How did Chasitity begin for you?

Wow! I can somewhat relate to your situation, and I wish I had some words of wisdom to offer, but I'm afraid I don't.

All I can say is that I feel your pain, and wish you the best. Perhaps others here will have some sage advice to offer.

Good luck.

 

You 2 have discussed it. Perhaps compromise would be in order.
The mere thought of it turns you on. She does not want to have a marriage without pic sex. (Neither does my wife.)
Treat it like a fantasy as in pillow talk. She might be willing to lock you up only for foreplay and you would agree to give her your manhood the way she wants it inside her.
It will take effort on both your parts, but believe me, much of marriage is compromise and respect of the other.
It might be a good idea to go ahead and wear it to bed her when timing is right. Dwell on your desire for her to remove your CB for her to get made love to. I think she will appreciate your obvious condition.
Your wife could begin to associate her needs with hers.
If she routinely wears a bra, tell her that you feel about wearing a CB as she does about wearing a bra.
But surely she removes her bra when you make love!
If you want to remain celebrate, however, it might be best to bow out of the marriage and marry your CB.
The most important thing is that it is under discussion!!! Good for both of you!
One more tidbit of advice:
It is ironic that we as spouses must strive not to live only in our own head while at the same time much of sex and life itself is happening primarily in our minds.

 

I went through a similar situation! If she's completely vanilla she'll be horrified by the even the idea! I approached it as foreplay and just a kinky thing! But it has quickly progressed once she realized did I do anything to get out! Keep it light at first! I'm currently in for my first week and she is loving the attention that I'm giving her!

 

I introduced the idea at some point, though it did take years to evolve to more serious thing. I think she first agreed to try as I was curious about it. I have always been kinkier but she seems to have grown to it in a way. But there was a point where it came to make it or break it, as I realised I cannot or don’t want to live without chastity and femdom. Luckily she is still on board and it has become prevailing sexual direction for us.

I really don’t remember when I first found out about chastity. Maybe it was through a dating site early 2000s when someone was looking for a slave with a 2 month chastity probation. At time I even wasn’t that much into the idea at first! And now it has become one of the top fetishes

 

my begin
i tell her directly that im wanker(chronic one)
i love to see other women on pantyhose and get erection
i got sick everytime i do masturbation(which she must treat me)
she got angry and angry...and i tell her about chastity
sudenlly she became mistress and yes now i live in chastity

 

Complicated and I feel for your situation just Be honest..... secrets and lies destroy relationships and they leave scars that take years to heal how would you feel if you wife had been hiding things from you? I hope you can both Work through it not easy from both sides

 

I must be one of the lucky ones. Last summer I brought up the subject of MC and being locked in a cage. My Wife(KH) couldn't get a cage here fast enough. Right from the start she loved the idea of me being locked. We were never really "into" any kinky stuff, but she was willing to give it a try and I now wear a cage 99% of the time...

 

Once my wife put me in panties full time there was a kind of catharsis, for me, I suspect, it was much like the submission one feels while caged. The evolution to a cage seemed enviable, but in some ways not necessary. Maybe if I were not already pantied for many years and submissive to her. I do like being both caged and in panties though. For my wife she likes the submission.

 

How did chastity begin for me? I discovered Victorian male chastity belts (see avatar!) about 25 years ago, started tinkering with DIY efforts. Introduced it to my marriage as a fun thing about twenty years ago. It turns out my wife prefers me this way. Fast forward to five years ago, and it became my default bedroom wear.

What should you do?

You've talked about your fetish with your wife. Did she actually say "no" or was she kind of neutral? Two classic errors are (1) to expect a vanilla partner to rush to take ownership of the kink, and (2) not following through.

In your case, it would be entirely reasonable to say, "I bought a cheap chastity device off Amazon. Can we fool around while I'm locked into it?"

 

Here is an article my wife read at my request when I was introducing the idea.

https://malechastityjournal.com/caging-your-man/

After reading this and several discussions she agreed to give it a shot. I ordered a cheap holy trainer knock off to start. A few months in I again offered a few more articles for her to read.

http://www.brassiered.com/tamingthecagedbeast/introduction.html

https://www.reuniting.info/node/4865

After reading these articles and seeing first hand the changes in me from her training, As well as the benefits for her, and us, it stuck. She become my full time key holder. My default state was locked after a few months in. we upgraded the device and have been living this life style for just over a year now.

My wife is somewhat vanilla. Always been more kinky then her, but she most of the time indulged my fantasy. She still does, but now it's on her terms.

 

Chastity bumped around in my head like most of my fetishes... for years. I was reminded that I purchased a crude jockstrap/cup chastity device when I found it nearly 20 years later in a bag. It wasn't as new an idea as I had thought. I was finding a lot of orgasm denial erotica that I read when I was single, when I started dating my current wife, I put that away and didn't think of it again.

