Why are you in chasity?

I love giving over control of my erections and orgasms to my wife! When I'm locked I feel so much closer to her and love how she's not concerned about my pleasure when I'm making her cum!

 

I have a very jealous wife and being locked in chastity cage brings me at least some freedom in my life.

 

I have always liked the psychological and tease/denial side of BDSM, so I love being locked unable to even get hard, I love that she has total control over if, when and how I cum. She likes the fact it gives her piece of mind im not cheating and she has the final say on any erections or emissions. I dont think she fully appreciates how sub it makes me feel and how she could take advantage of it for her pleasure yet, she still feels the need to make sure I have had a good time but we are working on it.

 

Originally, She bougt a cage for me to control my masturdation, which She despised. Once in place, it took on many more elements of control and resulting behavioral improvements on my part. I would not want to go back to being controlled my by body chemistry.

 

The primary reason is we both want me in chastity. But the came about from me being less than adequately endowed and a perpetual premature ejactulator. My pleasing of women always relied on my oral skills and consequently I became quite good at it. We realized that my penis was not really a relevant part of our sex life and never would be so chastity was a natural choice for us.

 

I was introduced to chastity by a dominant partner when she caught me cheating. The choice was simple, chastity or back to being single. I really wasn't in a position to go back to being single so for a month I was locked every morning and unlocked before bed. After a month She got fed up and the belt stayed on unless She wanted me for something.

That carried on for six months before I earned Her trust back and was allowed to unlock. I never dared cheat again but She would occasionally lock me up for a week or two just to remind me what it was like...

And so was born of necessity a lifelong obsession. We eventually split but I never got away from chastity. Eventually I met another Lady and She raised the topic almost immediately. A few moths of breaking things in and an 18 month continuous lockdown followed.

Why? Because I enjoy handing over control. I enjoy the fact that I am under Her control 24/7 and although I could escape, I wouldn't. Now that I've discovered tetherspouts even that is no longer true... next lockdown will be absolute and 100% inescapable, tools or not.

I can hardly wait.

 

Good question. Before I say anything, please note that I'm gay, so that's why I say master instead of mistress. When I first found out about this kink and looked at the men using these devices they seemed extremely attractive to me, I couldn't stop looking. And being a submissive myself, of course, I started imagining using those for a master. Since 2006 I tried on and off the cage (I have a CB6K) but my maximum was 1 month, and I shelved it.

When I retook the kink in 2023 and began to get serious and get my metal cages, I was more into it because the fact they are made from steel makes me feel more like a slave, and I want to... have a non-functional penis (at least for sex) which is the closest to my castration kink that I will get. I want to have a useless and small clit, and focus on getting pleasure only from anal or nipple stimulation. Downsizing will get me there eventually, and I'm not in a hurry. I have a remote master who keeps me in check, and after many hardships, I think I'm getting the hang of my current cage. In my mind, I'm not a man, barely a male with a non-functional dick, that is eager to please men with free dicks. My ultimate goal? finding a partner who enjoys having me locked and submissive (and finally getting to the nub cage). If only...

 

I got into chastity by way of my other big kink - bondage. Came across the kink while scouring the internet for things to jerk off to, of course. Reddit, other stories sites, etc. (I've never been one for video porn, just ... not my thing)

Anyway, when tied up, I wanted long bondage sessions with lots of tease and denial. My wife was less into those, it was a lot of work for her and not a ton of reward (she never got really creative to figure out how to make it work for her). And I wanted sex that way all the time. It led to a lot less sex overall. So one thing we'd fallen into was the tradition of me getting one of these sessions as a special gift for my birthday.

Seven years ago - instead of asking for the bondage, I asked her to try chastity and to hold the key. That first weekend was interesting, but the orgasm I had at the end was mind-blowing. It was like the perfect combination of tease+denial and bondage to really get me going. Since my wife didn't have to do that much she agreed to continue beyond that weekend.

That was the start.

Flash forward about six months ... was doing chastity on and off for that time (mostly on), went through the basic few starter cages until I had found a Holy Trainer v2 and was comfortable enough in it for true 24/7 wear. She really liked the way it looked on me, and in that period we had more "sex" than in the previous probably two years. Though most of the time I did not cum often and she came a lot. She really started to like climbing on top of me and rubbing herself off on the cage. Knowing I was feeling very little other than her warmth and cum as it leaked around the edges and holes onto my penis. (sigh...)

