Like so many others I am a long time lurker, over 2 years, first time poster, my apologies if I do something incorrectly. I really enjoy writing so thank you if you read my post, I've wanted to share for a while but have held off, sorry this is so long. A little about me, I became interested in chastity after watching an episode of a program called Sin Cities in which the hosts went to different cities around the world and checked out the sexy side of the city. Places like Amsterdam and Berlin to name a couple. Anyways the one host was interviewing a couple that practiced the chastity lifestyle. Later the host put on a chastity device and went to a strip club and try as he may a hard on could not be achieved. I was incredibly intrigued and thought about that program for years. Finally a couple years ago I bought a novelty device for too much money and tried it out. I loved the feeling of being contained. After managing to self lock up for a few hours I thought I would talk to my SO about my love of this side of my sexuality, even though I didn't really know what that was. I was so nervous, it takes a lot of courage and trust to tell someone about your kinks and when doing so the vulnerability is incredible. She was surprised but also supportive telling me its ok if I want to explore something important to me. She has already supported me in my desire to wear thong underwear and leggings everyday. I was concerned about being judged as not being manly for the thongs and leggings and being seen as a pervert for wanting to explore chastity devices. She has said underwear and comfy pants or exploring my sexuality does not change her opinion of me. In case anyone thinks I am being judgemental I am completely open minded to what others want to do. I have explored some cross dressing trying on women's thongs, jeans, leggings, swimsuits, high heels, skirts, pantyhose, stockings and garters. Honestly I do love women's clothing but do not crossdress, but I do wear some leggings made for women but mostly have men's, I also exclusively wear men's thong underwear. I suppose this helps satiate a desire to dress feminine. My SO is a wonderful strong woman who doesn't care what others think of her, take it or leave it . We have joked on occasion that she is the man and I am the woman in the relationship. She is tough and has many masculine traits. She rides a Harley, has been to firefighter college, works in a male dominated occupation, prefers the company of men and has a dominant personality. In a disagreement her go to emotion is anger. She is very vanilla and likes PIV sex, a little bit of handy work and very infrequently giving oral, but does not at all like receiving oral and her butt is EXIT ONLY!!! I am sensitive, worried about being judged, and care what others think about me. Outward appearance is a bit nerdy, fit, neat and a bit boring. I love carpentry, construction, running, bike riding, hiking, trees, rocks, water, mountains, leggings along with thongs both wearing and watching . I am likely to be hurt in a disagreement and have a submissive side. I am am much more kinky than her though. I like butt stuff, chastity, bondage, spanking, giving oral, piercings, CFnm, crossdressing and legal voyeurism. When I was younger I had told one person I trusted that I felt i was both male and female. She told everyone and I was bullied terribly for it and I worked very hard to suppress that side of myself. I always loved tight pants but my father and brother making fun of me for wearing tight jeans as a teen made me change my wardrobe to conform to societal norms. In my later adult life I've given myself the freedom to explore the feminine side of myself, reading many articles on transgender, cross dressing, and of course chastity. I wear thong bathing suits on holidays, thong undies every day, leggings, chastity devices, tight jeans without fear of judgment. I do wear these articles of clothing outside the house and have grown confident enough to not care as much about what others think, the joys of being in my mid 40's!! As for my other kinks, she is completely not interested in pursuing those with me. We have had a lot of huge changes in our lives the last year. Moving to another province and back due to a death in the family, new pets, menopause, near breakup and continuing work stress. I would like her to become my key holder and she has said she would but is not interested in any other side of chastity in the realm of FLR, tease and denial or anything else that is read on this site. Our sex life has gone from 2 or 3 times a week to 1 or 2 times a month. I used to clean the pipes 2 or 3 times a week but after she explained her ex husband never self pleasured and she was put off by the idea of me masturbating. I decided to cut back and have been trying to remain chase mostly unlocked, and its not easy. Today she wore a thong under her leggings and that makes me almost delirious with desire, I'm now self locked as I don't trust myself to not release the tension. I am trying in my own mind to practice making myself mentally tough by working thru the desire to masturbate. When I was married I became bitter and angry when our sex life all but disappeared due to mental illnesses and the meds associated with treatment. I realize it is a sickness and did my best to work thru it but I suffered from an incredibly strong sex drive and she was fxxking hot!! Fast forward to my 40s and we are no longer married and my sex drive has waned but I still desire my sexy lady, and she is not interested. I do not want to get upset so I go between locking and unlocking but had PIV sex once in November and gave myself a ruined orgasm while locked. A self ruined o is still cheating in my mind and I am trying not to do that, but I have moments of weakness. Due to the enormous amount of information on this site I have since bought a couple Cherry Keepers which I love and an A271 which is not quite wide enough for my girth but until I order a Jailbird it will have to do. I enjoy beyond words the feeling of tightness when I'm locked up. The feeling of a suppressed erection is intoxicating. The build up that takes place while wearing a device for a week or 2 reminds me of being 20 again, horny beyond words!! Thank you to everyone for sharing their experiences. Anyways if you read this far I thank you. This is my first post and due to anonymity the most honest I may have ever been outside of my own head. I will continue to read and may contribute to a few threads I have thought I should add to, but until I introduced myself I didn't think it was appropriate. Thanks again for reading. Thongkini
Thank you for such an open and honest introduction! Welcome to the Mansion! I know you’ll find lots of good information and supportive people here.
Welcome to our community. i'm glad you found it helpful enough to post such an open introduction after observing for so long. Hopefully you'll continue to find it enjoyable and perhaps helpful in resolving your own situations. Good luck and enjoy.
Thank you for your welcomes and acceptance. I also thank you for taking the time to read my novel. I have learned so much from this site and the shared experiences of others. My learning curve is steep but with the knowledge gained from others on this site I'm leap years ahead of where I would be if I was trying to figure it out all on my own.
Hi, Thongkini. First of all, thanks for the recommendation for the thongs. i took a look at the site and am thinking about ordering a pair after the holidays to see if I like them. As I read your post, I identified with a lot of your story. I began to realize that I was gay in my early teens, but it was the early 60s. There was nothing "gay" about being a queer or faggot where I grew up in the South. So, I hid in the closet. It took me a long time to come out. First of all, you have to come out to yourself, which is perhaps the most difficult step, but then coming out to others is risky. It takes courage. I'm glad that you found that courage to come out to your SO. Well done, you!
Thank you so much for sharing. I can only imagine how you suffered trying to hide what was "You". Im thankful the world has changed and you are now free to be You and have embraced all that is special about that!! Well done!!!!! Yes it has been an interesting journey over the last few years. Im sure with my chastity journey just in the early stages Im in for a new realm of exploration. Ive just completed a full week locked except showers and device changes, my longest to date. It is so fun learning new things about yourself.