edging, and preferred it to orgasm, for several reasons, but edging is addictive, and there's no set end point. Ok....so now, for the past few years, I've been pretty much locked, chaste and denied. Here's how messed up my chaste mind gets. I get more aroused from knowing I don't get orgasms, and don't get sex, than I did when I'd know I was getting sex. My dick literally gets harder from hearing "You're staying locked.", than from being told there will be sex, back when I got piv. My keyholder gave me 3 tries to give her an orgasm with piv, and I failed, and she told me my piv days were over. I'd cum, 3 times, before a woman, for the first time, and I felt bad. I agreed, and my wife agreed to cut me off from piv too. That does get me down, but thinking about that gets me turned on. My brain is stupid. So....I read a few threads, and find that a few guys go 6 months or more without any relief/ejaculation/milking, and I find this exciting, having only gone 3 months once, and usually 1-1.5 between emptying. wow...6 months is hardcore! Keyholder: How's it going pet? Me: Pretty good, neutered as usual..lol. Keyholder: Not all that neutered though. Me: No....some guys go 6 months without relief...now that's neutering your pet! Keyholder: We can talk about that when I see you tomorrow if you like. Me: You'd like that? Keyholder: Yes, I would. So, of course....instant cage boner. We talk about it. I get hard in my cage, and wet, wet, wet. She tells me that she wants me to do it for her, and that I will do it for her, because she wants it. I swear to Gawd, this is largely how I got myself into permanent chastity after starting out with a longtime kink friend helping me quit masturbation, and do a bit of chastity play and me learning to bottom 3 years ago. My mind saying..."I bet it would be even hotter if you were even more restricted....You should ask if she thinks you need more control and restrictions." Now, my keyholder is my Domme in a polyish relationship, and I'm stuck doing 6 months no relief, which sucks....but if I think about the conversation, it gets me turned on......because my brain is stupid!
Keyholder and wife too, which is amazing, as my wife was of the "likes me locked" level of chastity play, and she's embraced the more strict chastity, and the training away from wanting to use it at all. It's really tough, not always fun, but I'm very lucky and excited for the future.
Don't you feel that chastity is enhanced with some kind of periodic, controlled re-setting. Is it not true the flame goes out if caged for a long time without relief?
I'm not sure. It's really one big experiment right now. We are partly extending my period without any relief to 6 months to see if I'll have a wet dream (never had one), or it will go off while wearing a strap-on with my wife or something similar. I've never gone beyond the 3rd month before either, so going 6 months is the unknown for us. We are also less motivated by what will keep me worked up, or enjoying it, as we are with simply meeting the needs of my wife and my keyholder. My keyholder is a queer woman, who loves me, but isn't a fan of dick, and in her words "Dick is an impediment to service". My wife enjoys a few orgasms a month, and is not into me getting off. I've even reached a point where I'm not into me getting off. I'm kind of stuck with sexual frustration, but no desire to do the stuff required to end the frustration. I find orgasms more a maintenance thing than a pleasure one, and the relief so fleeting, it's hard to say if it re-sets anything anymore.
Funny how that is. I’m dealing with this too. I also seem to crash hard following an orgasm, and I don’t like it. So I’m trying to figure out what to do. Giving up orgasms seems to be the most logical thing. But theory and reality as you know don’t always play well together.
I used to have good luck with edging to the point of orgasm, then having a ruined orgasm, while squeezing hard the pc muscle (the one we use to stop peeing, mid-stream) to hold back the semen till the contractions subsided. Doing that, I was usually able to avoid the dreaded mood drop that could last for days. Thankfully, the emptying I've been doing (supervised) lately hasn't resulted in an orgasm of sufficient intensity to need more than a bit of ruining, and no mood drops.