Fast forward to our our yearly vacation to the beach at the end of summer. I went caged, but after some fun during it I stayed uncaged. And came home uncaged. And stayed uncaged for about 6 weeks till we hit our anniversary. That was the key milestone. I was seducing her as part of the festivities and she made a comment like "you can't do that, you're caged" and I said "no I wasn't!".

And she stopped everything with a "What?". I explained I hadn't put it back on after the trip. She was ... not mad exactly, but disappointed. We ended up having some fun that night, but we also had a talk. And she realized she really preferred me to be caged vs not. She realized she liked how I was treating her when I was locked up more than when not. I was ... more touchy-feely, more caring, a little more submissive to her needs in day-to-day life.

And that's where she took full ownership of the key and told me in clear instructions that my default position was now to be caged unless she granted permission otherwise. That was over 6 years ago. It's been quite a journey and a lot of fun.

 

Just revisiting this after a total why are we in chastity experience! So why are we in Chastity? So that we can remain pure and honor our wives / Keyholders / girlfriends or whatever we have. My situation was a perfect example of why we are in Chastity and how we maintain our commitment to our KH. We were approaching day 7 of me locked up, keep in mind that I start to leak somewhere between day 7 and day 10. My wife advised that she was close to that time of the month so we should make time soon to have QT (our code for it). When I hit her up today she advised me that her period had started so no deal. My response, O.K. no worries, I am and will remain locked up for you for at least the next seven days. I got so hard in my cage just knowing that there would be no way out. I am currently in a Lori's Tube secured with a PA Piercing. I consider myself handy with tools but as I look at my situation I see no way out with anything I have in my garage. And all I can say is fucking great! It is what we want, it is what we desire. Not having any control. Being horny and not being able to do shit about it. It is so invigorating. Fucking Hot for sure!

 

My KH/Mistress/wife would get very upset if I had jerked off and she wasn’t around to watch or participate. So now I am locked up and can only have any pleasure when she thinks I deserve it. It does keep me very horny, especially when she plays with it and bounces my balls up and down. She gets a lot of pleasure whenever she wants it.

 

I discovered it online and it made me more than curious. I am impotent and need pills (sometimes the pills work, sometimes they dont). I introduced it to my wife and asked her to be my keyholder. She was not sure about the whole thing but eventually came around. Now she loves being in charge of my keys. Wearing the cage takes away the pressure of not being able to get an erection. We went from a sexless marriage to playing around very often now. I love giving here multiple orgasms without PIV sex. She is also loving the fact that she gets alot of attention from me. She now is a firm believer in my chastity. I do not believe she will let me out of my cage often. The benefits to her are too great and she loves it. I honestly never thought it would go this far. But here we are... permanent chastity.

 

I'm in chastity as a last ditch attempt to inject some intimacy in to our 38 year marriage. My wife has a long history of body image issues, combined with depression. This lead to what could be referred to as a sexless marriage. We've done a lot of counseling over the last few years and got to the point where we got along well together, but lived as cordial roommates. I dealt with a lot of anger, resentment, and frustration in counseling. I had also, over the decades, developed a strong habit of watching porn and taking my orgasms into my own hands.
A couple of months ago she really started trying, and came home a few times and asked if I "wanted to play". Unfortunately, every time, I had already masturbated. At 65, and with all the associated long term issues , I wasn't going to be good for a round two, and turned her down.
I had read about chastity and ordered a cheap eBay device and waited. One evening we were enjoying a drink together and our discussion lead to personal matters. I decided now or never and asked if she would like to try to one more time to work on our intimacy issues. I was honest with her and told her why I had turned her down when she had offered play time. She was shocked that I masturbated daily, but understood why I did. I broached chastity and after a lot of talk she agreed to try it. I showed her the device and even as confused as she was she still said let's try. We are reading "Locked in Love" by Key Barret, and I've been in chastity for almost a month. Even though I've only cum three times in that period of time we've had more sex than in the last ten years! We are closer than we've been since we dated, and have been more honest and communicative than ever before! She loves that there is no pressure for sex, that she controls that aspect of our lives. I'm more enamored with her than I have been since we began dating over 40 years ago. We take time to talk every day about how things are going. She actually encouraged me to get a comfortable custom cage since this is likely going to be a part of our lives from now on! I truly didn't expect this approach to yield such benefits for us both.

