I'm not sure if anyone else here has this same worry. My Mistress and I are pretty committed/serious about chastity (it feels like me more so than her sometimes however). She has me locked in a Lori 8C with a PA pin and only she has access to the keys (usually bank or safe at home). Throughout the course of our lockups in the past she has made comments about me not wanting to fuck her when we discuss long term lockups. That's absolutely not the case at all. I really want to fuck her all of the time, but the sense of power and control she has over me in keeping me locked up and unable to cum is overwhelming. It's such a feeling of euphoria and when I do get unlocked, I feel like it's not how I belong (if that makes sense). Of course, I don't want her to feel unappreciated, dissatisfied, unloved or neglected in any way. I am constantly wanting to please her sexually by giving her orgasms by going down on her, using her vibrator on her, my hands - I'd love to use our strap-on on her, but she doesn't really seem to want to explore that at all. She stresses that she is very much invested in wanting long term lock-up but it doesn't feel like she really does. She'll seem to want to let me out too often. She thinks that "I" need that, to be let out- and I absolutely don't, her keeping me locked and being unwilling to let me out is exactly what I want. I want her refusing to let me out, denying me, only allowing her to have pleasure. She says it is what she wants as well, but it doesn't always feel like it. I will probably bring it past her again but I also don't want to upset her. I'm not really sure what to do.
I always overthink things and believe I did something wrong if the routine breaks. Communication is key.
You say you want to fuck her all the time. But, it's likely that she observes you carefully at each unlock and she sees your disappointment, "I feel like it's not how I belong". If that what is what she's picking up, then she will feel rejected and in my opinion that's not fair. Once my wife became comfortable with: 1) My device was safe for me long term and in reality never had to come off to maintain hygiene. 2) I really mean it when I "beg" to come out and if she said "NO" that I would accept it and not pout. 3) That when she let me out, I would cooperate with any form of sex the SHE was interested. I became locked 24/7/365 accept, when she takes me out for wants, needs, whims or desires, which happen to be roughly twice a week. I never complain about being let out and do to the bondage that she insists that I'm in when the device is off I can complain all I want to about going back in, to no avail. Just my 2 cents.
If your mistress is requesting sex from you, i would agree if i were you. Her wish is your wish. The only thing to do is to tell her that you shall remain locked till as and when she wishes sex again. The male chastity is to prevent one way stimulation and self-centered pleasure for himself. And i think you are achieving it. Your desires are forced being contained but you have every opportunity for a great escapade with her swings once she allows uncaging, albeit too often as you are slightly regretting. To keep your desires high and to be further “frustrated by her”.. keep ejaculation free until the next moment, another moment.. and yet another moment. Unless she wants your sperm.
If her needs and desires are not being met in favor of your kink, your relationship is in trouble. It sounds like it is time for the two of you to have a glass of wine and a talk. Explore what you both need and figure out a solution that serves both of you. This won’t be the last such conversation so it is worth getting comfortable doing it.
set a regular time ...daily weekly monthly whatever as long as its regularly and fixed.. where you sit down with no other distractions and discuss where you ar e both at where you want to be and how you think things are going.. these talks will be needed less frequently as time goes on but its best to ensure you will always have them
Had exactly the same experience. My wife wondered why I wanted locking up. I’d get the occasional dig about not even fancying her anymore etc. She would be upset by a lack of sex. It wasn’t until I explained to her the change I felt within myself and showed her research into the hormonal affect that caused this greater sense of well-being that she changed her opinion. She now doesn’t feel sex (or me even having an orgasm) worth the change she’ll see in me. She keeps me locked whether I ask to be out or not. We’ve embarked on a lifestyle I didn’t expect, but overall I’m happier than I ever have been. I’d say she seems much more content with life too. Just discuss it with her and your reasons. If you do just want to be locked up so that she can use you to satisfy her… then be realistic. Her allowing you out to use your penis for her pleasure comes with that. If you don’t want to be in control then don’t try and decide how long she should be locking you up for.