I would like to start a thread to discuss things that have changed once you submitted to your partners. We have been in a flr now for 2 years and the last 9 months have been 24/7. My Domme took my iPhone and added parental controls I no longer can get online with my phone. It’s literally just a phone. When I am permitted to orgasm inside her I must perform oral sex after and make sure it’s totally clean. She has not done the laundry, dishes, cleaned the bathroom, etc in probably a year she stopped doing these things little by little. I basically do all the household chores including the cooking. Anger is just not allowed. I must calmly explain my position and she then makes a decision and I must accept it. I get an allowance of 50 dollars a week not a dollar more. And of coarse I only get orgasms when she wants me to. Our list goes on but would love to hear from others. At this point I don’t ever see us going back and our marriage seems so full it amazes me. I can’t explain how satisfying it is to submit to such a beautiful women and I wish we did this years and years ago.
I'm in a similar situation except the financial control and the iphone. We went through a period at the beginning of the year where we stopped both the chastity and FLM. We're back now and I'm much happier. While I do the shopping, cooking, dishes and laundry, we have a house cleaner come every two weeks, so I'm not scrubbing toilets. Ironically the most taxing and greatest service I perform is going to work and putting on my big boy alpha pants (over my caged penis in panties). I'd prefer to be doing things to serve her as well as explore and expand my sissy side. She doesn't want that though, she wants me to bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan. She gets what she wants.
To many, taking control of finances and internet access to that degree is verging on abuse. However, if it floats your boat, then I hope you enjoy that lifestyle.
How can something that is completely consensual be abuse? Is corporal punishment abuse in your mind? There is a lot of that that takes place in these parts also. I deserved to lose the internet on my phone I was on the thing all the time and and she got tired of it. She has done what I have been asking her to do for 14 years and I am not willing to top from the bottom and destroy the most amazing gift I have ever received.
This is what makes a FLR or a CSFLR ( controlling sex) relationship exciting. They are all different what works for one couple may not work for another couple and that alright. We have no rule book to follow it just between us. In our relationship Miss Shelly does nothing to control my finances, but sex is totally under her control. She tried to limit me to so many hours of Internet time a month but that ran into business problems, now my internet time is open but I'm not allowed to go to porn sights unless I ask her permission first which I haven't done in a very long time. She allows me to keep posting here at the Mansion but some other sights that I use to go to are now off limits. She does check my history. As for dishes, cleaning the house and most of the cooking. I do all that but I do No laundry, our arrangement is Perfect as your is to @Bonobo because it Works For You
My Bride controls the sexual aspect of our life completely and that would be one of the most obvious changes. I do just about all of the house work even before chastity and FLR. However, She is a bit of train wreck with the finances even though She earns way more than I, so we share that responsibility for the most part.
Our situation is very similiar except I earn about 5 times what she does. Their is more to life than just money. Like the saying. "You can't buy Happiness "
We must mutually agree on large purchases cars and house type purchases. However all small stuff basically anything less than 10k I don’t have a say anymore. And frankly it’s fine she spends very little money. So we should be very comfortable during retirement.
We're still new at this, but I had a similar moment a few days ago. My wife is not big into feminization, so I figured that when the time came and I wanted some less feminine options for my clothes at home (maybe some plain white or grey brief panties, maybe even men's underwear for days off, less girly nightshorts or wearing t-shirts and shorts on days), plus a new bathrobe. I mentioned to her some ideas for what to buy (perhaps a nightgown based on my favorite sports team), she told me flatly that I wasn't allowed such clothes. EVERYTHING I wear at home must be girly, and from now own I have to clear clothing purchases with her: if it's for at home, it needs to be girly and pretty. Her nightgowns are more masculine than anything I'll be allowed to wear ever again. It's early, but that was a shocking step to realize had been taken. I didn't expect her to seriously hold me to being the sissier, more feminine-dressed of the two of us.
Whilst we don't do feminisation I am not permitted to buy my own clothes! Apparently I have no idea! Sometimes I may be present when clothes shopping and I pick something up. She usually takes a look, smiles and puts it back! I'm fairly conservative in my tastes and Mrs Chaste doesn't make me wear things I don't like. When going out Mrs Chaste will select my outfit! Shoes are my choice to buy but again not without approval!
Let’s just say it wasn’t all her taking control and that’s that. We had been fighting finances for a while with crazy spending. Since I control my spending better him he asked me to take the reins and our family is on a budget and we have done great with it. Also we both have spending money for the week for fun money while everything else is itemized in our budget. Believe me it makes you more aware of what you frivolously spend money on. So while he made it sound extreme it was an agreed upon task it’s just I make sure he checks in with me on his spending so every dollar is accounted for. It works for us.
Thanks for explaining things. I’m very sensible with money, but if my wife wanted to itemise every single purchase, I would tell her where to go!
Itemizing was his idea. I was freaking out because I gave myself so much spending per check and was wondering how I would handle paying certain bills and now I have $80 per week to spend however I choose no questions asked and things like groceries, dining, sports are already in our budget. In addition his doing all of the chores are his idea too. His way of making it up to me for how life has been or 14 years where I did it all. While he does do these things 99% of the time I am allowed to do whenever I choose as well if I wish. While I don’t need to explain I just wanted to clarify so people didn’t get the wromg picture of our FLR
Kadira is spot on we sat down together and made some decisions on how to move forward. Yes it was my idea but it’s becoming more and more female led each week. We are only about 8 months into her accepting the role reversal and she still walks like she is on thin ice. This is very normal from all I have read and we take baby steps. However occasionally I get a stern reminder of things to come. Take last night for example. Yesterday I did not do a load of laundry she wanted done. So last night I was reminded to get it into the washing machine and when I came back upstairs I had my punishment waiting. I had to write in my note book the following “why do I not do as I am asked” while standing at the kitchen counter until the clothes were finished. And I could not have been more grateful form the reminder of who is in charge.
@JiL -- this is normal. Though much of this thread was about the Miss taking control of finances, it does not have to be this way -- it depends on your household, not other peoples'. It's like @PouchPantyLover said: She wants him to go to work, and she gets what she wants, so he does. Your Miss might rationally decide to delegate to you the financial management details and then just report in detail to her what you have done. Since she's in charge she gets to delegate whatever tasks she wants, whether it's laundry or bank account management. So if she wants to give you an allowance, that's fine. And if she wants, instead, to tell you 'here's the money, just make sure 10% ends up in our retirement account and all the bills get paid' that's fine too.
We have ventured a little further since talking about this. I handed over all my credit cards save one. I turned on transaction alerts for all so that she receives an email for any charge. Small steps and a long way from having her as the sole authorized owner on our bank account and a weekly allowance but baby steps ...and such a pivot from our dynamic over the past decade where she had no engagement on anything financial.
Good luck to you if it works for you! We couldn't handle that much. Neither of us is good enough to be fully in charge there!