It Has Been an Enlightening Journey So Far

I've been a member on here for several months but haven't gotten around to posting anything. I suppose that makes me a lurker. What i was really doing is enjoying knowing that there are others out there like my wife and I and we find it somehow erotic that other people around the world are experiencing some of the same things we are.

We are closing in on our 20th anniversary this summer. I suppose some outside of a "chastity" community may consider us kinky as we've explored many different kinds of activities over the years. However, we can't be categorized as a lifestyle couple in any particular lifestyle nor do we think we are any more kinky than the average but we are more adventurous, accepting and openly erotic with each other than might be deemed normal by those who align their sexuality with there politics.

I suppose I am generally sexually submissive, which gives some insight into my explorations of bisexuality when I was younger and the activities my wife and I have tried. In some things we've found mutual enjoyment. Other things we laugh about as we wonder why we might have thought it would be arousing in the first place. Still others we surprise ourselves at how much something as simple as a sexual act can change our perspective and bring us closer together.

Years ago we talked about strapon play and invested in a high-quality harness and realistic cock dildo. We were excited at the prospect and both of us enjoyed the reversal of roles but my wife surprised herself when she found that the most exciting element for her was when she had me suck her strapon cock. We'd both get carried away. She from seeing me on my knees attempting to treat this monster like it was real and me from knowing her view was of me trying to stuff a quite realistic 8" cock down my throat. It got to the point where this became a kind of foreplay where we'd get excited with the strapon sucking but then she'd take it off and have me fuck her while she teased me about how sucking cock made my own so hard.

Even though I had long been proud of my ability to hold off cumming until she did, eventually one of these sessions with the strapon sent me over the edge early within seconds of getting inside of her and I came uncontrollably. It was a turning point. Without so much as a word she pulled her hips away and pushed my head down. It took no imagination at all to know what she wanted and I licked her while she thrashed, moaned and screamed to an orgasm. All the while I could taste my own cum. Later, she admitted that knowing I was licking cum made it so much more excited for her. Soon she was telling me where and how to cum -- on her breast, her ass, in her hand, on her pussy -- all with the unspoken expectation that I would lick up my cum and then lick her to a big orgasm. I was in heaven. I had never experienced any woman having such intense orgasms. When we fucked the objective changed for both of us. She wanted me to cum fast and lick her to orgasm. I learned that I got a lot more satisfaction experiencing my wife cumming hard and load than I did just barely getting her over the edge with my cock.

We knew what cumplay was and understood that we were enjoying our own version. However, it wasn't until much later did we realize it was the control of my orgasms that made my wife excited. For the first time she was regularly expressing preferences for how and when I came and, importantly, how fast I came. My urge to please her and give her pleasure played right into her developing fetish to extend control over my orgasms. One night when she was out of town on business we were exchanging sexy texts when I told her I was hard and was going to jerk off thinking about her. She surprised me by objecting and asking me to wait until the next night. I complied but found the fact that she had told me not to jerk off even more arousing than what had led up to be wanting to in the first place. The next day, while waiting for my wife to return from her trip and give me release, I started looking into chastity.

It didn't take much to start imagining the scenarios and discovering that the prospect of complete control excited her immensely. It took even less to turn this insight into action and order our first chastity device. Upon its arrival and my first experience being locked and turning over the key i can honestly say that our sexual world was turned inside out by what is really a simple device.

I very quickly discovered that the sensation of being locked was arousing in itself. I could never forget that my cock was locked in a cage. When my wife was around I could never forget that she knew I was locked. Apparently she couldn't forget either. She kept asking how I was doing. In the evening she'd fondle my locked cock and swollen balls and took to teasing me about how helpless I was until she pushed me down to give her pleasure in the only way I had left to me. I didn't fail to note that she was already excited and wet by the time my tongue found her pussy.

Our first foray into male chastity was not without issues. I had never had any illusions regarding my endowment and considered myself average and had ordered the first device using that assumption. It didn't take long to determine that the fact my flaccid cock filled only half the cage was uncomfortable. With some embarrassment I mentioned this problem to my wife and she surprised me with a bit of giggling about my predicament. I had been locked for 3 days at that point and was looking forward the the prospect of being let out for some relief. Instead, we sat in bed, her naked and me locked, and researched options for smaller, more comfortable devices.

. . . realized that I've written a lot and have run out of time. Will come back later and complete my introduction . . .

 

Thank you for the positive feedback. It certainly does help to know that others share the same experience. i hope to learn a lot more on this site.

 

I figured I'd respond to my own post and continue my very long introduction. At the very least, taking the time to write this out is helping me to understand what it is that has made chastity such an important experience for us . . .

While we were contemplating comfortable and practical options for chastity devices after determining that our first was simply too large, a discussion about cock size was unavoidable. My wife had never said anything about the size of my cock one way or the other. She was clearly both very interested in getting the size right for our next device but was also uncomfortable discussing my size because she didn't want me to feel bad. I finally told her that I knew I was not well-endowed but didn't feel inadequate or less than a man, mostly because we had been together for so long and, not only had she not complained, but she very obviously enjoyed sex with me. That broke the ice on the discussion about size.

This time around, we spent much more time educating ourselves on device fitment and reading advice on what worked best for others. I determined that the best option for me was a chastity device that fit my flaccid cock well and permitted no erections while I was locked. Using the first device as reference, a CB6000, I knew that my cock could get mostly erect in the cage but filled less than half the cage when flaccid. Our exploration of the sizing and device options turned into a very arousing, revealing and delightfully embarrassing process. Honestly, I had never measured my cock before. Perhaps I had unconsciously avoided it. So the very first time in my life my cock was measured was by my wife after 18 years of marriage. Somehow the anticipation and the embarrassment of it all made me rock hard. I figured I was as big as I ever got.

We are not in the habit of keeping a tape measure near the bed so she improvised. My wife had note cards in her bedstand (she actually takes notes while she reads in bed) and pulled one out and measured my erect cock from the top per the instructions we were referencing on one of the "how to size a chastity device" blogs. My cock disappeared behind the note card. It was slightly shorter than the length of the card. My wife giggled and smiled with some relief thinking I wouldn't be embarrassed. "Oh that's nice!" she said, "You're almost 6 inches. Not to little and not too much." I was quiet. I knew the error she was making and at the same time I was shocked at what this indicated. I don't know what motivated me to correct her but I did almost involuntarily. "Beth" I said, "That is a 3X5 card."

She was stunned and just stared at me then stared at my still erect cock. She turned away to her bedstand and fished out the packaging for her notecards. I could tell by her reaction that she had confirmed that these were indeed 3 x 5 cards. She turned back to me and started to say, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to . . ."

I stopped her and said it was ok and that knowing didn't change anything for me as long as it didn't change anything for her. She insisted that she never had any complaints and then her hand wrapped around my cock noted that this all must have been very exciting for me. I was rock hard and leaking precum. My cock was twitching in her hand. She kissed me and whispered in my ear "Fuck me with your little cock." That was a turning point.

We settled on a Holy Trainer Nano with a cage that is 1.36" long. The device is not bulky at all and is comfortable to wear long term. I especially like it because I can wear it doing almost any activity. It took some time to get used to the visual effect of such a small cage. It really is tiny and calls attention to the fact that my cock fits comfortably in such a small space. The attention to my size, or lack thereof, has developed into an exciting aspect of our chastity play and sexual relationship overall.