Just squaring the circle so I don’t continue to hijack soulcynder’s thread I posted this on his thread earlier, which brings me up to date, subject to a following post update. Hi all, and soulcynder in particular, First post (will post a separate hello thread shortly) but I am also considering the same scenario. We are a couple in 30’s who very infrequently have sex now (kids,lives...) I am toying with the idea of telling her I want to stop masturbating, as it’s lazy sex that I benefit from, but I deny her any intimacy, as dare I say it, sex seems like the harder work option. I’m tempted to be a bit jokey about the ‘reveal’ at first and see how she reacts to the next bit which is to say that: To assist in that I’ve bought a physical deterrent (I.e. a cock cage) that I’ve tested out a couple of times and it’s comfortable and I want us to try it out... or I might say: please keep an open mind as what I’m about to show you may seem a little extreme, but is far more common than you’d realise behind closed doors. The root of it all is that I want us to have a better sex life and if it takes me locking myself away so we have sex on better terms, that’s what I’m going to do.
So I decided to go for it after a bottle of wine I went in for a cuddle whilst watching tv and over a period of time her elbow and then her forearm rested on my CD. She must have known it was there but she’s a sensitive soul and said nothing. Some time passed and I wished she would break the ice. More time passed.... plucking up a lot of courage I put her hand on my CD. She laughed at first and said have you got a chastity device on? I played my best alpha, took the lead and said “yes, it’s because I masturbate far too much and I want you to be the only one (all true). She chuckled but after some bantering accepted the 2 keys I put on her tiffany necklace. she says if I behave we will have sex tomorrow. That’s cool with me, as long as she cages me afterwards.
Welcome, and I'm glad to hear that it's turning out well. Sounds like you've started on an exciting journey!
Today went really well. She had a wry smile on her face when I climbed out of bed with the cage still on but she seems to be accepting all of this so far, I just don’t want to push her too much too soon. We went out shopping today, I found almost every woman more attractive than I would normally. Knowing I couldn’t act on it (even in a hypothetical scenario where I wanted to) made them all seem like forbidden fruit. I obviously didn’t say this to the wife! We went for a run together and I asked if I could take the CD off for that. She saw that could be sore and let me. Once back I had a shower and I asked if she wanted to see how it clipped together. She watched me clasp the ring together (I have a hinged ring) and then I asked if she would slide the cage on and pop the padlock on, which she did. The next bit was amazing. The device came with 3 keys. I had clipped 2 on her necklace last night but kept one on standby as I wasn’t sure how sleeping in it would be. However I asked if she would leave one key on her necklace and then hide the other 2 for emergencies somewhere I won’t find them. She’s done it! I am now without access to a key other than the one on her necklace! This has all happened very fast and very much better than I had hoped. I chose a weekend when the kids were with the mother in law for the weekend (in our covid bubble for those who understand what that is), so they didn’t put a different dynamic on things and we’ve just had such a lovely day together now. I feel so relaxed. I have sold it so far that this is likely to be for a month or so, but I think she genuinely is accepting of it, so we’ll see! thanks for your friendly comments above.