 

Great Story. Glad you shared. though I have only been married for 16 years we have a very similar situation. Sexless marriage. Chastity did the same for us as it has for the 2 of you. It was nice to read a story that I could truly relate to.

 

For me it was an easy choice. I have a very small d and wife made it clear it wasn't doing her any good. I know I had an issue jacking a lot so when we started with chastity, she loved it more than I did. I'm still the traditional "masculine" role, just rarely (once a year) get to have PIV. It helps me with my size related anxiety and it's much more enjoyable for her having sex/intimacy how and when she prefers. I live to worship her.

 

Same here. Tried it once and now I want to go longer. Odd but good!

 

After 3 years of playing around with this and it eventually becoming just standard practice, the kink side of things just become the norm. If anything, for me, the question becomes why don’t you quit chastity?

I guess that’s pretty easy to answer. I feel better in life this way. My relationship is better. The untraditional sex we have makes up for anything we miss out on. Having a standard orgasm just doesn’t weigh highly enough to give the rest up.

It’s hard. Guess for the most part I have a good keyholder to keep this going.

 

I started self locking to save myself for my wife and I enjoy a little CBT.

I like removing some pressure to perform by opting for TIV sex sometimes. I like being able to please her for long periods. I enjoy this do much they I orgasm with it simulation sometimes because by enjoying her pleasure.

I like the feeling and weight of it, so I like steel cages.

I wanted power play, and denial. To put more chase into the relationship.

I like the communication that this has brought to our relationship.

I enjoy some teasing both denial and SPH/SPE (I am on the low end of average).

 

Anyone reading this thread must wonder why chastity is not much MUCH more popular. So many good reasons here, so many of which would seem to appeal to lots of people. Not to everyone, of course, but surely something like -- I'm interested in your own guesses -- one couple in ten. There are, what, about 65 million married couples in the US? Say the number of unmarried couples brings it up to 125 million couples. Ten percent of that would be 12.5 million couples. I don't know how many couples are in chastity right now but 250 thousand sounds about right. Two percent of the potential. What's the problem? If there was like an exercise or even a drug that delivered the same benefits everybody would be lining up. Is it just that chastity is so complicated? Is it that the idea of getting your penis locked up is so out of step with the prevailing culture? Is that all there is to it? Huh. Think of all the social and cultural changes that have happened over just the last fifty years. By comparison it seems like chastity could get to 10% virtually overnight. Do you disagree? What am I missing? What's the problem?

 

We started it initially because I had a very high sex drive and my wife didn’t. It almost broke us up many times. So I looked into chastity as a way I could still feel we were doing something sexual together but didn’t involve her having to have anything sexual to do with me unless she wanted to.
It was easy to convince my wife to try it, as she wanted an easy life and me to stop pestering her for sex. So I locked up and it honestly saved our relationship. It felt great for me and it pleased my wife immensely.
Then as we got deeper in to it and I had gone many many months at a time with no release, when my wife wanted it I was so sensitive that I would ejaculate almost immediately. So then we introduced toys in the bedroom. This kept the wife happy and fully pleasured and my unlocks got even further apart. Then after years of 24/7/365 chastity shrinkage started to become apparent, and I was needing to downsize often to keep it comfortable. Obviously with the shrinkage, and not lasting any time at all, I was left locked even longer again, leading to impotence.
Now I’ve entered into permanent chastity, as I can’t compete with the toys in size, firmness or stamina.

 

Awareness and normalisation. It will take something majorly public to change those (hypothetical) numbers overnight.
Like Madonna with a strapon. That sort of scale.

 

I have a bondage fetish and like the way my penis/balls feel in my chastity cage (Holy Trainer V4 Nano).

 

Self locked at times, just a kink for me.

 

Because I wanted to. Just to see what it was like. My wife wasn't so sure but went with it.
Our lives improved so much both my wife and I couldn't justify my not being locked any more.
It started as a kink. Now it just.. Is.

 

Several reasons but most of all because Goddess and i love power exchange and D/s, and to U/us a “male” giving control of himself like that is one of the most submissive and subservient acts. It is also less obvious, and therefore less likely to get me arrested, than wearing a locked metal collar and cuffs with a tag reading Property of Goddess K!.

 

It's all about the journey!