Wearing chastity cage on a first date?

If you are looking for a lifetime partner, would advise against first date sex.

The women that wanted that were all insecure in my experience.

Sex for me is an intimate and bonding thing.
I want to know the person first and have that connection.

BUT THAT IS ONLY MY OPINION.(for those who think I'm forcing them)

 

Do you have reason to think she's kinky?

 

If chastity is part of your life then yes... as @durango_o said sex on a first date I would advise against and been locked with help with that...if she chooses to go further on the first date then I’m sure they will like you even more when they know what power chastity can give to a partner... and I’m sure you’ll do a good job of seeing to their needs despite the situation...if your serious about chastity and you choose to hide it then you will have to bring it up, if your cards are always on the table they can choose to play to their own advantage.

 

Why hide it ?
Should it go further, tell her about it and give her the opportunity to let you out that night or keep you locked and maybe just enjoy a first night full of talking,kissing and cuddling....
Mention carefully your kinky side during the Dinner, ask about what she likes and maybe not likes at all.
If super vanilla, pay visit to the bathroom and free yourself, and if the conversation heads into a more spicy area - just tell her about it and show her the key that maybe could be her key one day.
Either she‘ll run horrified, but then she would also not like the kink later on
or
She get’s curious, stays and......

 

Years ago, I read a forum post by a guy who said that he tells women he's dating that he's kinky and into Femdom or BDSM by the 3rd date. That way neither of them are wasting time and energy on something that may not work out.

I'd say just wear it, especially if she's outside of your friend circle. It's unlikely that she would accidentally discover it; even the second or third date, if things progress to that point, might be a good time to bring it up.

"I'd love to, but before this goes further, there's something you need to know. I'm saving myself for the right girl, and I'm wearing something to help me along with that."

Or something like that.

 

Keep the cage on. Then if you hit it off and like the girl she will respect you more for not taking advantage of her societal pressure to lock you down and sleep with you. Say exactly this “ I like you far to much to have our night add that pressure and I like you too much and want to learn more about you” then you talk all night about her and yourself. Bring casually in the fold if there’s an opportunity for kinky preferences. Do not tell her your caged tho creeper move if you want to keep her around.

 

I screwed up the words but you get the idea

 

I guess I'm the odd duck here, but I'd say don't wear it. If it is a first date you should really be focusing on other things, like her, and I would think having a cage on and the worry of what to do would be a huge distraction. When I went on first dates there was already plenty for my brain to be processing... the last thing I would need is to be focused on the cage. My other thought is what benefit do you get from wearing it? How does you wearing it do anything for her? I absolutely can not imagine anyone reacting positively to finding out the guy they went out on a first date with wore a chastity device. On the contrary, it would be a story of a creepiest first date ever.

 

I’m in the DON’T wear it club on your first date. You are bringing your kink along with you and really it’s more for you than it would be for your potential partner. I like what Tom Allen said in regards to brining it up by the 3rd date, no sense in wasting either of your time.

Seems like chastity was hard enough for many of us to bring up to our long term partners and even then I was met with skepticism once the cat was out of the bag. I couldn’t imagine what the reaction might be for a woman inadvertently discovering your chastity device on a first date. You guys start making out, she grabs you between your legs and is like “what’s that?” Then you have a lot of explaining to do and personally most woman probably aren’t going to think it was chivalrous, they’re probably going to think creepy.

 

I like your choice. First date, even with sex, were for me, always more about finding out about the other person. Focus on her, and see if who she is makes you feel more attracted to her. There is always time to explore 'alternative' life styles later.

 

Excellent point that I had not considered. I guess I've been off the market for too long.

 

I wouldn’t date a person that was so vanilla that they would freak out over a chastity cage. It’s not like you are trying to get her to wear one. Just keep in mind that women are more likely to be open minded to things when a relationship is new, especially if you have progressed to the infatuation stage.

 

I know I'm a bit late to the thread, so to speak, but I'll give this a shot anyway. I feel the OP should think about how important chastity play is for him. Is it something he *needs* in his life, something he needs his future partner(s) to be okay with? I'd say go caged, because if she's so playful she'd discover it on a first date, she should be ready to discover who she's getting involved with. The risk of scaring a lady away is probably outweighted by the risks of having an unwilling lady discover it later.
Is it simply a form of play that makes him happy, but nothing he couldn't live without? Go uncaged, there's no reason to potentially scare away a lady he might be happy with anyway.

 

I would say No cage. Even if it was the most important thing to YOU, you dont know her yet and could scare a good person off unnecessarily.

 

See, I was thinking that, too, but I realized that I'm thinking like an old married guy, and not someone in a brand new relationship. I can imagine making out, getting very touchy, and having her hand brush against a steel cage.

Yeah, definitely awkward. It might put off someone who would otherwise be inclined to participate if she weren't "surprised" in such a way. So, I guess I'd have to change my initial answer, or at least qualify it.

Person, I'd probably wear mine on a first date and explain if things started progressing, but I can also see how it would be prudent to remove it and not take the chance of freaking out the vanilla girl.

 

No, I would think coming across a cage on a first date would send most women running.

 

If she's kinky, she might find it interesting because she's already accustomed to oddness as part of sexuality. If she's vanilla but potentially open to chastity in a relationship, you might unnecessarily scare her away.

So how did you meet her?

 

I'm glad to learn that there'll be a second date.

I'm curious, though: do you feel that not wearing the device affected your attention or behavior during the date?

 

I have met several Dominant Women in D/s forums.
After a while we have agreed to meet in some cafe, and I always attended caged with the small cage.
I found it as normal and appropriate if I am facing a Dominant.

 

Not sure if you chose to wear or not but as a woman I would advise against if you want a second date. Even women who grow to love chastity often need to be introduced slowly and given the space to move at their own pace. As a once very vanilla women this for sure would have sent me running. However if introduced at the right time after some affection and trust is established she may be more likely to embrace and enjoy.

 

I see now you chose not to wear. Best wishes

 

Yep, good call not wearing on a first date. You simply can’t know a person well enough at that stage to know how they might react. Probably wasn’t a great risk she would have accidentally discovered it, but if she had I can imagine it might not have turned out well. Congratulations on the upcoming second date. Cheers.