Does anyone’s wife tell them they talk to much about their relationship? My wife and I began our FLR in September. I love telling her how much what we are doing means to me, how much I love serving her, how in love with her I am, how I love being submissive to her etc. I have always been (28 yrs of marriage) much more forthcoming in sharing my feelings/emotions than her. She just doesn’t do it often. Last night I was simply telling her while cuddling on the couch how much I loved her when she asked me why we have to talk about it (our relationship) all the time. She told me “actions not words”. For transparency sake, my actions do back up my words. I work full time 60+ hrs a week, do our laundry, take care of the dishes and kitchen clean up and anything else she wants done.
Perhaps she just wanted to cuddle, without verbal exchanges. Or, she may want more specific actions than you are currently providing. Ask her, politely, if she has something in mind as part of her 'more actions' request. The goal after all in a FLR marriage is for her to lead and you to do as she wants. Good luck and enjoy.
It's a powerful thing we feel as a submissive when allowed to live the dream and hence we want to impart upon our SO our joy. I get it. However, I've learned to show her with the energy of the emotions I feel, with my touch, kiss, embrace. Let her 'feel' you. No words needed. She is Woman, and they are very very perceptive.
At the start for us I was very talkative about our relationship and lifestyle change. I was so thrilled about it I just couldn’t help myself I didn’t realize I was annoying her. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to talk about our lifestyle but I understand how my constant talk became old. In this case she wanted to see the actions and not hear the words lol. Once the newness of our lifestyle change wore off I wasn’t always chomping at the bit to talk about FLR, femdom, etc... Ironically mistress became more apt to talk about us once I calmed down lol. So it’s not just you, it’s most of us when we start out lol.
Are you sure you're talking with her, not at her? She might feel like you are trying to pressure or manipulate her. Communication is important, but don't forget to let her lead your FLR...
I was the head of us for 28 yrs. Her being the authority in the home is still so new, fresh and exciting to me, I can’t stop thinking about so henceforth, I want to talk as well. Glad I’m not alone
In times past she has told me I talk at her. She has not mentioned it recently but it’s a good point. In general I talk more than she does so it is something for me to be aware of.
Timing can be everything too. I know my wife has times where she just doesn't want to discuss anything to do with sex (incl chastity etc etc etc) and any attempt at discussion will invariably result in a negative reaction, whether or not thats actually how she feels about something.
Think about if you were at the football, or baseball, or whatever you're interested. And it's a real exciting game but every five minutes your wife takes your hand and says "I love football" and "this is great" and "isn't this the best" and "do you love football as much as I do" and because of this you miss your team's brilliant touchdown. That would get really annoying, wouldn't it? That's what you're doing to her.
Yes my sub can do this too when he gets at the peak of the denial cycle, everything centres around his rush of endorphins at that time so he tends to want to talk about sex or play all the time. If this happens I am just firm with him that I want him to talk about something else, or not talk at all. Or even just leave me alone, but I prefer to do that only if he really can't stop. If that happens, he also gets a spanking for being too pushy.
I think there is an overwhelming reaction in most men when they get caged or dominated that they want to be ongoing, all of the time. Lets face it, put a cage on a forget about it for a week or two is not terribly exciting. So you want to tell your partner about it, describe how horny you are, in short make it a big thing in your life. The catch is, that the partner doesn't want to talk 24x7 about FLRs, dominating, chastity et al, they want to carry on as normal albeit with a locked cock and a bit more power whilst enjoying all that extra attention, love and affection. I was no different, as are many of the newly caged, new FLRs
Yes! My madam always tells me I talk about us to much, she says it’s me who is the girl in The relationship!
What was your reply to her question? She asked u - "why do u have to talk about it all the time" It seems u need to listen more and be more attentive to her needs not just yours. Its FLR after all right? U need to start adjusting to what she likes and to listen to what shes telling u. Right now she says less talk more action. U could have clarified on what more action was needed rather than justifying ur side. Maybe less of your side and more her side from now on. Less of what u like and more if what she likes. Like: Silence. Less yapping. More actions that she approves of. *** Its quite awful to think of selfish guys bullying/ manipulating their vanilla wives/gf to be service tops just so they can fulfill their bdsm fantasy. Im not saying this is your case but its annoying to read guys branding FLR when is really them living out their version of FLR. More often than not, the vanilla woman gets tired of it all because it too much pretending and work on their end. I hope this is not your case.
Good comments, My response was that after 28 yrs as a traditional “head of home” what we are doing is very exciting. It is something I never knew we could make happen but here we are only months in and it is still fresh and exciting so, I like to talk about it. She said she understood but there is just no need to talk about it so much. I thanked her for being so direct and said I would correct it. Additionally, I shared with her the football analogy from above and she just smiled at me as if to say “now you get it”.
So, when you were in charge for that 28 years, did she go on about your relationship structure / orientation? Pointing something out over and over again sets it apart as something strange / weird / not normal - even if you enjoy it. It’s similar to starting at someone you find beautiful - you’re spellbound, and goodie for you, but being stared at is uncomfortable and can make one feel like they’re being treated as though they’re somewhere they don’t belong. You seem to be verbally staring at your relationship, and that could be what’s making your wife uncomfortable. Most of us were taught early on that staring is rude, so perhaps toning your bewitched state down a bit would be polite.
Never thought of it like this. She has never been real verbal regarding our relationship. Your point is well taken, thank you.
We don't talk about it, but she likes to tell family and friends about all the housework I do and other little things I do for her every day.
People have different 'love languages' also ... I personally get incredibly uncomfortable when a partner is telling me how much they care about me and what they love about me etc. It's not a good feeling for me. Same with gifts ... I'm so awkward when receiving them and then feel horrible because I think I've made the person feel bad. For me physical touch (cuddling, kissing, being intimate etc) is much more comfortable for me. People also doing things for me (not gifts just actions) is much better received. Something to think about