Contract Time

Ai ai smai senflecs
Eni go for doing peso ai
In de col mein seivuan
Prisencolinensinainciusol ol rait

 

i understand fear of real commitment. the anxiety of not knowing where it will take you. not being sure you should trust someone with your life. it takes real intestinal fortitude to remain committed in the face of adversity. agreeing to a cnc relationship can be your gethsemane.
accepting the responsibility for another's health and welfare is a heavy burden few will commit a lifetime to. being a dom in a cnc means all your decision are for two(or more). now making life a bit more complicated to say the least yet holding the course. to truly feel the weight of real power.
i have all the respect in the world for the courageous few who choose that road. they will experience a much fuller life than those who are less fortunate.

 

Since my whole sexual orientation originates in childhood abuse trauma I am entirely unable to find fulfilment other than through the surrender of consent. Moreover, if I COULD escape bondage during a scene I’d worry I might be in a state where I could behave violently to the person torturing me. This is why I can’t go to the dentist: when someone comes towards me with intent to invade my body I’m highly likely to headbutt them full force in the face… and a dentist doesn’t deserve that! Unfortunately dentists are not allowed to physically restrain patients. I did once know a female dentist who was both sexy and deeply unpleasant, so I booked an appointment with her in the hope I could eroticise the experience and thus cope with it. Unfortunately she was mainly focussed on racially abusing her assistant, which added a whole new dimension of unacceptable and unerotic viciousness. I departed untreated.
When people into bdsm express disapproval of CNC it really makes me feel like I’m being judged as a sick freak. And ok I am a sick freak, out and proud. But if you’re going to call me that you’d better be wearing high heels and your bondage skills better be good.

 

That sounds really good

 

Yeah I’ve had loads of therapy over the years and it definitely helped a lot. But of course sexual preferences are set and hardwired early in childhood and get reinforced very strongly thereafter by the dopamine hits associated with orgasm.
Your empathic response is much appreciated - but I should also say the abusive experiences of my childhood were not of the worst kind and I’m blessed with a certain core resilience alongside the toxic burden.

 

Im sure your wife is correct about a sound marriage being a good basis for trust in these matters. Unfortunately I was not a great husband however, I worked through my unresolved mother issues in a way that involved projecting a lot of crap onto my wives and they deserved better!
As I’ve said in other discussion threads, my ongoing chastity-based relationship is with a friend. It’s a very close and trusting friendship precisely because I’m permanently locked up and the lady who holds the key isn’t hankering for anything else than my grovelling service. I guess we all have to find what works for us as individuals.

 

No judgment here, my Madam also suffered abuse and enjoys cnc sessions when submissive, she finds it very cathartic, so I can relate( I think) to how you feel.

 

In a rare instance of me taking a dominant role, I was involved once with a girl who generally wore her hair in a ponytail or bun, but signalled her desire to be brutally molested by wearing it loose. It meant that as soon as we were alone together I could grab her by the hair and do all manner of sadistic things to her. There were no safe words but she was very adept in kicking me hard in the balls if she’d had enough!

 

My Madam doesn’t allow me to be dominant anymore she submits to one of her bulls, I was unable to go as hard as she wanted, as I would always stop when she started pleading me to. And it would annoy her as I would ruin it for her.

 

I share your opinion. But, it’s a harmless fantasy that works for some folks. So I say good for them enjoy if it works for you. Each to their own.

 

We used to do contracts. Now it is she just locks me when she feels like it and I'm her sex slave when locked.

Pretty simple.

 

This is a fascinating discussion. Goddess and i have a contract but it is more symbolic and serves as a reference for the scope of O/our relationship. It lists things like the tasks and associated punishments but that is because it has grown as O/our relationship has. The duration is similar to the OP’s but again since W/we are married it’s more symbolic than anything. There is also a provision that it can be suspended at anytime upon agreement of both parties in recognition of O/our reality, including the fact that while W/we live as Goddess and slave much of the time W/we also enjoy a more traditional relationship at times and there are time when Goddess enjoys being My slave (or cunt, slut, whore, etc…).

 

Exactly this.

My wife and I had a contract that started out similar to yours in that she could end or change it, but I couldn’t, and then when we got married we signed a ‘final’ version that explicitly stated that there was no way for me end the ageement, and no exceptions to me being held to it for any reason and that no relationship other than me submitting to her authority at all time was possible between us.

I was also explicitly forbidden to talk about the rules without permission, or sharing my perspective before hearing and understanding her wishes.

She was very clear that she didn’t think of what we were doing as play, and that I should expect to be disciplined in real ways until I gave in and to truly submitted to her satisfaction. She said that the whole point of the agreement was for me to take the risk of trusting her completely.