Grumpiness

Yes it’s perspective.

Before you would be on that high from time of arousal to the point of orgasm. You would do that multiple times as often as you wanted that high.

Then you started chastity and instead of having that high multiple times… you stayed there. Your body and mind are kept at that height, instead of being up there for minutes you are up there for days and weeks.

Then when you finally plummet, the high is over. You traded minutes of foreplay for days, and the perspective is now different. You aren’t looking forward to the high, you are disappointed in experiencing the low.

 

Consider yourself a dopamine junkie, and that frequent orgasms keeps you bubbling along in an artificial high.

If you have some time off your body adjusts to less dopamine by turning the receptors up a touch, making them more sensitive.

Later, you have an orgasm and you flood your system, spiking with pleasure, the drop is going to be harsh.

It's more complex than that, of course, and everyone is different, and so there is no good answer that will suit you, and that answer will change as you age. You just need to find the right balance. I'm aiming for zero orgasm and zero ejaculations.

Anna Lembke, in her book Dopamine Nation, discusses dopamine and the effects on the mind and the body, and is well worth a read. You can find some interviews with her on YT too.

 

I find there is also the aspect (likely related to the biochemistry/endocrinology) of the "drop" in losing interest in ones partner (get grumpy, lose attraction and affection, lose desire). The drive to find another mate that is often described in a sociologic perspective..."once he's had her, go find the next".

I think this can be offset by immediately caging back up and resume the teasing and play to bring oxytocin levels (and thus connection and attention) back in focus. I think an important chastity-associated bit of aftercare regimen.

 

I think its good to get a "drop" after an orgasm, i see it as a penance for being allowed to cum

 

A drop can also be a nice change of pace and relaxing after a long lock up with lots of teasing and energy through the roof.

My last drop (after 33 days...longest so far) was a mix bag. All that energy gone was a stark contrast and I was able to just relax for a few days. But the drop pulled my mind and attention away from my wife, which didn't feel good to me. And she picked up on it big time.

 

Hi from the cheap seats, if avoiding orgasm is key to avoiding the drop and the associated grumpiness as discussed in this thread, then how do we maintain prostate health and avoid the grumpiness after-ejaculation? These two goals seem to conflict with each other. I’ve tried the “ruined” ejaculation but still feel the drop. One thing noted above that I did not consider, is that I did not get right back in the cage immediately. Need to do that next time. Trying to learn here thanks.

 

Your body maintains prostate health just fine without the need for massaging or ejaculations.

At the very least your prostate gets a mild internal massage every time you take a dump, and that will expel anything that needs to be expelled.

 

Longest I have been without a orgasm is 2 weeks, and yes I was quite miserable, I don’t have the so called drop after orgasm

 

I also get a drop of 48h after I cum. My kh did notice and mentionned it is the main reason why she wants me to cum less from now on

 

We experimented with all different lengths of time between orgasms, or when she’d allow them she’d give me a few over the span of a day or a few days and then a long lockup again, all different scenarios over the first couple years of playing with the cage. And what we found is different things have some big affects on subdrop for me. If she allows me to have piv and cum, the subdrop is worse than if she gives me a handjob orgasm, and I have almost no drop even if she gives me a ruin and then a full as long as we go right back to the normal life of chastity for me. But really this last 8-9 months, I have had very little subdrop at all, mostly it’ll last maybe the day after but it’s usually less than that even. Now she did allow me 4 orgasms over 3 days for my 50th birthday this January, that set me back about a full 4-5 days before I felt back to my eager Sub Hubby self.
I don’t really get any grumpiness, mostly just not interested in being locked up, I get the blah feelings and think about how maybe I should ask to stop chastity. And then I realize my Wife will never go for that, and I truly don’t want that either and eventually I’m back to normal lol

 

We’re very new to chastity, but I had an orgasm 24 hours ago an have felt no sub drop yet at all.

 

How long had you gone since your previous O? Were you in chastity 24x7 since the previous one?

 

15 days since previous. 24/7 whole time.

 

I just went 19 days without the big E cum with permission. Longest time…. During the denial period my desire to please and serve grows and grows with time I become very attentive so each time she wishes PIV and no E it grows and I feel like I never want to cum…. But of course that is not happening and that is why when I finally lose control I feel a big drop taking some time and attention from the mistress to alleviate, I’m there now, waiting for help. I love the feeling of being submissive to her now I don’t…maybe a good spanking would help.