Guided by a Force Much Greater than Luck

So, I've been involved in chastity and orgasm denial over a decade. I want to say I first discovered it as a fetish back in the early 2000's. Definitely joined this site almost 11 years ago. Haven't been active until now. I'll start out with a little info about me/us. We aren't the typical couple seen on this site, which is something that has kept me from posting to a large extent until now. After this introductory post, I'll share what we have going on now, as well as some past true stories (I journal about a ton of things, so I can go back in time as it were and pick out some interesting moments of the past 11+ years).

Our couple: average, late 30's suburban couple. I work a lot in technology management. My wife has largely stayed home as a mother for the past 10 years, but recently returned to the workplace part time. We've married about 15 years, and together significantly longer than that.

Her: she's the light of my life. Adorable, petite, smart, and cares for everyone in her life. She is also inherently submissive. This would surprise most people who know us; she is an introvert, but not quiet. She speaks her mind and has strongly held opinions.

So, my wife is submissive, I'm the strong silent type. Generally, I'm in charge of things; at work, at home, and in my social life. So, why am I here? and what does this have to do with chastity and denial?

Well, I really dig it. There isn't anything quite like the feeling of being on edge after 2 or 3 weeks of teasing. Nor the feeling of swelling inside a little cage as we flirt after dinner. We started off with edging and stretched out play sessions. We found that both of us enjoyed the action of edging me. After a while, I brought up the devices I'd seen online and stretching the play out over multiple days. On the first point, my wife was reluctant - she wanted me to be in control after all - but on the second, she was happy to oblige.

We continued in this casual orgasm denial setup for a while. At one point, I was working on a major project, but struggling to make headway. As we were connecting one evening, she asked about the project and how it was going (it was a major factor in a big promotion I was being considered for). I lamented the slow progress, and that I just didn't feel like it was going anywhere. I don't remember whose idea it was, but we arrived at she was going to tease me daily and I wasn't cumming until the project was done. It took about 2 weeks after that, but mission accomplished, and the explosion was spectacular.

The next time a challenge came up - I think it was a home renovation project that had dragged out for WAY longer than it should have, she jumped immediately to "I'll just tease you until you do it for me" - well, it worked. It was during this project though that I took matters into my own hands after just over 2 weeks. When my progress stalled in week three, and I didn't seem as desparate as before, she started asking about it, and I admitted it. At that point, she said something along the lines of "I guess we will have to get you one of those little locks you've been on about, huh?" - say no more. I ordered the first device the following day.

It didn't really fit. Cheap metal device, and I was way too optimistic in the shaft length. I wore it off and on for a little over a year. A succession of more successful devices followed. I bought a Custom Chastity Ghost, then waited and waited what felt like forever. It worked a lot better than the early metal and plastic devices. Still messier than I would like. I got a couple of the later Chinese steel devices. Much better, more open, and cleaner. I was amazed that I could fit into the "short" model, but later discovered it was very comfortable. Finally, after using those for quite a while, I had some slippage issues. I decided to try the Cherry Keeper. It works very well, and is the most comfortable of any of the 10 or so devices I have tried. That's it for devices / gear.

OK, wrapping up the intro here - this (orgasm denial and chastity) has been a fetish of mine for about 15 years now. I've managed to include my reluctant partner in my fetish, which she enjoys occasionally. It certainly isn't a full time pursuit for us - probably 90% of the time we are in a more male dominant relationship. Even during what we've taken to calling "a motivational cycle", I call most of the shots. It works for us. I'll follow up with some true stories here about how we've used chastity as a motivational device in the last decade or so, but next post will be where we are today. Stay tuned.

 

So, after the historical brain-dump above, I'm here because I am currently working my way through one of my wife's "motivational cycles". This is the most recent of several in the past year. The past 12 months represent the greatest percentage of time I've spent locked up and teased of anytime in my long history with this fetish.

You see, I'm in grad school. With the COVID craziness, the structure of deadlines with school is virtually evaporated, and I'm faced with waning motivation and a Capstone project to complete in order to earn the degree. So, five weeks ago, I started the large volume of writing necessary to complete this project. We're looking at about 140 pages and 25-30k words that I have to put together. About a month ago, I had my birthday, and with it a very enjoyable session (male dominant) and with it 2 strong orgasms for me. The next day, we discussed and agreed to have a lockup coinciding with my project. So, we are now 3.5 weeks into this period. I'm 75% done with my project, and starting to climb the walls. Last night she took the Cherry Keeper off and edged me for over an hour. I was within a stroke of climax at least 10 times. Maybe by this weekend, I'll be done with the project and can enjoy the fruits of my labors.

