In the beginning, I had hoped for what my chastity experience would be like. Now that it has been a 100 days of lockup today, I have noticed recently that initial excitement of MC has waned from goal oriented to fear of the unknown. Are you all experiencing something similar too?
I've not experienced that long a duration of chastity. But my longer ones, i sort of just settled in without fear.
I noticed we had a honeymoon period with chastity that lasted through the first 6 months we were into it. It had nothing to do with the duration of lock-up. Just for awhile it was new and exciting and then it wasn't. I don't mean that it was terrible, it just became normalized. It's like my marriage had a honeymoon period. When it was over I still loved my wife, I was happy I married her, but that new car smell was gone. I think when this happens the fear and self-doubt are more prone to set in. I remember once having a panic attack thinking "I'm going to die before I get to have my next orgasm". It was kind of depressing. Now I can laugh it off. I think the goal is to soldier through the low points and enjoy the high points and realize most of the time you're somewhere in between. Don't buy into the idea that there is something wrong with how you're feeling, it's natural.
You don't continue to feel the dopamine high in longer term chastity? So does the adoration for your kh wear off after a period of time? I don't want that at all. I hope it's not true.
What kind of of intimacy have you had with your keyholder this whole time you've been locked? If she is a lock it and forget it kind of KH then I can certainly see where you are feeling like this.
Nevermind, I just read some of your other posts. I can understand why you are in your current mind set. If you want to stay in the relationship, maybe you should make yourself an asexual too.