Bad situation, any ideas?

My wife and I were at our former friend's house for a conversation. Yes, “former”. The result can be displayed in a two-line text. But I thought that the topic deserved a little more text than a simple two-liner, but I was away all week for work and didn't have the mood to write much.

Many tips here in the forum were in the direction of playing with open cards. We also came to the conclusion that it would be best to explain our lifestyle to the girlfriend, the whole lifestyle, including FLR.
Even if this honesty contained a real danger that she would reject it all as perverted stuff and break off the connection with us. After all, we have always known her to be rather prudish. She has always distanced herself quickly and very far from sexual topics. That never bothered us because she is open-minded in many other areas and a pleasant conversation partner. Because of her prudery, we also think that she wouldn't spread the knowledge she gained about our partnership around.
Any harmless reasons like keys in my pocket etc. were no longer an option due to my stupid behavior as they would have seemed like cheap excuses. Clearly.

I was present at the conversation. I'll admit, this wasn't pleasant for me, because while I definitely have a penchant for humiliating outings, it's rooted in mutual consent and more of a kink of fantasy than reality.
By the way, I find it extremely disgusting when people forcefully confront other unsuspecting or uninterested people with their wishes and concerns. Be these sexual or non-sexual matters. There is no such thing as me or my wife wearing our sexual preferences as a badge in public. That's just about the one post that I don't want to comment on any further.

I also just wanted to point out again that what happened didn't violate any laws or would result in any punishment; a lot more should have happened. It's about social ostracism and the fact that when something like this goes around as a rumor, in our paranoid society you are very quickly labeled as guilty. Innocent until proven guilty? Rather not.

So I was present at the conversation, but said almost nothing. My wife felt it would be better if she spoke to her woman to woman, friend to friend, rather than as a witness corroborating her husband's testimony.
First of all, she explained the FLR lifestyle to her from her female perspective and only then explained in the appendix what role sexual preferences can play in FLR or do play for us. I could literally feel her closing her windows of understanding more and more. This was definitely a topic that she didn't like.

My wife also took one of my cages to show her what was in the pants. This should also allay her suspicions that we had come up with something to protect me. Get such a crazy thing in such a short time to make up some crazy story? If she believed that about us then there's really nothing more we can do.
She took one made of plastic, which doesn't look as restrictive as one made of steel. Well, showing this perverted toy didn't really improve the situation. She ended the conversation by calmly but clearly letting us know that it was our business what we were doing, that she had a completely different idea of a partnership and that the whole "mess" was none of her business and that she didn't want anything more from it hear. And under no circumstances would she tell her daughter what she felt on her bottom. Not even close! Bam.

Oh yes, as we went to the door she added that we didn't need to be afraid that she would start any rumors. She now knows what happened, likes to believe it and doesn't see her daughter or other children in danger - but to be honest, she no longer wants me to come to her house alone.
My wife bit her tongue and said nothing about it. When we were outside she told me that her friendship with this chick was done..The only reason she didn't take up the cheek that I was no longer welcome was because she didn't want to set anything on fire when everything had just been extinguished. She stood behind me and I just think that's great.

So now she is a former friend. It's a shame, but oh well. Thanks again for Your advices.