 

Thanks - it has taken me a really long time to come around to the idea of even posting on this site. On the one hand, I really enjoy tease and denial, and yes, wearing the device is pretty high on my list too. But on the other, there just aren't a lot of people in this fetish coming from my viewpoint.

The common thread on couple's who find "what works for them": communication.

 

Approaching 4 weeks of orgasm denial right now. I'm still working from home, and it's summertime for the kids, so they and the wife are here most of the time too. We haven't had a whole lot of time; just a few stolen moments here and there. Up until this week, I've been content with being a little horny, and haven't used a device much. This week I put the Cherry Keeper on Sunday afternoon and it has been off twice for sessions.

The current goal is the completion of my grad school project. As soon as this is complete, this session is likely our last for quite some time, which is bittersweet for me. We will definitely enjoy ourselves, but a big part of me wants to keep the high that comes with weeks of build-up.

 

I wrapped up my project last night shortly before bed. Submitted for grading and final approval this morning. Last night we played for a good while. I was locked in my Cherry Keeper since Tuesday morning. I brought her off once by fingering her while we were making out like teenagers. This is one thing we definitely agree on - we both love how a chastity session makes us like young lovers again. Following that, she wanted me on top of her, so I was unlocked. I had to work quickly to get the base ring off - once the cage comes off, I got hard that fast.

That brings me to something. I realized the other night that she always has me remove the device - she turns the key, I do the rest. She also always has me put it on. Only well into a session, do I get instructed when I should be wearing the device. A handful of times she has closed the lock (more so with older, padlocked devices than with the new ones with Magic Locker). Having a key holder close the lock is hot! I should bring up that it's different for me when she does it, rather than just telling me to. Also that I'd really like her to work on removing and installing the device some. It opens up new avenues to play, but I think she is afraid she might hurt me. A very early cage featured two small metal posts that interfaced with the base ring, and once upon a time, she pinched some skin between the cage and base ring, which broke the skin near the base of my dick and was not great to say the least.

Back to the present; I jumped at the chance to enter her, and we had a great 20 minute fuck. She grabbed her favorite toy and added it to the mix which made her climax again very forcefully, then reminded me that I couldn't get mine until I had a final grade and was officially done. I managed to keep the need at bay for a while longer, and made her go off one more time before stopping. I never figured we weren't done for the evening yet.

She rolled over and slid a hand up and down my cock, checking my reaction. Shortly, both hands were focused on bringing me to the edge. She likes to alternate between two hands on my cock and her right hand sliding down to cup my balls, or rub on my taint, or slide into my ass. (Who am I kidding, it drives me wild, too). She edged me like this for another 15 minutes or so, all while whispering in my ear about how I was almost there. By this time, it was almost 1 AM, so we headed to sleep.

I'm not sure how soon I'll have my grade. It could be anytime between now and the end of the month. So, the clock is ticking on this session; sometime in the next 5 days, it will be over. Part of me is relieved. Another part of me is enjoying the feelings and sensations. That part of me tried to negotiate another session to follow this one. It's not happening, not right now.

 

Definitely a group effort. I think I'd rather put it on at her instruction to avoid pinching - it still happens with pretty much every cage I've tried to a greater or lesser extent. I think (but I'm not sure) that this comes back to me more as 2 things:

1. I'd like her to be comfortable removing the device. We've already had times where getting my hands to it were difficult either due to bondage, or just the way we are situated. It'd be convenient for us if she felt confident in unlocking and removing it.
2. Access to the key is a power play. Even though I'm typically dominant, I recognize that chastity is a chance for me to give up control; having 24/7 access to the key (essential to put ON the magic locker) makes this less "real" in some ways. We talked about it this afternoon. Future sessions I'm going to put the device on and give her the key. She'll use it when she is ready to. I can request it be used for exercise (I ride a road bike and it's not great for riding). I think that's going to be a good move for both of us.

