No opportunity because of sex

I think every parent here has been there, and feels your pain….and lack of sleep.

I think 6 months is a little early for sleep to be consistent, so you may need to wait it out for a little longer. You may have to think of some options to help the two year old not hear the infant.

 

Do you use a sound machine? Our daughter is 2 1/2 now and has done well since early on. As long as the sound machine is going. But we started with that from day one so I’m not sure starting later will work. Maybe? She might end up in bed with us at some point but we have several hours. At 6 months, she slept well so we were lucky. Good luck making some time, hang in there!!

 

Please be assured that you will get though this. There is light at the end of the tunnel, but it may be just around the bend and out of sight. Sex just has to take a back seat for a while. Before you know it, they'll be at school, then maybe university, then married, then kids and you can smile knowingly and wonder where the time has gone.

Have you tried leaving a radio on at low volume when the 2-year old goes to bed? Maintaining absolute silence is impossible, so good for them to get used to sleeping with background noise. You can turn the radio off when you go to bed.

Beware of allowing the 2-year-old to sleep in your bed for too long, as this becomes a habit and is very difficult to break. As he/she gets older, you should be able to reason with him/her and insist on he/she stays in his/her own bed. Sometimes you just have be strong and tough it out !

Babies learn to manipulate you from a very early age. They want your attention and soon realise that all they have to do is cry and they get it. Generally, if they stop crying the moment you pick them up and they are not hungry or needing a nappy-change, then you know there's nothing wrong. Try putting them back down again and let them cry for a bit. Once they realise that they're not getting instant attention, they stop crying and go back to sleep. I really do appreciate how tough this can be, but a crying baby doesn't mean bad parenting.

Good luck.

 

Another thing is find them a favorite television show. A good distraction for a few mins. Even now, I try to get hard every time I hear the Curious George theme.

 

Sometimes babies are not a problem that can be solved (in the immediate corcumdtances), but rather a near term disaster to be survived until they grow out of this phase. The good news is they do grow put of it so hang in there. Before you will know it they will both be off to school.

 

I laughed when I read this. For me it was "The Tele-Tubbies". Our youngest (of four) is now 18, so most of the effect has worn off!

 

All in all, this should be a good time for you to be practicing chastity and being caged. You're not likely to have any good sex for quite a while anyway, so accept that, be of great help by getting up with the kids and let your wife/Mistress get the rest that She deserves!

I sense that doing this will really be appreciated and make you long term life much better!

 

I have to second @DonnaSue's advice. You may not need the chastity cage so much as the children are serving as your cage. But you really needs to make sure you step up with helping with the kids so she can get some sleep too and helping with the chores around the house so she can get some rest. If you can set up some schedules so you share the duties maybe alternate nights and the one on duty sleeps with the 2 year old in the child's room when he wakes up.
Do you have some family members like parents or siblings who would understand and give you a break one evening?

 

Our toddler is nearly 3 years old now and we’re still going through a similar situation. The little one has really bad eczema and can hardly stop itching throughout the night.

We’re just perseverving for now, it’ll feel like everything is on hold and the relationship isn’t going anywhere sometimes but ultimately it’ll strengthen your relationship over time.

Use this as an opportunity to grow closer and be emotionally intimate, that’s my advice to survive this phase of life.

 

Coconut oil helped mine.

 

One thing I’ve e noticed is that we tend to prioritize differently as situations change.

First start dating…we stay out late on work nights, go the extra mile to spend time with each other, and try to get in each other’s pants. Sex is a priority.

We get married, we are happy and excited to show our happiness to the world. We still go out on dates but not as often, we meet other couples. We limit dates and staying up late to weekends and time off. Sex is still a priority, but getting rest and maintaining the status quo comes first.

We have kids, our focus is on the child, we rest when they rest, eat when they eat, and our social lives revolve around their schedule or become non existent. Sex is so far down the priority list we don’t even see it as an option. Child, sleep, money, work, daily tasks, emergencies that pop up, maintaining your life….then maybe sex.

The only way to change things is to prioritize differently and make the effort. It might mean that other portions get ignored because they are pushed further down the priority list when sex bumped back up.

This is no easy task and will not be perfect by any means. It’s almost impossible to relax when either she or you are stressed, tired, or feel like your failing at something. It only takes a few minutes however to do, and is more about not letting life push you around, then actually the time it takes. Couples can squeeze a few moments in if they make the effort. Yes sleep is important, and sex won’t be the hottest when you are just waiting for a scream in the night, but decide what is important. If a couple decides they are going to make intimacy work, they can make it happen. Just might have to adjust.

 

Ours would not sleep all night for over a year. Up multiple times a night. We where so stressed out and at the end of our rope.
Someone suggested putting a full size adult pillow in the crib instead of a baby sized one. At first we thought that might be dangerous but we did it.
The first night with the full sized pillow he slept through the night and every night from that day forward.

Give it a try

 

I do not think television a good thing - people in general are sitting too much in front of TVs already so I would not encourage my kids to do so.

Another way could be to bring the kids to their granddparents, other family or friends once a month.Their grandparents are out of reach for the moment, but our kids usually stay with friends overnight 1-2 times a month.Of course their friends stay with us sometimess overnight too, but that is little more effort for creating some free time for the both of you. And the best: The kids love it !

You kids might be a little young for that, but maybe in some months their grandparents would willing to take them (or just the older one) in once in a while for overnight.

 

Start by asking your wife what she needs from you, in order to have some time and energy for you.

For what it's worth, this is a hard journey ...

 

Sleepovers at grandma and grandpa's were much looked forward to events that usually had the best intentions of kinky sex nights but usually turned into early bedtimes for us too.

 

My father was a pediatrician. He said this was always one of the biggest hurdles of young parents. If your child does not suffer from some type of baby issue that causes him to cry then this will apply to you. My father told me that perfectly healthy babies cry. They do that for attention and there is nothing wrong with letting them cry. It will seem cruel at first, but you have to wait him out. He cries because he knows you will come and get him. Depending on the stubbornness of the baby, it could take one night or one week. Our second child was sleeping through the night after 4 weeks.
We made the mistake with our third child (who was a girl) and put her in a crib in our room. I was up every hour for the 2 weeks. One night I just couldn't go without sleep anymore and put her in the crib in her room. She cried for 2 hours and fell asleep. By the end of the week she was sleeping through most of the night.
Babies cry and there is nothing wrong with letting them cry. Of course you have to make sure nothing is wrong, but a healthy baby is going to cry for attention. If you keep giving it to him when he cries, then you are teaching him that crying will bring attention.
Good luck. Parenting is hard and no child is alike.

 

same here! And we were very lucky that her mom lived quite close.

 

So only thing I can add to this over a lot of very good suggestions already is. 1- never let them sleep in your bed. Let them come visit, Let them know you love them. But let them know that they sleep in their bed. 2- Let them cry a little before running in to see them. If they learn that if they cry, you are right there. You will never get rest. If they learn if they wake that they don't need you to go back to sleep. then they will go back to sleep with no crying .

 

This may sound a little out of left field but I’ve lost count of the number of babies this has helped…..

Take the baby to a osteopath that specialises in baby cranial massage. During birth, both vaginal and C-section, the baby’s head gets squished and does always go back to where it should be creating pressure that stops them sleeping. The osteopath gently massages everything back into place. We’ve know a number of babies who’ve had their first proper nights sleep the same day as the massage and others v soon after.