How do you get a Sub back into the right mindset?

What makes you think she's not a strong D (outside the bedroom)? Sounds like she's quite strong, especially since she'd domming her way, with her style. And you're quite receptive to it. It works. She's getting what she wants.

What would she need to do differently to make her "strong"?

 

I associate someone who is a dominant strong individual to be taking the lead more, being more intentional about planning what they want to happen and expressing it, being a little more demanding, etc. She's much more passive in many areas of our life together.

 

That could be a very rewarding experience for both of you. Worth a conversation, it would seem!

 

How many times I’ve been there … holding back getting deeper into submission loving that intense desire to serve her every wish knowing that it will all disappear so quickly and trying not to enjoy that arousal I feel while deep inside her comes crashing down … nothing else like it… time to start over again. Oh, well that’s the game we are playing.

 

Them? How many may I ask.

 

I think your not understanding to what degree different endorphins effect moods, and mood changes.

 

This is quite a bit like our relationship in some ways. My wife doesn't want to have to work at being in charge, and she doesn't want to have to work at being respected, and she doesn't want to have to work at being adored by me. She just wants it, always, without any effort on her part. It's not "fair", I guess, but what does "fair" have to do with anything? I wear a metal cage on my fun bits, for goodness sake, so I don't think that "fair" enters into this. At the end of the day, she's happier if she's in charge, respected, and adored. And I'm happier if she's happier. So in some sick way, it works.

Our relationship isn't 50/50. It's more like 80/20 and headed to 90/10 and probably beyond. And it's not easy. In fact, it's brutally hard for me quite often. But somehow I'm almost always happy to oblige. She has me by the balls. And I wouldn't run away even if I could.

 

Perhaps only a half dozen or so now since I’ve taken a step back from Mistressing . Months ago that number was much higher. If you have any other questions, feel free to DM me

 

There is no one thing that will return you to your previous state quickly. No magic pill that will help the process along.

Only time will help and that is your real test. Do you have what it takes to keep doing what you need to, even if your heart is not in it?

When this happens to me I remember what a wise Warrior had taught me:

"Thou hast not to like it - thou hast just to do it."

You don't have to FEEL submissive or FEEL like doing what you are supposed to do and that's ok.

As long as you DO what you are supposed to do.

That is the real test.

(and five bonus points if you know who said that quote)

Iso.