Hi friend, thanks for the comment. Yes, everything is a testament to the power of communication. It can't be an avalanche. I discovered the T&D community back in the early 2000's on another site. Some posts there started talking about chastity, but at the time I was more interested in just improving our lovemaking through things like the karezza technique. I talked with her about it, we tried it, and we found we liked it. From there to just not finishing during sex wasn't a huge leap; all it took was something along the lines of "Hey, you just had a great orgasm! I love that, let's say we stop there?" - sure it was a fetish in my mind at that point, but it didn't have to be anything crazy. Things SLOWLY evolved - and only because we kept talking about them all along.

 

Results are in, and tonight's the night. After just over 3 weeks of waiting, I feel like I'm in high school again.

I know that I'm not the typical male member here; but for me, chastity comes down to an interesting play piece. We have fun with it, and we celebrate when I achieve a goal we've set out. I can't say enough about my wife, and her willingness to step outside her comfort zone a bit and embrace this style of play. Our recognition of my primitive motivation has brought us a long way in life so far.

So, this post is probably "it" for a while on my chastity journey. The plan is to put this dynamic on the back burner for a while and fulfill some of my wife's submissive desires that have taken a backseat a bit in the past several months.

I finally got the genie out of the bottle and started posting here, and then a week later I'm done with chastity, crazy right? No, I won't be going away. I'm going to instead share some of the things that have happened over the past 10 years of chastity in this space. I think it is important that a different viewpoint emerges; there isn't anything wrong with anyone who embraces a fetish like this one. Be they in a 24/7 D/s relationship, or more into cuckolding or cross-dressing, or a trans-woman, or like me one of those odd dominants who likes just a little taste of less control from time to time. All are equally valid, so I'm going to keep posting. This will be less a daily accounting, more a recounting of my journey. Whenever we return to it in the present day, I'll be sure to update that here as well.

 

Life comes fast. Towards the end of June, we wrapped up our latest session of tease and denial play. Around the same time, I returned to work at the office after months of work from home due to COVID. My wife returned herself a month later, and now as full-time for the first time in almost 12 years. We're just now managing to find our groove with both of us working and the kids back in school. Since the end of June, I've been on a dominant streak, and we've had some great fun. As summer turns into fall, I broached the subject of us participating in "Locktober" again this year, and she enthusiastically accepted. We've discussed at some length, and I've done a couple days to re-acclimate to the device. All seems good, so later this week we're switching gears, most likely on Thursday night.

 

It's October 4th. Last night was the first time we've had time for any sort of play session since the 29th. On the 29th, we had a great time, and I came really hard twice. It was probably the most tender, vanilla style love-making session we've had in a long time, and we both really enjoyed it. Plans were to have another repeat on the 30th so I could start the month on a "clean slate" as she likes to say. I got home super late from an event and she was already asleep. Honestly, I expected it would be fine, and we would make it up on Thursday. Thursday morning came, and she insisted I get locked as soon as I was done with my massage appointment. I worked an odd overnight shift Thursday into Friday, and stayed in the cage of course.

On Friday, my workday was fragmented, I hadn't slept but an hour. Got up with everyone else, and took the kids to school, then came home and fell back asleep for a few hours, went to work for a few more, and came home and slept another 4 hours. We both relaxed for several hours Friday night, but ultimately went to bed with me still caged. She teased the cage for a while (Cherry Keeper standard with 48mm ergo ring) and then I gave her an orgasm with my fingers before we drifted off. She told me where the keys were, and offered for me to unlock overnight if necessary. I declined, and we dozed off.

Saturday morning came and I took off the cage to clean it at her insistence. Shortly after, I got called away to help a friend move (the joys of owning a pickup truck!), and didn't end up getting home until about 9 PM. So I got to spend most of the day uncaged. Upon getting home, my latest order from Cherry Keeper had arrived. I picked up a "Short w/ Touchstop and Large headlock" (the old CK is Standard with medium headlock) as well as a 47 mm -8 degree ring with ball hook (normal for me is a 48mm 0 degree ring). For disambigouation, my old one is blue, and the new is yellow. I tried both parts of the yellow setup. The ball hook is MUCH more intense than I expected. It looks very innocent, but getting adjusted to straddle the hook just right is a task all its own. With the yellow cage, the hook just grazes the bottom of the cage - it will separate your boys or pinch (or both). With the blue cage (standard length), it actually goes between the bars of the cage (wouldn't work with a standard with Touchstop on the bottom is what I figure).

