This is my second time in chastity for more than a 24 hours. The first time lasted about a week. This time I've been locked since boxing day with a single unlock for teasing thus far. My wife seems to be taking to it quite well. She quite likes innuendo and most days she managed to slip in some sort of remark about me being locked or frustrated. She's had more sex (id say we but ive been locked up everytime) in the 10 days than she would probably normally have in a month. So im pretty sure shes being taken care of. So yesterday she mentioned she was thinking about taking it off for my business trip at the end of the week. And to be frank the idea of ending it so soon scared the shit out of me. I have it in my head id like to try until valentines, although some here might think it unwise for my second proper lock up. We didnt really discuss a length of locked up this time. She intially made some jokes about it being longer than the last time and then jokingly asking if we had agreed to after our holiday on march. But I've made an effort not to pester her about when im likely to be unlocked and just tried to enjoy the ride. I would love your thoughts on wether or not i should ask her to consider keeping me locked longer (possibly till atleast valentines) or just go with the flow ?
I would consider what you are trying to accomplish with chastity in the long run. Being locked up is exciting, but is chastity itself the fetish, or is it a stepping stone to a deeper FLR/submission? What does your wife enjoy about it? Your answers will guide not just what you tell her, but how you do it. If it's just a kink she's humoring you with, by all means let her know what you want out of the experience. If you are trying to establish a deeper FLR, communication is still important, but be careful about undermining her control and treating her like a service top. Letting her control when you get out, even if it's earlier than you would like, can be very exciting too. Good luck, and be patient.
I agree that your goal with chastity is important. It doesn't hurt to let her know you're willing to go longer. But be sure she knows that it is her choice. You'll do what she wants because she is most important. It may be that she is unsure how long you should be in chastity, whether it is a good idea to go on a trip while locked (for safety and privacy issues), and if you only want to play while the two of you are together. But talk about it, it does sound like you are working well on a path that will be good for both of you.
I'm sorry for creating a sort of echo chamber here, but I'll add my voice to those advising you to talk to your wife and ask for more. If she's okay with you being in chastity, to the point of making jokes about it, she'll almost certainly be okay with talking about it. If you tell her that you do want to stay locked, that you're having fun locked, why would she wish to ruin your fun? Sure, she might be planning to make use of those parts of you that are now locked, but if that's the case, you two can simply talk about it and find a solution that will make you both happy.
Thanks for your responses, I know she is certainly enjoying how tidy the house is becoming atleast. Theres evidence to suggest she enjoys teasing me but I can't be certain that just part of the game. I'd say she was 90% vanilla she never really suggests anything kinky but is usually a good sport about trying it if the a suggestion is made. I'm really not sure what I want to get out of this long term. Currently I'd view the T&D aspect of this as a kink having experiemented with different things over the years. This is deffintley the thing that does it for me like nothing else. That being said there are lots of things I've discovered since trying chastity that I'm enjoying. Namely how much better of a husband it makes me. My wife is a very selfless and giving person and its easy to slip into the habit of taking advantage of that (not in overly negative way). Being locked forces me out of that comfort zone and switches up that dynamic. I enjoy the satisifcation of pleasing her but know within afew days of being unlocked things would go back to "normal". She has not always been a confident person but as she get older i see more and more sparks of her confidence coming through. I appreciate its early days but both times i've been caged it seems to draw out her blossoming confidence.Its always nice to see a person you love grow in such a way but I find it very sexy to see in her aswell. So wether or not that adds up to meaning I'd like this to evolve it to some sort of life style FLR or otherwise I don't know. I do quite like the idea of giving her pampering her with romantic weekend with all the care and attention of me having been locked up for a while. But I would hate to push things to far and put her off exploring chastity further. Nor would I really want this to be a service top as you cautioned it stops being about her if she is doing this purely for my sake. On your advice I think I'm gonna talk to her see if she can be convinced to atleast try it to the otherside of the business trip. And if she is game for that leave her with a letter while I'm away explaining what I've said above and suggest if she wants we could go until valentines atleast.
Two things have "worked" for me: 1) reassuring her that I dont really "need" unlocking. "If this is what YOU want hon, then great!, but dont do it for my sake because this thing makes me crazy for you and I kinda like it". 2) Dares. My GF is very playful and competitive. "Ha, I knew you couldn't hold out longer!". Be VERY careful of that last one because it can backfire on you in so many ways. I m still like my freedom once I taste it, but of course Im not the same man uncaged. Even when I try to do all the same things for her she sees through it like glass and puts a stop to it. So it is very possible that what she sees in you is more important than what you say, and your job is just to reassure her that it is ok.
As a quick update, we ended up having a chat about wether or not to I should be unlocked for the business trip. She had planned it to release me for it thinking it would not be fair on me. I explained that I was enjoying it so far and feel I could do alot longer. I floated the idea of keeping it going until valentines, without a moments hesitation she agreed to this idea and seemed quite keen. She admitted to having already considered this idea as she was enjoying it too. Also wanting to see what kind of weekend getaway she would be treated to in such an event. The conversation ended with the implication of a special reward afterwards if its upto scratch. So here I am now under lock and key for atleast the next 6 weeks *gulp* what have I got myself into.
You've gotten yourself to exactly where you need to be. It can be an addictive feeling that brings yourself closer to her. Ride that feeling and fall into your role beside her
Lots of really good advice in this thread, and I'm glad you two are on the same page and communicating well with each other. So many guys would kill to be in such a position! The only thing I'll add is just to make sure the cage is her way of keeping your cock locked away from you... and doesn't unintentionally become your way of keeping your cock locked away from her.
Yep, agree with what others have already advised. Best to start with communication with your wife about the desired long-term outcomes you both are expecting to realize. Every KH is different, of course. But, I know mine would not be receptive to me requesting any changes to what she already has in mind. She has been quite clear that I do not get what I want, only what I need, and she decides what my needs are. She makes the decisions, and I carry them out. So, I’d advise against simply requesting longer though I sympathize. Cheers and best wishes @radaz