I am relatively new to this, just got caught up in some forums, loved the idea and have recently purchased a chastity device. The question i have in mind is how to i find a Mistress/Key holder to whom i could be a slave to? Or someone who would hold my keys and decide if and when i will be allowed release? Help is much appreciated, thank you.
There are a number of forums chat site etc where you might be fortunate enough to both find someone who both wants to be a keyholder and more importantly wants to be YOUR keyholder. I would think that although this is quite possible it is extremely unlikely that you would find a compatable partner in all other respects using this method. Personally I would suggest first finding in the usual way that person that you do not want to be without and for whom the feeling is mutual. Then find your own way, to slowly introduce the idea. Sarah Jameson has written an excellent book on this very subject. Be Careful What You Wish For The book helps explain your need / wish to be locked and more importantly perhaps explains many of the benefits to your partner and prospective KH of having you locked. You can read much about the book on many forums this one included. I have heard nothing negative about it, apart from the odd comment by obvious nuts or ignorant people. You can of course address all the issues raised in the book yourself. I would think however for an lifestyle of a lifestyle choice to your prospective partner from a KH's perspective this publication seems to press all the buttons and be affordable. It's a damn sight cheaper than any decent CD. The author also has available, for purchase but possibly well worth it, a letter of introduction to the subject of male chastity. I'm just saying that this particular book does appear to dot all the is and cross all the ts. and leave little if anything out. There may well be others equally good that I have not yet encountered. I imagine that every person on this site that does incorporate some aspect of chastity play, it is after all always only a game, has found their own way of introducing the idea to their partner without the need of a book. Well ok only half of them had to introduce it, but usually it is introduced by the person wanting to be locked to the would be KH. Some directly, others not, that of course depends entirely upon the nature of the relationship and the people involved. If you have a good solid relationship with a healthy and mutually satifactory sex life I'm sure either partner should be able to at least broach any subject to the other. On observing their intitial reaction you may then better determine how much effort you will have to put in to make your wish a reality. This is another possible route. There are any number of interesting related articles available on the net. ie. Devotional Sex is one topic, Tantric another either of these and most others rely on self control and no device but once one of these concepts has been successfully introduced to your relationship then you relinquishing control would be the next step and you wearing a CD a later one. The important thing is to realise that once the idea for the game you want to play has been successfully introduced it becomes no longer just your game with your rules it now belongs to you both. Consequently the game will evolve and it remains up to you both to determine how it does so and in a manner agreeable to you both if the initial success is to endure. I do not think I can stress enough how important it would be initially for you to be able to show your partner the advantages to them of indulging you on this, then once implemented their experience of the benefits will encourage them to let the game become a more permanent aspect of your sex life or your life-style depending on how you both want it to develop. I wish you luck which ever route you wish to take in finding a significant other. You will probably need it I know I need a damn sight more than I've had to date.
You are welcome. By all means check out some other too if you want. Or at least look at some independent reviews.
I was in the same dilemma as yourself for several years. I finally met a girl and married and for several months our sex life was pretty normal, then we experimented a little with mild bdsm. She found this way of life very uplifting and soon introduced chastity into our way of life. We have now practised it for several years and she has become more and more demanding. I think now that she enjoys it more than me. Good luck in your search.
You could also put adds on sites that you are looking for a kh. The Lost and Found here or on other BDSM sites where you could add all your other interests and kinks.