So, I wore the punishing ring last night for about an hour, then changed to the blue ring and the yellow cage until bed time. Then, my wife inspected the new toys for a while, and unlocked me to play. She stroked me to the edge twice, then I gave her a powerful orgasm with the help of a couple toys. After she came down from an intense orgasm, she started softly stroking me again. I asked if I might be allowed to make up for the fun we missed the other night, and she told me that was out of the question. We talked about where we were going with T&D this month - as I've said, we usually have a goal in sight, this one is just pure play.

"Well, you just came a few days ago, you can't be that urgent yet"
"No ma'am, but it'd be nice, and I do like begging, even if you say no."
"You should stop that"
"What?"
"Begging. I don't want you to even beg for an orgasm until I tell you to."
"Really? Well, how long before that is?"
"Oh, don't worry, it won't be too soon. We talked about your duration records the other night? Yeah, plan to set all new ones this month - we'll start with this - I won't even consider letting you have a ruined orgasm until at least the 18th. So, you definitely don't need to beg until then, because I won't be giving it to you, and it's annoying."
"Yes ma'am. No more begging."
"Good. Now, figure out quickly this week if you prefer the blue or the yellow cage. Soon, you'll be locked in and the keys are disappearing for about a week or so."
"Yes ma'am. Why?"
"Because I know deep down, that's what you want, and you're going to like it, even if you complain. I'm tired of stroking you. I want you to edge for me. You CAN ask me to stop when you need to, but no stopping without permission."

After that, I proceeded to edge 4 more times for her, begging her each time to be allowed to stop as I neared the edge. Once, she held out for nearly a minute before answering and I barely kept things under control. At the end, she let me sleep free until I got up to let the dogs out this morning. As I stumbled back into bed, she grabbed my morning erection, grinned, and said "Get Locked".

 

I started out the day today in the yellow cage and blue ring for a couple hours, while we made breakfast and I tended to some work stuff. She left to take the kids to the park, and I decided to change to the blue cage so I could sand the rough spots on the new yellow gear. I texted her to ask if I could access her keys to make the switch, and she replied that I should set a timer and edge for no more than 10 minutes with the ring on and then lock back into the blue right after. I did, and sanded the yellow equipment (400-600-1500 grit) and it is now silky smooth.

After I sanded, I decided to try the yellow ring again. Yesterday, it was rough AND aggressive. Today, it was just aggressive. I like the constrained feeling of the ball hook, but could only wear it for about an hour. I switched rings, but kept on with the yellow cage, and will stay there until told otherwise.

 

thanks! So far, so good.

 

One issue we have with T&D play is there’s really no quickies. As parents, who both work full time and have busy social schedules as well as young kids (2 just old enough to have their own fleet of activities), finding time for a kinky tryst isn’t a daily thing.

One thing I particularly like about chastity is that even when we can’t play because of time, we’re still playing because I’m locked all day, and she’s thinking about it all day. Lots more stolen touches and little moments of intimacy, but lots less 10 minute quickies at the end of a long day.

Coming into this session, one of the rules she set down was that in order for her to consider playing on a “school night” we had to both be finished with everything and in bed before 10:30. I’m commonly still doing stuff around the house until after 11, sometimes later so this is a challenge. Last night, I started after dinner, and cleaned the kitchen, got the kids through the bath, and read stories and tucked them in. 9:00 and I’m about done for the evening. I planned my day, setup coffee for the morning, and got ready for bed before 10 pm. Quite a feat for me. Then I did something she didn’t expect. While she showered, I lit candles, and setup our massage table. As soon as she was done, she was on the massage table for an hour long massage. I finished and she thanked me and we climbed in bed. No action for me, and that’s just fine.

 

Thanks Petey! Always nice to know you aren’t the only one like yourself in a sea of other types who enjoy this fetish.

 

Staying busy these days with a full schedule both for work and volunteer activities. It hasn't exactly left a ton of time during the week. Monday night, I got home at 10 PM. Jumped right in and helped with chores, but still got a "tsk, tsk" from the wife. We caught up from the day for a few minutes, but no teasing or anything really kinky to speak of. I was in the yellow cage (Cherry Keeper Short) from that morning, and stayed in it over night, but woke up painfully about 3:30. This was the first attempt at an overnight in this cage, and the headlock in particular is very constrictive for me. By previous agreement, I unlocked at 3:30 and went back to bed.

