hi all, I am new to the site. I am here for getting to know new people, to get more knowledge. I have been in a relationship for many years. The relationship has always been based on equality. During the years we have been part of one of the oldest BDSM organisations in Denmark. We have been very active members there. We also had a shop which sold BDSM items including some of the early chastity belts. This is already quite a while ago as we are longer living in Denmark. Our relationship has come to a standstill. No more BDSM (and sex). Very infrequest we visit a prodomme together. Chastity is not something we have tried a lot. We had some of them while we had our shop so we had examples for ourselves to test out. I was called Houdini as I could escape. I had hoped we could have some spice in our live. Perhaps chastity would be it. A remote hold one would add even more to it. I had seen the Cellmate which know has a very 2. Anyway I am happy to get to know you. I have no strings attached. If we can have fun/be social together then lets talk Thanks foxsub
I hope you and your partner find a path forward, and maybe chastity is it. Let her be in control and you follow and, who knows, maybe it will work.
You posted this in the "Do you keep track?" thread, but I thought it best to respond here in your thread. I'm sorry to hear that things have really stagnated for you and your wife, have you figured out why that happened? I don't imagine that's much fun at all. Chastity might be a way forward, but it typically only works when the wife is involved. Self-locking is an option but eventually, if you can't get her involved, you will start to lose interest. Good luck my friend.
Thanks for the reply. No idea. We got to know each other many years ago and we had a common interest femdom. Well it is though more Top and bottom. She was never much for dominance but liked the sadism. We have even been to BDSM summer camps in Denmark. But at home it usually was no energy to do so. In our first place we lived together we even had a specific room with a cross and a sling. After a couple of years we moved to Denmark and were heavily involved in the scene there. However this didn't mean that we were playing. We also had an online shop where we sold our own leatherwork and related products which we imported. We sold CB2000 to start with. good on movie but the product broke fast. When the crisis broke out we had to shutdown the company and after that it got a lot more quiet. Our involvement in the scene became less and a few years later we moved back to the Netherlands. Here we tried again by visiting pro Dommes together where is was 2 on 1. Not perfect but it was a possibility to be active again and try something new. Than corona came along and everything is very quiet. We are of course not the same anymore as we met. Not as young and 'attractive' anymore. Going for self locking is also not so fun. And how to explain when you are in the same bed. Hey honey, what is the metal thing doing around your penis.
Do you have any ideas how you might get something restarted, regardless of whether it's kinky or vanilla? Do you have conversations to try and assess what each others needs are? It can't be good for your marriage long term to go entirely sexless. As for self-locking, going without masturbating and with a device always attached can be arousing in of itself, it is a way to feel like you're doing something kinky, even if you're doing it by yourself. But it does get lonely after a while. I've done it while I wait for my wife to slowly get more onboard with the ideas of chastity.
Well I try and do something kinky. I have tried with some hypnotism where you trance. I have looked into sexscripts where you are also instructed to do something. But like you mention it is a bit lonely and there is no control. If you were instructed not to cum and you did anyway. no one to punish you unless you did yourself. We have many bdsm toys so that is not the issue. It is just not the same if there is no person to be interested in you. I did locktober but without the chastity device. Again not super exciting. So I continue to do soulsearching to keep the kink going.