My Submissive Journey

So I've been off and on in the submissive lifestyle, with some deep dives into sissification, but I always felt I rushed to the edge of my limits, then pulled all the way back.

A Sub Exists To Please. This was my internal mantra, and while it's true, I would often use this as a reason to ignore my own boundaries. To dismiss concerns raised by my body.

This led to some awful meetups, and left me shaking in bed, fighting back tears, disgusted with myself, yet still not fully understanding why.

I put in alot of hard work, and I took pretty much a complete break from anything sexual that involved another human being.
Throughout this time, the main thing I learned was that I just wanted to be validated SOOOO bad. I had such little confidence and respect for myself that I NEEDED to get it from an external source.

So I'd ignore age gaps of 20+ years. I'd ignore the way they never wanted to see my body, just a piece of meat dressed up to please them.

 

Now I'm training at my own pace, secure and confident enough within myself to truly be submissive.

I'm able to give up complete control, because I now have the strength to put down my firm boundaries.
My only problem now is consistency and structure, so I figure if I write this someone, even if no one reads it, it'll be a way to keep myself on track. On Task.

I've got a mix of sissy clothes that kind of fit, chastity cages I didn't measure properly, and no clear idea where exactly I should go next, so I'm starting small.
Nub small to be precise. I've had alot of issues with proper long term chastity, being a filthy foreskin haver.
Apparently the smaller the cage, the less odds of pinching. It's an added bonus that the smaller I go, the more at home I feel in myself