Tuesday morning came, and I switched to the blue cage (Cherry Keeper Standard) for the day. I wore it up until I got home, once again at around 10 PM. At bedtime, she began fondling me, and we discussed the merits of the two cages briefly. She wants to see me try the ball hook ring again for a play session, probably this weekend. I got to come out of the cage, and then was told to stroke to her instructions. I edged 5 times I think, and then was told it was time to stop and get to sleep, but that I didn't need to lock up overnight unless I was going to be annoying.

This morning, I was back into the yellow cage for the day. So far, I like the length, and the headlock size for the most part. Paired up, I don't move from the end of the cage, and can easily pee standing up with no mess. I'm indifferent / slightly non-plussed about the "touchstop". It does stop stimulation of the underside of my penis, and I'd probably be ok with a total touchstop variant now that I know the cage and headlock keep me firmly located. I just don't know that A) it's necessary and B) I like the honeycomb texture it leaves on my balls occasionally.

For anyone thinking about one of these devices, look into the stocking method if you haven't already. It's almost essential to get you all the way into a cage with the headlock system, in my opinion.

Of course, still no sign of orgasms. Based on previous sessions, it will be at least the 18th before she even considers a ruined orgasm, and very likely no chance of a full cum until sometime in November. After 8 days, I'm at a good point right now - actually about where I really like to be on the horniness / satiety spectrum that is orgasm denial. (I find 7-14 days great, past that I climb the walls a bit, and less than that just feels like I'm not having to work for it).

 

Haven't been good at updating here this month, but we've been busy. The yellow cage has become by de-facto home most days, but I've yet to overnight in it successfully. Going to try to recount where we've been since the last update briefly.

Last Wednesday, I was home all evening, and cooked dinner, cleaned the kitchen, and managed to just relax for a while. Wednesday night, we met my wife's bedtime goal, and I was rewarded by being unlocked and giving her PIV until she came twice. I asked her if she wanted me to keep going after a break (I needed one), and she told me she'd had enough. It was great connecting this way - we try to have regular sex, albeit without an orgasm for me frequently during one of these experiences, but this was the first time this time around. After she was satisfied, I pulled out and was getting ready to try and drift off, when I felt both her hands start dancing around my crotch. She edged me really, really close, and we talked about the merits of doing this with or without a motivating goal (usually, our sessions are set to me finishing a project or goal, and they end when I get it done; this one is different because it is completely at her whim, and nothing I do is dictating an earlier or later release). I was surprised when she told me she liked it being her decision, because she thinks when I have a goal, I get there too fast for her liking. She did mention working in a weight loss goal session after Locktober - but that may just be to flick my switches. After several really strong edges, she decided that was enough and we went to bed (unlocked).

Thursday, not much happened. I caged in the yellow device all day. We played a board game with the kids, and then another after they went to sleep. We settled down for bed and she told me she wanted me to try and sleep in the yellow device, and told me where to find the key should I need it. We drifted off, but I woke up very painfully about 3:30. I went to the bathroom, tried to adjust everything for comfort, but ultimately unlocked then.

Friday morning, I woke early, and reinstalled the yellow cage - being out just over 2 hours. No issues during the day. We ended up with extra kids (watching a friend's kids) for the evening and overnight, so not much happened. She unlocked me, and we kissed like teenagers for a while, but nothing else that evening.

Saturday was another yellow cage day, and I spent most of it doing odd jobs around the house and working with the kids. She unlocked and edged me by hand for quite a while, and we talked about when I might get to cum again. Definitely no sooner than 10/18, and the next time I do will be a series of ruined orgasms. Definitely no full orgasms in the cards until at least 11/3. After making me beg to stop, she told me to lock up in the blue cage for the evening.

No issues overnight, and Sunday came with me still in the larger, blue cage. We went to a farm for a fall festival thing, and it got HOT on sunday. After arriving home, we all relaxed and I did some projects in my shop. That evening, we had PIV again, and I fell asleep unlocked after a while.

