How to ask the question!

That’s a good question! I think it depends on how receptive she is to ‘kink’ in general... for example do you have other bed room toys? If so, are they for you and does she use them as she knows you like them or does she actively encourage and enjoy them?
Much easier to start it off as a ‘short term’ play toy... perhaps just for an evening to add a new dynamic?

 

Could you perhaps send her a link to one on a more mainstream site like Lovehoney and some playful words about how much fun it would be to try one for the evening... how you’d have to earn the key back by making sure she enjoyed her self very much for the whole time? Run her a hot bath, candles, massage... wine... pleasure time just for her...

 

Based on my own path, I think you are halfway there. We were into bdsm and switched dom roles back and forth. One time when she had tied to the bed she got on top in a 69. I ate her to her big O while she kept bringing me to the edge. I asked her is she was going to let me cum or keep me frustrated and she said she liked the idea of leaving me tied to the bed. She said she wished she could keep my cock in a box so we could not get to it.

She did leave me tied all night to the bed and I never got to cum until the next night. I remember begging her to let me cum and then thanked her after she made me jerk off while she watched. It was a few weeks later when we walked into the bdsm store in nyc and the sales girl showed us our first cock cage.

I would start with having her tie you to the bed and telling her it’s too bad she couldn’t control your cock. When she tells you she wish she could, the seed is planted. You can then tell her you heard of devices that women place on men to control them, imagine having total control, she gets everything and let’s you out when she wants.

 

i was terrified when i brought the subject of chastity up to my Wife. It was pretty early on in our marriage, we some sex toys, and just started exploring kink. I wouldn't recommend going out and buying a cage, locking it on, and just handing her the key. Talk to her, but you're going to have to take the first step. Tell her you discovered chastity, and started reading about it, and you think it might be fun to try. Look at cages online together. Maybe visit the mansion and read some posts together. Take it slow, and talk about it. Communication is key.

 

Very good advice here, especially about communicating and going slowly to start. If she is willing to try other sex toys, the idea of a cage for short term play may not be too far out of range. But really listen and see her response when you bring it up. Don't be blinded by your desire that you miss any hesitancy or concern on her part. Just because it seems safe and fun to you, doesn't automatically make her see it that way too. Good luck and enjoy

 

It will, ours started in the bedroom, lock it up for when we are having bedroom time. Then it spilled out to overnight and then all weekend long. Eventually a week at a time and longer.

You should also take advantage of discreetly wearing the cage a few hours each day to get use to long term wear. Start with an hour and double it every few days to break in your skin before you dive into the deep end of the pool. When she assumes control, you’ll be ready.

 

It is a big step to tell her. As others said take it slow. If and when you feel she's on board tell her the benefits of holding your key. It is now her property to do as she pleases. You no longer can masturbate without her knowledge. Not saying you do , but you are a male. As she likes sex it's perfect you please her orally and when she is ready she lets you out to have PIV. I wish you well and hope she embraces it.

MistressS

 

@Mark wants to be locked I had to ask too... penis in vagina

 

There is an episode of "Californiacation" where one of the ladies on the show want to put her husband in chastity. It would be a humorous way to do it but you could watch that one episode and ask if she would every do that with you, it would be "hot". LOL

 

now that’s a good idea! But if your nervous, maybe start watching the show with her from the start, and don’t just put on the episode with the cock cage in it!

 

My memory of that Californication episode is that the wife put him in a cage because of his adultery. That may not be a good introduction to this topic.

 

Theres always the old "I saw something today that I thought could be interesting...." and let her explore a few things at her own pace.

Some of what you will find on the web is pure fantasy, and has as much (if not more) chance of putting off a partner rather than turning them on, but there are plentys of threads on here that are written on bringing up the subject as well as examples of other's journeys showing that there are no rules, no right/wrong way of chastity and that its up to each couple to work on how they want things to look.

My wife was initially just "going along with it" and to some extent, she still is, but little by little she is gaining in confidence, happy to have sexual sessions just for her (well, I still get a huge buzz, but no or little direct stimulation), happy to have me wait patiently for orgasm and so on.

I certainly wouldn't do it in the bedroom just before or after sex. How much do you normally talk about your sex life, is there anything that you/her doesn't like to discuss?

Also, as a soldier, how will a cage impact your duties? That could be a real consideration too

 

Playful naughty pillow talk is always a fun non threatening way to start. Whispering in her ear how it turns you on to have her control your orgasms. Start asking her during sexual encounters if you can cum. Tell her it turns you on giving her that control. Tell her how you are wanting to save yourself for her alone. Tell her how she is your full focus and your only sexual outlet and source of pleasure. These conversations are empowering and likely to produce results. AVOID!!! The cage conversation until she is onboard with enjoying the control you are giving her. It is very likely a vanilla woman be freeked out by the cage conversation. Societal norms dictate much of how we feel and react here. Go slow, be honest talk much. You will however likely need to give her time to adjust.
Best wishes ❤️