Can we talk about the subdrop/post orgasm malaise?

Yes. That’s subdrop. Irritability, mild depression, grumpiness, etc. It definitely is correlated to length of time since last orgasm, but also to the way the orgasm happens. I’ve heard others say, and can confirm it’s this way with me, a PIV orgasm can cause a much worse sub drop than a handjob orgasm. It seems issues with subdrop are why KHs don’t allow subs to cum. It’s for the best.

 

At first, my Wife (KH) and I didn't know about the "drop". But she noticed it after a few lock ups and long denials. After I was allowed to have a orgasm, I didn't want to put my cage back on. My Wife would give me a few days to recover, then the cage went back on. After longer times locked, my Wife figured out that I had no choice but to put the cage right back on after an orgasm. I have been almost a full year without an orgasm and I really don't want one anytime soon. (Like I have a choice).

 

Men are far more needy than they want to let on. They're a bit more willing to cop to it after they've been locked up for a while, but that's mainly because they're just more pliable in general at that point.

But after an orgasm, the chemistry changes pretty dramatically, and all the things that were making them pliable disappear. That can be quite a let-down.

For me, it helps to go straight back into the cage, because it's a constant reminder of my lot in life. I don't do well without it, I guess. We tried for a long time doing without the physical cage, but eventually came to realize that it does help snap my mind back around to where it should be.

The other thing that helps me is to feel noticed and appreciated as I'm going through those doldrums. You can do this to your husband in the strangest of ways, as it turns out. For example, if you don't like his mood, just tell him you might have let him come too soon, and it's obviously causing an attitude problem, so you'll have to adjust his schedule accordingly. And whether you are just joking or serious doesn't matter -- what matters is that you're paying attention, and he is seen, and he has to acknowledge -- even if only to himself -- that you are in control. It's at least partially a game, and one that he will appreciate knowing that he has a partner playing with him.

One other quick warning: At some point, if his attitude is bad, you may be tempted to "help him" by relieving his frustration with an orgasm. My suggestion is to pause that thought, and instead to conduct some experiments with what actually works best, and you may find that the "bad attitude" time is actually the very best time to put him off a few more days (that's true for me, as it turns out.) Or you may find that it works better to reduce the time so that he doesn't reach bad attitude stage. Or you may find that a swat on his bottom with something unpleasant makes both of you feel a bit better about his attitude. But just the act of running your experiments (even if they seem cruel) will likely have him dramatically more smitten with you than you'll know what to do with.

 

i had dreadful depresses and had to have pills to get me better. but now i am on my pills from the GI clinic i dont have that no more. and im lots more happy.

 

I think everyone has covered this pretty well above. After I cum there are 48 hours where I’m grumpy… I don’t mean to be, I don’t want to be… it actually takes more work to try and not be. Usually by day three my hormones are balanced back out and I’m happily rubbing my wife’s feet, doing chores and asking to lick her. It’s really crazy, it happens just like clockwork.

 

I'd buy that. The body is a crazy thing. It's probably why we shouldn't have tried to define it as much as we have. Grumpy == lack of desire? I dunno.

 

I am the sub here. My usual state of mind is pretty positive but the last day or two I was in a, weirdly for me, agitated mood. Feel a little better tonight so perhaps it is already passing.

I wasn't mean or a jerk to anyone but found myself with just a shorter fuse with people I am usually fine with.

 

I have always experienced post orgasm depression which leave me somewhat sad, grumpy, and lethargic, it's a real thing, and for me it can last a week or so: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Post-coital_tristesse

It's one of the benefits my GF seized on with chastity.

 

Hmph. Could explain my mood and feelings of late. First I went on a bender with alcohol then I went on a fapping spree, and now I feel severely unmotivated and lethargic. I need to get myself back on track. But I won't ask my wife to cage me again, I don't want to seem like a needy male chastity slave cage addict. I'm sure it's going back on soon anyway. When she wants.

 

Normal sub drop. Many KH's do not like this, my wife/ KH being one of them.

You can shorten his down time if you want.

Males have this non submissive feeling after we're allowed to cum. Caged males feel more manly and really not like a submissive should.

Two things that help a great deal to snap him out of it are, have him eat his load. It's not easy to start doing as it's one of the last things a sub male wants to do after he cums. Eating it reminds his brain of his status. Cuts down time to almost nothing. The other thing that was mentioned, putting him back in his cage right away.