Monday was a day off for everyone, and she insisted I lock back in the yellow device for the day. Uneventful day, and no play last night due to it being late. I stayed locked until waking up shortly after 2 AM. Today, I'm home with a sick kiddo. I'm also not presently locked, due to some chafing that happened on Sunday. I'm hoping that it heals up today so I can get things back where they belong tomorrow. Currently feeling great after 14 days - not sure if I want this to end anytime soon, but it's not my choice either.

 

The last week has been a whirlwind, to say the least. With a little stomach bug that worked its way through our house (nothing more major, to be thankful), we were variously home most of last week. Sex wasn't particularly on the menu, and we didn't even attempt overnights because neither of us were getting any sleep anyway.

By Friday, everyone was sorted out, and we all returned to our respective places of employment and learning for the day. Friday night found us enjoying our first play session of the week, in which we had PIV sex, and then I was instructed to edge by hand for 15 minutes.

Saturday was birthday celebration for our daughter, and was full of cake and presents and friends stopping by. Saturday night, I was again extracted from my plastic prison, this time to receive a butt plug and quite a lengthy tease at her hands.

Sunday...whew Sunday. I didn't get some things done I wanted to, because we ended up taking a kid to urgent care. Don't use your forehead as a battering ram... Later that evening, after getting the kids to bed, we both jumped through the shower. At her request, I setup our bed bondage set, and we set to playing with my hands restrained and blindfolded. As a surprise, I had put on the ball hook ring for my Cherry Keeper after the bath. It is intense and difficult to wear, in my opinion. She teased me in the setup for several minutes, which was incredible and intense; beginning with her vibrator on the cage and following along with her lips and tongue roaming around my constrained balls and cock.

Eventually, she relented and decided to release me from the cage, then climbed aboard and rode me to her own orgasm. I love watching her on top, and even more so grabbing and caressing her as we make love. I could do neither of these, and it was maddening. She eventually let my left hand free to explore her body as she built to her orgasm, but as soon as she was done, it went right back into the cuff. After enjoying each other, and bringing me super close yet again, she told me tonight she was going to let me cum, but it would be ruined.

Her hands again began to dance along my cock, and alternated from very light, whispy touches to more firm, friction filled strokes. After several minutes, I warned her that I was approaching a cliff and she backed off. I hung, untouched for what felt like an eternity, but was probably 2-3 seconds before erupting a large load all over my chest. I got a few seconds to rest, and then she started again, and it didn't take long. Less than 20 strokes later, I again warned her, and again released a large, oozing ruined orgasm all over my stomach. She paused again, less than 30 seconds rest this time, and coaxed yet another one from me. She said the second was the biggest load she'd ever seen, and the third was really close. The fourth followed in short order, and was very watery. Past that point, I was over-stimulated and begged her to stop. Thankfully she did so, because I don't think I could have gone again.

So, there it was - we set a new record for chastity with no emissions for me, now at 19 days. The entire draining, from the time we finished having sex to cleaning up my fourth consecutive ruined orgasm was no more than 15 minutes - but of course I was very primed to cum by that point.

What's next? Well, my current longest without a full orgasm stands at 30 days, so I might end up with another ruin session, if she chooses, but we are likely pushing this one until at least 11/1 so we can, as she loves to put it, "set new records".

 

It's been almost a year since I last posted. My old job did a return to office last August (2020) and it went poorly. After a few months of hating it, I changed jobs, and now work 100% remotely. New company is in another state entirely.

We're currently in a season of adjustment. The wife also is in her 2nd year of working full time, something she hasn't done since we became parents about 13 years ago. She's tired. I'm tired. Our sex life isn't what it was on the other side of 40. We haven't really been doing much for and with each other outside of the vanilla realm over the past year. I did a brief stint of chastity back in the spring, which ended after a couple weeks as I wrapped up some remodeling work.

The summer led to more plain, vanilla sex. Usually on Saturday night, usually late, and altogether pretty mediocre for both of us. Now schedules are back in full swing, and I'm easily more sedentary than ever before. I don't have a good exercise program, don't get out much, and spend a lot of time in gym shorts and a t-shirt due to working from home. It's comfortable, but doesn't feel like you're going anywhere.

All this and more led to me asking to do Locktober about a week before it started. I dug out the device, cleaned it good, and on the 1st, locked it on for the day. Haven't really progressed as far as being able to wear overnight, due to lack of trying. So it came off that evening.

