Talking?

Practice. Write your thoughts down. Rehearse saying what you want to say.

 

Never had a problem with it.

 

It was like that for us at the beginning when it was new and we were new to anything kinky. We would just text about it and then in person she would have me stay quiet while she tried the things we texted about.

After a while we got used to it and can talk about it freely like normal conversation

 

It’s never difficult for me to talk about sex or sexual things, it’s my wife that makes me nervous to bring anything up because of how she has responded in the past. Sometimes if I bring anything sexual up while we’re in a non sexual context she struggles being able to talk about it and almost shames me for bringing it up. I’ll be honest I really hate when she does that because it’s like it’s her automatic response when this content comes up between us. It’s happened enough times that I’ll rarely bring up anything sexual to her unless we are in a sexual context and I can bring things up during pillow talk which she does like. It’s a difficult situation for me because I like discussing sex and sexual things but my wife gets all weird about it unless she’s tuned on. I’ve never really found a good way around this….

 

Writing out letters or texts helps get conversations started. I’ve sent my Wife many texts and still do since we started chastity, we’ve always had a very active and kink involved sex life and neither of us is overly shy talking about our fantasies or anything with sex. But for some reason the dominance swap we went through with male chastity was different.
So some things I could just bring up and talk about, other things I’d write a text to her. I’d also use texts to help encourage her too as she was getting comfortable growing in her dominance, just so she knew I was doing ok and enjoying everything she was doing and I appreciated all her efforts.
Now it’s mostly more like love letters I send every couple days as she has me wrapped around her finger and under her spell in that denial lust “high” lol.
I believe this has definitely helped her become comfortable and open up more in being dominant.
Might help in your situation too, worth a shot

 

Well it ok to talk unless She tells you to be shut up. and when that happen it best to shut up.

 

It happens. In the beginning, an email followed by getting together helped. Make it an event. Fix a snack and have a little happy hour or coffee to talk over, it helps defuse the tension.

 

This is what I do as well. I try to write her love letters regularly. She likes them.

 

We have a very open relationship and sex, kink, FLR things go in and out of conversation like anything else. We do talk a lot and spend most evenings around the dining table chatting and listening to music.

I would suggest to relax, don't worry about it and just say what's on your mind, and ask your partner to be equally frank with you.

A

 

We talk about lots of things, but not sexual as that is not allowed, unless Mistress initiates it. It is a FLR , what she says goes.
I accept it.

 

Love letters are the best. My Subby used to write very good ones. But this faded out a little. This is a reminder, thanks!

 

Well, you're not starting from a position of strength, I guess

 

Hmm. I am trying to build my wife’s confidence in her dominance, leading her to FLR. We talk about everything, you have to. Now, if she doesn’t want to hear me, she’ll tell me to shut up, or sometimes she has gagged me. But, we talk about our kinks even when we are in non-sexual situations, as life happens far more often than kink or sex. But, I try to redirect every vanilla situation into something where she can be in control and remind her that I am and need to be her little bitch. Like, if she asks me to do something, moods depending, I’ll say yes Mistress, or I’ll ask if her if she remembers that her bitch should be ordered, not asked. She doesn’t think like I do, constantly, and it is still growing in her. But, my point is, you have to know what each other likes and dislikes, fantasy stuff too, all the way.

Mistress can then either use it against you or not, for her own dominant purposes. But, having been married 30 years to a vanilla wife who has just become kink-awakened in the last 6 months, a strong emotional relationship is groundwork for a strong sexual relationship, in whatever form that takes. Be humans in love first, kinky bastards second

 

That's the most important bit.

 

Best advice I got and followed was to leave my sexual fetishes in the bedroom. This resulted in not only living with my wife and her girlfriend for 30 years, but also a fetish lifestyle that did more than you will find on fetlife, including all the yucky stuff that most do not like.

I am a very alpha male who made good money and spent all my school years in gifted student programs. I am a decorated combat vet and was well known in my area for my football and baseball skills. I cannot be submissive outside of sex. Not in my nature. However, I am sexually aroused by being submissive during sex. I could be whipped bloody and denied an orgasm after assisting the two girls in getting each other off, clean up after them in the bedroom but as soon as I went downstairs there would be a meal prepared for me and I was once again head of household but with two women, often out voted.

Just do not bring your fetishes into your non sexual life and you will be fine. If not, few people, even those slaves you see on TV who live with a dominant woman, end up leaving her after a year or two. It is unsustainable long term to be sexually submissive 24/7. Believe me when I say that there is about a two week period where playing submissive 24/7 is fun but one morning you will wake up and ask yourself why are you not having enough orgasms and being told what to do all the time. It is fun when you are honry. Not so much when you are not.

 

Write down exactly what you want to say, make a list and go over it to your self first, as many times as you need. Then when you have the conversations you will be more prepared and it won’t be so alien to you.

 

Id think yourself lucky you talk about it. I am a talker in general and constantly get in trouble for talking especially at the wrong time. I wish we talked more about that stuff, but then if I was satisfied in that respect id probably talk about little else lol