At some point in the marriage when we were way too comfortable with each other and I could feel the distance because (insert excuse here)… busy at work, busy with kids, busy with household chores, TV to catch up on, too tired, etc. When she wasn't available to me, particularly when I traveled for business, I would tend to the need myself. I mean, if I was hungry I wouldn't demand she make me a meal, I would feed myself. So when she wasn't interested or we weren't in the same city, I found a way to meet my own needs. Logical right?

There is a special connection you rob yourself and your wife from having when you don't depend on her for sex. It shouldn't be another job that she must complete, it should be a loving duty she is willing and wanting to perform; the same responsibility is important for him to take care of her. The joke that nature plays on us is that her sexual desire tails off quickly as she ages while his declines but on a much less steep gradient. My wife would be fine with sex once a month where I'm eager to try and hit 2-3 times a week.

When I suggested chastity she literally rolled her eyes at yet another kink I wanted to try that she wasn't all that interested in exploring. I went slowly, we did a day, a weekend, a week, a month and she had to fend me off in the closet, the shower, the kitchen and the bedroom. My excitement had to be reigned in and her interest slowly, slowly began to build where she keeps me caged 24/7/365.

Make no mistake, if I said that "I don't want to do this anymore" she wouldn't shed a tear but I think she has gotten to the point where she appreciates the attention, the affection and the option to have her own orgasm and roll over without any guilt.

Baby steps.

 

Just a few months into our relationship I bought a cheep plastic device for her as a joke. Next thing I know she has me trying it on “just for fun “. In that moment she discovered her need to be dominant. At first she would keep “her dick “ locked more off then on. But now she has decided that it’s better if it stays locked.

 

Chastity began because of my journey to attempt to stop my body from being able to be stimulated. It was no longer possible for a "normal" intimate relationship due to illness. To relieve any mental burden on her, after trying doctors and urologists to find a means to do so, even trying medications to produce the result, I found chastity devices. The meds risk/reward was questionable. The chastity device has no adverse side effects, only good ones. I am very satisfied from restriction and completed denial. I am self locked. At first, she didn't fully grasp the concept. Now, with her no longer having to feel bad, she says, she is grateful for my willingness to be locked away.

 

She came with the idea, innocently, as if it was a game to play. She was hiding Her ideas of locking my cock for eternity! It took less than three years between the first try of the first device and Her idea of eternity

 

How did chastity begin for me? Probably unexpectedly but I embraced the opportunity to explore sexuality further and was quickly shopping and ordering. I'd struck up a link on Facebook with someone - we exchanged images, DMs etc and somehow, the conversation turned to how I had started becoming somewhat controlled by this person - a male under a female psuedonym - and it was at this point that chastity was suggested.

I took the hint and, being extremely submissive, enquired on what they would like me to get. A cage was quickly ordered, received, and put on during a weekend alone at home. This was a time when I was heaviily into my lingerie crossdressing fetish. By 23/11 last year, I was locked up and open about being so on social media and getting very involved and explicit via social media whilst remaining caged for around 12 hours a day.

By late December, the conversation had progressed, I had ordered them a cage, part of what was probably eventually a three figure sum in lingerie, items of my own posted and then eventually, after I had ordered and shown them me wearing it, a holy trainer. I had previously sent them a spare key, more symbolic than anything else as, being long-term closeted but partnered, there could be nothing else, but I did post daily shots of me once dressed and chaste again and advised when I would be releasing myself.

Having been so intensively involved in crossdressing, I hit another wall at the turn of the New Year and stopped all activity. This didn't go down well with them, as a wall of silence followed a period of significant exchanges as I wielded the proverbial hatchet to everything I had been doing for what I concluded to be my own good. I probably, no, definitely, upset them and they have now blocked me on social media. It is, however, given the nature of what happened between us, albeit via social media only, what I deserve really.

Whilst the crossdressing remains at a halt, use of the chastity devices has continued as does use of other toys, my sexual deviancy and bi-curious nature continuing to drive me at times, yet other times, once I've had my fill so to speak (!), ebbs away again until the next time.

Having had about a week off, a merest reading of a blog entry made me yearn to be locked up again today - and so the cycle continues. Why I feel the need to lock myself up, I don't know at all. I'm just going along with it when the need arises.

 

My wife & I have a couple that is close friends. She started dropping hints of her husbands penis being locked away & she had the keys to his dick. Well within a few weeks she has my wife convinced that she would be a great Key Holder and to start talking to me about it. I said I’ve seen such things before but didn’t have much interest prior, I’d be willing to try it for her as it was intriguing to me also. So we talked about styles of cages, I preferred the stainless steel look & open for cleaning. Next thing I know she has one ordered without me helping to pick it out.
We started slow a few hours of play, her pleasured, me caged. Then a few days later we up it to overnights. I hit a medical snag (ring was to small & got Epididymitis. That’s been healing ok, got caged last night & back in it again this evening. I’m guessing that on Saturday night I may get locked up for at least 48 hours (will be my longest time so far I’ve only hit about 8 hours).
As others have said, you need to communicate with her about this, try it slow & build up. Best of luck.