The morning of the 2nd, a miracle happened, and we had some time alone in the early AM while the kids played outside. We shared a slow, tender session and she told me to come after making her go over 3 times in a row. I stayed free the remainder of the day, but wasn't needy since I'd been drained that morning. Sunday, I started back in the device, and have worn it consistently this month, removing it in the evenings. I've got some strong desires around expanding the lockup, and having trouble articulating them and nailing them down. We're currently not doing anything goal driven (at least she and I haven't discussed any specific goals, I just asked for lockup during October). Last year was similar.

I feel a bit weird about this; the last 2 Locktober's have been the only times in the past 10 years or so that I've been locked simply for the sake of it, not for the completion of some major life goal. Couple that I am within 3 pounds of the heaviest I've ever been. I need to exercise, be active, and lose some weight. But we haven't set that as the goal, just "October". Add to that I still haven't been able to sleep in the Cherry Keeper short with any consistency. During the day, it's much better. At night, I can't fall asleep or stay asleep. I don't want her to have to release me every single day just because. But that leads to the other conflict I'm dealing with. I work from home ALL DAY long. She and the kids are out of the house ALL DAY long. I've been good so far, but I really want her to take charge of the keys and not leave them where I have access at all. But if I need to be out every night, and / or need to change cages twice daily, that's unfair to her because I'm just making more work for her to do in keeping up with them and managing them. If I could overnight without issue, I'd be content with an emergency key somewhere at the house that I don't know about and the other staying in her purse or car full time. In that world, I'd also be more inclined to ask for goal driven chastity / denial surrounding my weight goals.

I type all that out, and it seems so simple. Keep doing Locktober, don't plan on a reprieve this month (she's already said she wants 30 days of no emissions) and work on the weight thing + the sleeping in the cage thing as much as I can. If I can make progress on both this month, then we talk about it and see if we are both ok with moving forward on a 24/7, weight loss driven chastity plan in November.

 

Well, spoiler alert, we didn't move forward right away. 15 months later and not much has changed. I still don't sleep comfortably in the device. I've tried a couple variations on the base ring to try to improve comfort. The first was is a double ring. This should prevent hot spots / ball burn by giving a wider contact patch. Some days it is good. If the weather is cool, and I am high and tight it is the same or worse than the single ring. The other style is a tall oval. I love the feel of this ring, but the cage angle is too steep for me sometimes. Other times it is good. I did get the smooth PA12 material on this ring and definitely recommend that. I am thinking of a tall oval of the same size but a different angle to fix this issue.

So...that's the gear side of things. I'd still REALLY like to get that resolved so I can wear comfortably.

I'm still working from home. Wife is still working from work. Kids are still in school. There is still a lot of temptation to take matters into my own hands during the day, and I'd still like to eliminate that. We did a weight based regimen back in September and October of 2022. In 6 weeks, I lost about 15 pounds and got really active. Thought I had programmed myself properly to be successful and free. Upon discussion, the wife agreed and we moved back to a more male dominated pattern, which was fun for a while. Within a couple weeks, I started to slip on my workout routine. I started to struggle with picking up a beer after a long day. I didn't really rebound, but got through the holidays maybe 3 pounds higher than I was at Halloween.

It's clear I need to return to working on my habits. After Christmas (the 27th) I asked the wife if we could get back to the chastity routine to encourage weight loss and some other goals we have. She agreed, and then insisted I cum a couple times that night so we could start the next day.

This time, she has set up a points system for me to earn my first orgasm of the year. We're about a week into the program. From my weight on the morning of the 28th (223.8 lbs) every pound I lose gains me 5 points. Every day I complete all 3 Apple rings (she stipulated that my Move must be 750+ and my Activity must be 45+) earns me 1 point. The first round will be 50 points, and she can dock me for any reason she sees fit. I've already been informed that right after this round, there will be another round with these and other opportunities for points, but the goal will be much higher. Expect this will involve some of the projects she wants done around the house in addition to the fitness info.

She tells me how to earn points, but makes me track all of it. She is definitely getting better / more engaged with these programs, which is exciting. I asked if I could earn points for days locked - something that's been an element in the past, to which she replied "of course not, I just expect that of you now. But if you skip a day, I will dock you points". I think someone tightened my cage when she said that. I've also been informed that we will be working on overnight sessions each weekend until my sleep improves, and afterwards we'll progress to weeknights locked as well.