The last thing a male wants to do is go back into his cage after he cums. The second he stops pumping his load, hand him his cage and tell him to get it back on. It will very difficult for him to go back in the cage.

You're showing/teaching him he's your submissive and he'll do as you wish. That you will not tolerate "sub-drop" from a gift you have given him.

The double whammy is putting your cage back on AND eating your load! Zero sub drop!

I'm not allowed many releases. The other fool proof way is to deny releases and keep him chaste for you. He'll be top form 100% of the time

Good luck Mistress

 

I don't think that's the sub-drop / malaise of males often discussed on this forum. The linked article indicates it only lasts up to 2 hours. Related articles report that it involves clarity of thinking for the male because they aren't experiencing a flush of sexual hormones.

This article suggests that post coital dysphoria is something that has been observed in men but requires further study to define. I don't think the medical community has studied this sub-drop phenomena yet. But the NIH may do so in the future. "Results indicate that the male experience of the resolution phase may be far more varied, complex, and nuanced than previously thought and lays a foundation for future research investigating PCD among males."

 

The emotional drop is a real thing. Much of it is physical and hormonal, and that just takes time, how long depends on the guy and his age, but 2-7 days is a normal range. And some of it is mental or psychological, especially for husbands used to longer lockups. I feel let down, feel I've disappointed myself and her by giving in even though I enjoyed it. I'm locked months at a time and it can take me weeks to feel normal again even though I'm locked and in service again to my wife. I've gotten to the point where I miss having orgasms like a real man but know they're not good for me and ask my wife not to do it.

 

I'm starting to sense the danger of this slippery slope I'm on that leads to where you are.

 

Oh, I saw that, but "days" is not "common". I still think that article refers to something different than what is being discussed in this thread. Sub-drop seems to be more commonly reported among the men on this forum.

 

Yes, that's sub-drop.
Here are some things that work for us to prevent sub-drop and, if it does happen because of a failure to follow these guideliines, these help get me back to the place I was before release / orgasm.

 

Sub-drop is more related to the end of a scene, rather than the post-orgasm blues, which is what the OP is asking about.

Sub-drop;

• https://www.modernintimacy.com/understanding-addressing-sub-drop/
• https://jenniferbene.com/2016/12/ask-me-anything-what-is-sub-drop/
• https://arcaneadvice.com/all-lessons-a-z/aftercare-vs-sub-drop-know-the-difference/
• https://www.submissiveguide.com/safety/articles/sub-drops-emotional-side

 

I will check for that.

 

Back to the orginal question...

I believe the length of denial matters. The longer the denial, the less impact an orgasm has. Poossibly because it is not satisfying and it takes away the nackground hum of being horny for a while.

 

“length of denial matters”

I believe this is true also, as my orgasms have been cut way down each of the last four years to now one full orgasm per month, I experience very little drop from that one orgasm. I’m right back in the cage and still horny and missing the days of having sex multiple times, being able to have multiple orgasms within a short span of time etc.
As someone else said, it can make a difference how the orgasm is given. It makes a difference for me whether my Wife allows my orgasm from piv or a handjob. The piv one gives me more severe drop, between 2-4 days before I’m completely back to my fully submissive mindset, and the handjob release is usually almost zero drop. I believe it has something to do with the mental side of it, I feel very submissive having to lay spread out being forced kind of to get the orgasm out of the way sort of, instead of being allowed to be pumping away like the one in charge if she’s letting me have piv and cum. That’s basically only allowed for my bday and maybe for our anniversary now.

 

Some good information. Knowing will help with future drops so I am at least aware and ready for short term mental changes.

 

I have a different experience. Maybe because I am not in a FLR and the period between orgasms is, on average, 5 to 7 days.


But I don´t feel depression or grumpiness. My wife says, in a playful way, that I get cocky for 24 hours. After that, I go back to been high on sexual drive (kind of horny) so I go back to lot of attention (always looking for a hug, massages in bed before going to sleep, etc).


Truth to be told, I have never been denied so long that it become a problem. So far, I am still wondering is there would be changes in my mood or behaviour if a went a longer period of denial. But I don´t think that’s going to happen any time soon.

 

As I got older, I noticed the post-orgasm enthusiasm for chastity & obedience began to drop more dramatically. I also experienced a general grumpiness. I'm no longer allowed to release, but when I did, I found that being made to lock up right away helped a lot. Also, eating my cum helped, but I realize that's not for everyone. Just a few thoughts.