I am a man that was in a bad relationship. She was a good woman, we just weren't a good fit... I was looking for attention... Sexual at first, then any. Then I discovered chastity and decided to see if embracing a less sexual more controlled lifestyle paying non sexual attention would help... It didn't... I wanted to pay attention to her and me getting off became less important. It was interesting. I embraced chastity all on the honor system. I actually stopped masturbating. I did buy two devices but didn't wear them often. I got healthy hobbies and became a better more reliable parent and partner... I became accountable... She wasn't really interested... Our sex life was gone. She would drink herself to sleep every night, and didn't know or care if I was even sleeping in the same bed as her... It became maddening... Several tragic losses of family members happened in a row and the stress got to me... I pulled the trigger... Dovorce... I packed up and left. I cared about her very much, but needed to learn how to care for myself. The stress was so bad I couldn't even function sexually... I threw out my devices... Now I find myself in a new relationship... I am rediscovering my sexuality... Her sex drive is way higher than mine... I can't keep up... And the scarry part is that I still fantasize about chastity... I mentioned it to her in the beginning, and she said that sounds fun... But it was at a time when I was sexually broken... If I brought it up again it she would do it... All the way without question... With an evil grin on her face... I think before I was scared that my ex would lock me up and forget about me... This time I think my girlfriend would lock me up and pay attention to me... Sigh... I think about buying another device and seeing what happens... Or I could just keep going without one... Living the dream in reality and the fantasy in my head...
I think you have an opportunity that not a lot of guys get. You have a woman willing to try a kink with you. Bravo. Get a cage. Talk about parameters together. Tell her you used to enjoy chastity fantasies and aren’t sure if it’s still something you want to do but would like to try it out together. If you both love it......, fantastic. If you don’t, you’re only out a couple hundred bucks for the high quality cage you should buy. Not terrible. (And for gods sake don’t throw it out this time. You never know when the chastity bug might bite you again. ) I’m happy for you that you got out of a toxic relationship. One that you did everything you could to fix. A lot of guys would have gone down with that sinking ship but you broke free. Time to have some fun.
Have her help you pick a cage that will add ownership, and may peak interest so she will do research and have some understanding
Well if you are thinking about it and it sounds like you are, and she is at least willing, which you indicate she is, try it out. Do like jvabox suggests. Talk with her, she if wants to help find one to play with. Who knows what might happen. Better to know now than have regrets later.
Such a good idea! Have a little fun browsing at potential cage purchases together over a glass of wine. If she’s truly of a similar mindset it’ll only add to the sense of ownership... and if she sees a particular cage and says that she thinks it’s too big for you then you’ve hit the jackpot
I think @Locked Sam nailed it. Bring it up, then go slow. You have a lot to sort out and a new relationship. Glad you are on a positive path forward!
Lots of great advice here! I'm going to take my time, mention it in casual conversation, and see if she says anything positive. If so I'll start a casual conversation and see where it goes!
It's burning inside you. That's unhealthy to not share with her. Communication skills are good for every relationship; work on those, and don't rush things. Be patient with yourself; you went through some bad times, and you're not fully healed. That's ok that things take time to heal. Sending love, and wishing you happiness on your journey.
If she has said the idea sounds fun just order one. It's just another sex toy like handcuffs or a dildo. Keep with that mindset, it's just a bit of fun. If you both enjoy it you might chose to ramp things up a bit or not. Regardless you will both have some fun and find out a little more about each other.
This new relationship is so different from my last... We were intimate twice yesterday. This morning she was getting frisky so I took care of her needs then went to get cleaned up. I came back and she started touching me and mentioned that she was hungry for breakfast. She wanted to eat after... So I told her that it would be hot to get turned on then have to wait until after we ate... she got totally into it teasing and touching me the whole time I cooked talking about how hard it must be to wait... After breakfast I had some chores to do so she got into bed ti rest... When I was finished with my work I returned to the bedroom... She looked tired so I watched videos on my phone while she fell asleep on my shoulder... Sooo... Now I know she's ok with tease and denial... Hmmm... I'm going to go on the honor system for a bit before I ask her if she's OK with a device...
Trying the honor system is a good toe in the water. Also, be honest with your interest and say it's bouncing around in your head. Be fully honest, say you're hesitant to order it just yet, but you're liking the idea. If you do order it, make sure you have a way to throw a red flag if it gets too much. Being honest about nervousness and hesitation and that something is gnawing at you on the inside can help, even if you don't order it she at least knows what's eating at you. She can't reassure you or be a supportive partner if she doesn't know something is stirring.